


The One That Got Away

by neld13



Category: Love Island (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, F/M, Guilt, Love Triangles, Post-Villa (Love Island: The Game), Rough Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:27:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 54,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24380533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neld13/pseuds/neld13
Summary: Bobby's Love Island experience did not end as he expected after he placed all of his bets on the wrong person. Could someone else in the Villa have been a better match for him all along? It was probably too late for him to find out now, right?
Relationships: Bobby/MC, Bobby/OFC
Comments: 287
Kudos: 164





	1. Chapter 1

Bobby wrung his hands together nervously, his eyes fixated on the fire in front of him as he pointedly avoided any interaction with Priya standing beside him. He had thought for weeks that they were a solid couple. They'd been together since she swooped in and stole him out from under Harper. If he was honest, he hadn't seen that going anywhere anyway, so he'd been glad that Priya had offered him an easy out. She was a gorgeous girl, but he got the feeling it wouldn't have taken long for her to grow bored of him and get snappy. He was all too familiar with the scenario. Priya, though. She was just as goofy as him when she wanted to be. But she also possessed the ability to calm his nerves when everything started to get on top of him and remind him that not every issue was his to fix. On paper, she was exactly what he needed.

The last week had been strange, though. Bobby was sure it had started when they'd gotten the opportunity to go shopping for the rest of the Villa. Bobby had been pumped. After being cooped up amongst non-stop drama for over three weeks, he'd been chomping at the bit to get out and get a break. His excitement and, for lack of a better word, hyperactivity were something he was never able to keep under wraps. And within the Villa walls, Priya was the same. Out in public, though, she was different. She had seemed almost embarrassed by his enthusiasm, as though seeing him the way he was in an everyday setting was somehow too much for her, and she'd rather be anywhere else.

He'd also been pumped for the heart rate challenge, but for a different reason. After three weeks of sharing a bed with the girl, even after a trip to the hideaway, they still hadn't gone further than kissing. He could bleat on about liking her personality as much as he wanted, but the fact remained that Priya was hot. And waking up morning after morning with his hard on pressed against her ass and never getting the tiniest ounce of relief was beyond frustrating. Especially given the show's strict "no masturbation" rule. When the challenge text had been read out, he'd felt an entirely different kind of excited. _This is my chance_ , he'd thought to himself. His chance to show her that he wasn't always jokes, that he could be sexy and dominant and drive her crazy in all the best ways.

But it had fallen flat. He'd gotten more of a reaction out of Lottie and Harper, and he could feel the moment her nonchalance hit his self esteem. It bothered him to no end. It had taken years to shake that gangly, awkward teenager that he used to be and he was finally feeling confident in himself, yet with one single thinly veiled uninterested glance from Priya, he felt it all coming undone. And when it came to her turn she hadn't even tried, opting instead for some half assed comedy routine in lue of having to actually touch him.

Now he was stood next to Priya, Rahim and Jo. It was the night before the final and he was in one of the bottom two couples, waiting for the other finalists to decide who would stay for the final with them, and who would be dumped. All because he was too stupid to realise he'd been stuck in a glorified friendship couple for the entire summer. Because he had thought he and Priya had something, when the harsh reality he had seen too late was that he was her 'he'll do for now'. He risked a glance over at her. He was pissed, and he knew his face would show it, especially to people who'd seen only his mask of happiness for the last month. He was disappointed, but not surprised, to see the same expression on Priya's face. She had counted on him being a fan favourite being enough to get them through to the final, but now the decision had been ultimately left up to those who knew them. The people who had seen their relationship start to crumble a week ago, and who knew that as things stood now, Priya and Bobby would probably not speak again after the show.

He looked past her at Rahim and Jo. In stark contrast to him and Priya who were standing a measured distance from each other, Rahim held Jo in his arms, whispering something to her and rubbing slow, comforting circles on her back. Despite his own disappointment with how his summer had ended up, he was happy for his friend. Ibrahim had had a rough time in the Villa. From being constantly scrutinised by Marisol, to having half the girls turn on him for both choosing to switch after Casa Armor, and then for kissing Jo on their first date. Jo didn't seem to get along with many other people in the Villa, but Bobby was glad his friend was happy, even if no one else could understand what he saw in his partner.

The other couples began slowly returning to the fire pit. No one wanted to look up at the two couples before them, until Harper and Lucas returned. They had taken far longer making a decision than anyone else, and when they took their places on the other side of the fire pit, Bobby could see that Harper's eyes were red and puffy. She looked directly at him and smiled sadly. Lucas held her tightly with an arm around her shoulders, and as much as they'd not been the best of mates in the Villa, Bobby was glad that the older man was there for his friend. Of all the girls in the Villa, Bobby had gotten along with Harper the best. Over the last week he had found himself often wondering what would've been if Priya hadn't coupled up with him in the beginning. Part of him was grateful, as he loved the friendship as it was. Other times, when he'd watch her and Lucas together, he'd regret not recoupling up with her. She and Lucas were happy, though. They'd connected right from the start and Harper had been deeply upset when the other girls effectively got him dumped before she had a chance to couple up with him. She had been thrilled to get a second chance with him, and Bobby was happy that they'd made it to the final together. He was snapped out of his thoughts by an all to familiar sound. He watched Harper sigh and unlock her phone before she began to read.

"Islanders, the votes have been counted. The final couple joining you in tomorrow's finale is…"

She trailed off and looked around at the others. Chelsea jumped when her message tone beeped, then took a deep breath as she looked at her phone, then looked sadly up at him.

"Jo and Ibrahim."

Bobby braced himself for a tantrum from Priya, but instead she silently turned and headed inside the Villa. Before he had a chance to react, a pair of arms flung around his neck. He wrapped his in turn around Harper's waist and held her tightly for a few seconds before pulling away and smiling at her.

"Dramatic, much? I'll see you tomorrow, you know."

He teased. He had to tease. Because if he didn't joke about this, he'd realise that he was leaving Love Island with someone who couldn't care less about him, that he'd wasted his entire summer.

"I'll help you pack, mate."

Lucas spoke up as he came to stand beside Harper. Bobby blinked at him. That was unexpected.

"Uh, sure. Thanks, man."

They walked together to the Villa, both looking over their shoulders just as Harper was being pulled into a hug by Lottie.

"You don't have to do this…"

Bobby began, unsure why Lucas was helping him. Lucas shrugged and patted the shorter man's shoulder.

"You mean a lot to her. She means a lot to me."

Bobby glanced over at him with a small smirk.

"Are you saying I mean a lot to you by default?"

He tried to keep a serious expression on his face. Lucas rolled his eyes as they entered the bedroom, but Bobby saw the corner of his mouth twitch into an almost smile for a split second.

"Just shut up and pack."

Bobby didn't dislike Lucas, they just didn't have much in common. They were very different people and had never really found anything to talk about. As far as he could tell, the feeling was mutual.

\--

Once he and Priya were packed, the other islanders gathered around them at the door, showering them in hugs and tearful goodbyes. Harper stood between the two of them, one arm around each, seeming torn over who to say goodbye to first. Despite his own problems with his partner, he knew the girls had become close friends. Priya extracted herself from the group hug first, and Harper moved to grip Bobby's hand.

"I'm so sorry things ended up this way for you."

She murmured in his ear before Priya started to speak.

"I don't even know what to say. Even though this isn't coming to an end in quite the way I expected, I'm so glad to have spent this summer with all of you."

She paused and took a deep breath.

"I'm terrible at goodbyes, but I'll see you all tomorrow. Good luck, guys!"

Bobby sighed and stepped up next to her.

"Like she said, I'll see you all tomorrow. Better make the next twenty-four hours entertaining, you know I'm gonna be watching."

He grinned, but it faded when he saw the sad expressions on his friends' faces.

"Guys, seriously. There's no shame in not making it if you come this far. I didn't think I'd make it past the first dumping! Best of luck, everyone!"

With that he turned, debating holding Priya's hand as they walked down the path together but decided against it. Their journey was over, no point in pretending they were still a couple when they both knew otherwise.

"I really am sorry, Bobby."

Priya offered quietly as their jeep pulled up to take them to the motel. Bobby just nodded in response.

He didn't want to talk about it. He'd gone to Love Island to find love, after a lifetime of friend zoning girls and being friend zoned himself, and he couldn't believe it had taken him so long to see it happening again. His summer of love had come to an end, and he had no love to show for it. If there had been someone better for him in the Villa, he'd completely missed it.

And now, it was over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Thoughts, feelings, concerns? Good or bad, you can find me on Reddit u/ffkatbee and my inbox is always open!


	2. Chapter 2

His first night sleeping in a room with only one other person had not been what Bobby was expecting. The jeep had pulled up to the motel and he and Priya were escorted to their room, where Bobby had been fully expecting to take a decent, long shower and then crash out to the sound of silence. Instead, Priya had called first dibs on the bathroom, and he had fallen asleep face down on the couch to the sound of the shower running. He woke up sore and feeling like he'd managed an hour of sleep, max.

"Are we going to talk at all, or…?"

Priya raised an eyebrow at him from across the small table they were sat at for breakfast. Bobby stared moodily at the food laid out before them, and he heard Priya sigh.

"I'll take that as a no."

"What do you want me to say, Priya? I don't even know what I did to turn you off me."

He finally looked up at her. She looked different this morning. She was dressed in a pair of white linen shorts and a pink singlet top and her hair was pulled into a messy ponytail at the top of her head. In the Villa she'd always been the first girl to do herself up for the day, but she'd chosen to give her skin a break this morning and do her makeup for the final later. Looking at her bare faced and in regular clothes, Bobby could feel a very small part of himself falling for her a little more.

"You didn't do anything."

Bobby just stared, waiting for her to continue.

"I really liked you in the beginning-"

She was cut short by Bobby's short bark of laughter.

"In the beginning. Sounds familiar."

"I just- You're so much fun, and you make me laugh, and you're adorable,"

She paused, and Bobby could see her thinking over what she wanted to say. Adorable. It wasn't the first time a girl had used that word to describe him. And it still wasn't the label he wanted permanently fixed to him. Just once, he'd like a girl to see him as hot or sexy. Not to talk about him as though he was a basket of kittens.

"I just want more than that."

Priya finally finished. Inside he was screaming at her; I AM MORE THAN THAT! But outwardly he just shook his head sadly at her.

"Priya, I came on to you so hard in there but you weren't interested. You never gave me a chance to show that I could be more than cute, or funny."

Priya winced.

"Honestly… I just can't see you like that, Bobby."

And there it was. The story of his life. Girls looked at him, and they saw a cute, lovable goofball. It had always baffled him to a point. He was a straight male in his 20s. He had fantasies just like other straight males of his age. Quite regularly he'd have such vivid fantasies that his body would react before his brain and he'd struggle to gain control of it. Very rarely did women give him a chance to show that side of himself. The horny and borderline controlling side. They always struggled to get past the goofball side of his personality.

He supposed it was time he accepted it. He was that guy. The straight, gay best friend. He always had been, and he always would be.

"Alright."

What else could he say? He felt exhausted, even though it was only 8am. He wanted to go home and go back to his life and forget that this month had ever happened.

"Bobby,"

"Nah, it's alright. I get it. It's not like you're the first girl to say it."

He got to his feet, not having touched any of the food. He went back over to the couch and flopped down face first again, hoping Priya got the hint and didn't bother him.

\--

They barely spoke again for the rest of the day, other than some casual chat while they got ready for the final and during the jeep ride back to the Villa. They took their places at the front of the crowd and waited for the final to begin. Back in front of the cameras, Bobby made sure his smile was back in place on his face, though inside he wanted to be anywhere else. As happy as he was for his friends still in the Villa, it hurt to know that they'd all found what they were looking for. The only comfort he had was the knowledge that he'd soon see Gary, Rahim, Lottie and Harper again.

The noise of the crowd died down as the speakers mounted up by the front door of the villa crackled and a voice boomed out of them.

"Ladies and gentlemen, introducing this year's Love Island third runners up, Jo and Ibrahim!"

Bobby was almost deafened by the cheers and applause around him, and he happily joined in, shooting Priya a grin. Whatever was between them was put aside for the moment as they celebrated their friends. Jo and Ibrahim walked through the door hand in hand, and Bobby didn't think they could look any happier than if they'd won. They sat in the empty chairs directly in front of Bobby and Priya, and Bobby leaned forward to clap his friend on the shoulder.

"Good work, mate."

Ibrahim looked back at him with a bright smile, and Bobby shot Jo a wink before the voice over the speakers came through again.

"This year's second runners up… Chelsea and Henrick!"

The crowd went wild again, and Bobby watched happily as the two blondes took their seats at the other end of the rows of chairs. This meant that one of his favourite girls had won and he was almost on the edge of his seat waiting to find out who. He could see Priya beside him was just as anxious. He knew that she and Harper had clicked immediately, despite Priya technically stealing him from the other girl. Priya and Lottie had had a rocky start but had become close after a couple of weeks. The crowd hushed once more as the crackling came over the speakers again.

"Lets have a round of applause for this year's runners up… Harper and Lucas!"

If he'd thought the noise was deafening before, now it made his head spin. He was near bursting with happiness as he watched one of his best friends walk through the door, hers' and Lucas' arms wrapped around each other. They stopped the doorway and kissed, and Bobby felt a pang of something in his chest as he watched Lucas dip Harper backwards, their lips locked together, eyes closed. Pain? Jealousy? Bobby frowned and shook the feeling off, reasoning that it was only because she'd picked him way back on day one. That could've been me, a small voice in the back of his mind was telling him.

Harper and Lucas sat beside Rahim and Jo, an and Bobby once again leaned forward.

"You look happy, love."

He whispered in Harper's ear, and she turned to look at him. She wore an unreadable expression for a split second before it was replaced with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Thanks, Bobby."

"Ladies and gentlemen, lets hear a huge round of applause for the winners of Love Island 2019…"

There was a long pause, and Bobby almost laughed in the silence. Why make it so dramatic? There's only one couple it could be.

"Lottie and Gary!!"

The crowd went wild yet again, and though Bobby was happy for his friends, for some reason he couldn't tear his eyes away from Harper and Lucas' fingers entwined between their seats in front of him. He snapped out of it when the crowd burst into cheers again, just as Lucas raised Harper's hand to his mouth to press a kiss to her knuckles. He'd missed the whole envelope reveal, but got the gist that Gary had received the money and chose to split it.

"We'd like to now invite all islanders back into the villa for one last party!"

Bobby caught Priya's eye as they stood and headed for the Villa door, and she gave him a questioning look.

"I'm sorry I stole you from-"

She started, before Gary's heavy arm slumped over his shoulder and he was led away toward the other boys.

What the hell was that about?

\--

It was by far the best party they'd had at the Villa. No cameramen, the stationary cameras were turned off, and the ridiculous two drink maximum rule was no longer in effect. He'd definitely taken advantage of that last bonus and was feeling more than a little buzzed as he happily danced and joked around with his mates, not needing to worry about the world seeing his antics, nor about maintaining any kind of facade with Priya.

"Bobs!!"

Harper pounced on him from behind, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and her legs around his hips. He laughed as he stumbled before regaining his balance, hands coming to rest under her thighs to hold her up.

"Harps!!"

"I wanna talk to you, Mister."

She slightly slurred in his ear. She had clearly gone past two drinks as well. He turned his head to look at her and she nodded toward the Villa.

"Inside. Away from…"

She trailed off and slid from his back, gesturing all over the yard before turning and walking inside. He followed her in and up the stairs to the bedroom, where she closed the door behind them.

"I'm sorry about you and Priya."

She spun away from the door and leaned against the wall next to it. He sat on the bed closest to the door and sighed.

"Not your fault."

"I could've fought harder for you. You wouldn't of stayed with her the whole time."

Bobby shrugged and looked up at her with a small frown.

"To be honest, I was happy with her. I thought we'd be something. And you're happy with Lucas, so…"

He trailed off and shrugged.

"Hmm. I had the hots for you so bad, though. If we'd still been coupled up when Luc came in, I wouldn't of looked twice at him."

Bobby stared at her, unsure if he'd heard what he thought he'd heard.

"What?"

He asked dumbly, and she shook her head with a small smile.

"Doesn't matter. What's done is done, right?"

"I guess."

There was an awkward silence between them for a moment. Bobby thought it may have been the first one all summer.

"I guess we should get back out there before people start to talk."

Harper pushed herself away from the wall and slid the bedroom door open. She turned to look at him, looking as though she was going to.say something else. She seemed to change her mind though and smiled at him instead.

"I'll see you around, yeah?"

He suddenly realised that this could well be the last time he saw her. She was from Leeds, which wasn't exactly an impossible distance from Glasgow, but what reason would she realistically have to make the trip? Especially when her focus would be in the other direction towards Oxford.

"Count on it, Bobs."

She winked at him, her eyes studying him for a beat longer than he'd expected before she turned and disappeared out of the room.

He let out a long sigh and rubbed a hand over his face as he got to his feet. He may not be heading home with a girlfriend, but at least he could take a small amount of comfort in the fact that he'd made some great friends during his Love Island adventure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Thoughts, feelings, concerns? Good or bad, you can find me on Reddit u/ffkatbee and my inbox is always open!


	3. Chapter 3

Bobby had been back in Glasgow for just over two weeks, and as predicted, he’d not heard a word from Priya since leaving Mallorca. He had, however, been in frequent contact with just about everyone else so he supposed he couldn’t complain too much. As far as he could tell through conversations with the other ex-islanders, no one really had heard from Priya. She’d appeared in several interviews, as they all had, but she always flat out refused to appear anywhere with Bobby, or with anyone else. Which left him answering a lot of awkward questions about their “relationship” on his own. That’s how he’d ended up in the position he was in now. Just off work after his second day back, and he was stopped outside the back entrance of the hospital, staring at his phone with a frown on his face.

_Caller unknown_

Back before Love Island, caller unknown simply meant one of his mates had forgotten to switch their caller ID back on after having pranked someone. Or that he was the one being pranked. Now, it meant reporters, tabloid writers, or that stalker from a few days ago who had somehow managed to get hold of his number. He sighed, frustrated by the constant attention. He’d known it’d be a little crazy when he left the island, but it had been so much more than he’d expected. Also, he’d expected to be dealing with it all with someone by his side. Namely Priya.

“This is Bobby.”

He answered within seconds of his phone sending the call to voice mail.

“Bobby! So glad to have caught you! This is Ann Kingsley from Tell All magazine, do you have a minute to spare?”

“Sure. We’ve met already, right?”

Bobby was sure he’d already spoken to someone from that magazine, but if he was honest he’d spoken to so many people about so much of the same that he was beginning to lose track. Maybe if his summer had turned out a little more like he’d thought it was going to he’d actually enjoy talking about it. But as it was, he just wanted to put it behind him.

“We have, that’s right. I was wondering if we could get you to take a little trip to London next week? We’ll cover all expenses.”

Bobby hesitated. He’d just started back at work, he wasn’t sure how his boss would feel about him taking off again so soon. Plus what reason could they possibly have to call him to London?

“Ah, I’m not sure. Today was my second day back at work, and… Why?”

“Well as you know we’re based in London, we were hoping to get all the finalists together and have a chat, maybe do a little bit of a photo shoot?”

“I wasn’t a finalist.”

“Right, but you were the fan favourite who only just missed out and everyone wants to hear from you.”

There was another pause, but Ann continued on before Bobby could reply.

“Look, talk it out with your boss and get back to me tomorrow, yeah?”

“I’ll see how I go.”

They both said their goodbyes and Bobby hung up the phone, already resolving not to bother asking his boss and just telling her tomorrow that he couldn’t get the time off.

\--

Bobby’s phone vibrated from where it rested on his chest as he laid back on his couch, enjoying some peace while he watched random music videos on his TV. He groaned and swiped the screen to unlock it, instantly happy to see a new text message from Harper.

_Bobs! Be seeing you soon ;)_

Bobby sat up straight. Why would she be seeing him soon? Was she planning to come and visit him? She’d casually mentioned the idea of coming to Glasgow a few times, both in the villa and via text message since, but he’d not actually taken her seriously.

_How’s that, then?_

He sent back, the music of the television forgotten as he waited for an answer.

_Did Ann not call you? She said you’d be in London with us._

Oh. That. He rolled his eyes at himself. Of course she wasn’t planning to come and visit him.

_She did. I wasn’t planning on going._

_Aw, nah, c’mon! You’ve gotta come._

_I can’t get the time off._

_Call in sick._

Bobby sighed. She was relentless when she wanted to be.

_Then when Tony sees that I’ve done an interview in London when I was supposed to be sick?_

_Oh whatever, Bobby. Stop making excuses and come see me!_

He paused with his finger hovering over the keyboard on his phone. Come see _me_?

_I mean, come and see all of us, obvs._

She sent back a few seconds later and he couldn’t ignore the slightly deflated sensation in his chest.

 _Maybe_.

_Not good enough._

_Probably._

_You can do better than that._

_OK, fine. I’ll be there._

_:) :) Yeah you will!_

Bobby locked his phone, wanting to be annoyed but unable to keep the smile off of his face. The prospect of seeing Harper again excited him and he found himself actually looking forward to an impromptu trip to London. Even if they managed to get Priya there as well, he was sure his happiness at seeing everyone else would outweigh the nervousness he felt about having to see her again. He unlocked his phone again and scrolled through his contacts to call his boss, a small smile still playing on his lips.

\--

A week later, Bobby stood at London Luton Airport waiting for his ride. He thankfully hadn’t been bothered by anyone so far, and he self consciously reached up to pull the hood of his sweater over the beanie he already wore on his head. He knew that if anything was going to give him away, it would be his dreads so he made sure to keep them covered.

The first thing he saw as a black SUV pulled up at the side of the road was the back window wind down, and Harper’s smiling face poke out.

“Oi! That’s my car!”

He feigned offence as he picked up the duffel bag from beside him. She grinned and opened the door for him before scooting back over to make room for him.

“He just got me from the train station and was talking about taking me to the motel then coming back for you. Which I said was ridiculous, they could just pick you up on the way.”

She grinned at him.

“It’s so good to see you.”

He leaned over to hug her, holding on for maybe a little too long. It was really was so good to see her. He hadn’t realised how much he’d missed her until now.

“Where’s Lucas?”

“He’s already here. He got a train from Oxford this morning, texted me about two hours ago that he’d arrived.”

She paused and glanced at him uneasily.

“He and Priya were the first ones here.”

“Ah. So she actually came? I didn’t think she would…”

He shook his head and cut himself off.

"Doesn't matter. How are you and Lucas going?"

"Really good! It's a little tricky at the moment with the distance, but that's only for another couple of weeks."

She smiled brightly at him.

"One of you is moving?"

He asked hesitantly. The second the question slipped out of his mouth, he realised he didn't want to know. He didn't want to hear about how well everyone was doing when he'd not had any contact with his own partner since the season after party.

"He is." 

She was almost bouncing in her seat. Bobby was surprised, he hadn't taken Lucas for the type to uproot his life for someone else.

"He is?"

"Yeah he started looking for work in Leeds as soon as the show finished, he found a job almost straight away. Two more weeks and he'll be closer!"

"Not moving in with you, then?"

Her smile faltered and she looked almost… ashamed.

"Uh, no. He wanted to, but… I don't think I'm ready for that just yet."

Bobby opened his mouth to point out that they'd lived together in the villa, but shut it again when he saw the look on her face. She'd clearly already had this argument with someone. Probably Lucas.

"Well I'm happy for you, Lass. I'm glad it's still working for you two on the outside."

They spent the rest of the car ride in comfortable silence. He didn't want to push for details about Lucas, and she didn't want to push for a conversation about Priya.

\--

It had been a long day and by the time Bobby fell backwards onto the bed in his motel room, he was exhausted. The combination of seeing his friends again, along with trying to avoid spending any real time with Priya had worn him out.

He couldn't deny that seeing her again had brought back a lot of emotions. When he first spotted her in the lobby he was reminded of how much he'd fallen for her in the short time he'd known her, despite everything that had happened between them in that time. His heart had beat a little faster when she shot him a nervous smile, and although a part of him desperately wanted to try and make things work with her, he knew deep down that her friendly conversation was just her trying to be polite. She'd made it quite clear that she no longer saw him as a potential partner.

He stared up at the ceiling, debating whether he wanted to shower, or just go to bed and shower in the morning, when his phone vibrated from the bedside table. He sighed and half rolled over to grab it.

_Harper: R U up?_

Bobby frowned and glanced at the time at the top corner of his phone. It was just after 11pm.

_Bobby: Yeah. U ok?_

_Harper: Yeah. Bored. Can't sleep. Wanna go somewhere and get a drink?_

_Bobby: Can't you ask Lucas?_

_Harper: He's asleep. Everyone's asleep._

He sighed and ran a hand over his face with a groan as he sat up. It's not as though he was going to manage sleep anyway.

_Bobby: Meet you in the lobby in 10, then?_

_Harper: :) Don't keep me waiting._

There was a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach as he pulled his shirt off and dug around in his bag for a clean one, opting for a dark grey long sleeved button down. He felt… nervous? And he wasn't sure why. But there was something else underneath it, something that made him uneasy. Something was screaming at him from deep down that this was a bad idea. He pulled his beanie back over his head and slashed on a little aftershave before heading out to the motel lobby.

The voice screamed at him louder from inside his head when he laid eyes on her. She was standing with her back to him, wrapped in a tight red strapless dress, her golden locks swept back into a braid hanging down her back. She turned when she heard his footsteps and smiled warmly at him.

"Good to go?"

She raised an eyebrow at him and held out her hand. Bobby hesitated, staring at her hand for a split second, before he forced himself to silence the alarm bells going off in his mind. Fuck it, he thought. What could possibly happen? He smiled back at her and took her hand in his, letting her lead him out of the motel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Thoughts, feelings, concerns? Good or bad, you can find me on Reddit u/ffkatbee and my inbox is always open!


	4. Chapter 4

He walked behind Harper into a seedy looking bar a few blocks away from their motel. They had picked somewhere relatively small and dark so as to avoid anyone recognising them. So far, so good. They ordered a beer each and slid into a booth as far away from the rest of the patrons as they could get.

"Thanks for this, Bobs."

He smiled and clinked the neck of his bottle against hers before taking a long drink.

"So what's up?"

"Nothing."

He raised an eyebrow at her and had another mouthful of beer.

"You messaged someone that isn't your boyfriend in the middle of the night for a drink."

He said pointedly, watching her fingers nervously pick at the corner of the label on her beer bottle.

"I guess… things have been different since we got home."

He stayed quiet, waiting for her to continue.

"Things were so exaggerated in that bloody house, you know? Then it's like, we get out, and have to start over."

"Start over?"

She looked up at him, appearing suddenly defeated.

"So, take me and Lucas. Things are great, don't get me wrong. But, it's all so different when there's jobs and family and stuff to worry about, aren't they? It's like starting the relationship all over again. And we just, don't seem as compatible in the real world, I guess?"

He didn't know what to say without turning her vent around and making it about himself and his experience with Priya. At least his partner had realised a little earlier that he wasn't someone she wanted to make a real go of things with. But then, their relationship had barely been more than platonic in the Villa. He supposed it would be different developing the beginnings of a real relationship in there, only to get back to normal life and discover that the feelings didn't quite transfer in the same way. She sighed and shook her head.

"Sorry, I shouldn't be dumping this on you. I'm sure you're still processing what happened with Priya."

"Not really anything to process, if I'm honest. She made it clear she only sees me as a friend, so what can I do? I was pretty obvious about my intentions and she didn't share them, so…"

He trailed off and shrugged.

"She's an idiot if she doesn't feel the same."

She almost whispered and he chuckled sadly.

"Not the first time a relationship's ended up this way for me. Besides, I could say the same thing about Lucas."

He downed the last of his beer and motioned to hers.

"Another?"

She nodded and he headed back to the bar, returning with two more beers and two shots of whiskey. She grinned and took hers, both of them downing their shots as he sat back down beside her.

"Why do you suppose you and me didn't recouple?"

She leaned her head on his shoulder as she asked. It was a good question, though he'd gone over his time in the Villa many times and knew exactly why, at least from his point of view.

"Well, after Priya picked me, you kinda didn't look back. You were cracking on with the other guys. Then Lucas came in… everyone could see straight away you were into each other. At that stage I thought me and Priya were going somewhere."

He kept his eyes fixed on his beer bottle as he slowly turned it around in his hands.

"It's stupid, you know. You're the only person who doesn't seem any different to me out here than in there. You've seemed a little down maybe, but you're still Bobby."

Her arm wrapped around his shoulders as she spoke and she tilted her head to look up at him.

"Did you want to recouple with me again after Priya?"

He moved away from her just slightly at her question and cleared his throat nervously. It was an uncomfortable question with an uncomfortable answer. She was with Lucas, who was a good guy. And he didn't want to have to hear another friend zone speech from the only other girl in the Villa who had caught his interest. He already knew he was there, he didn't need it spelled out for him.

"I mean, yeah. I had a bit of a thing for you pretty much the whole time. I got the hint right from the start that I wasn't what you were looking for, though."

She stayed quiet for a long while, until he shifted nervously and got his feet.

"I need another drink."

Ordering them another beer and another shot each, he returned to find her watching him with a concerned expression.

"I didn't realise you still liked me."

She murmured, and he sighed. He was done with the conversation, he didn't want to keep rehashing all the mistakes he'd made and all the unreciprocated feelings he'd stupidly had for people.

"Look, it is what it is. I struggle to go beyond friendship with anyone, and you all knew that."

"What about now?"

"What about now, what?"

"Do you still like me now?"

He huffed in exasperation and downed his shot, slamming the glass back down on the table.

"Doesn't really matter now, does it?"

She scooted closer to him, her knee coming to rest on his thigh when she turned on the seat to face him. He was keenly aware of how close she now was and he stared awkwardly at the row of empty shot glasses on the table. He felt her breath on his ear before her lips ghosted over his cheek, sending a shiver down his spine.

"It matters to me."

He turned to look at her but didn't get a chance to reply before she pressed her lips to his. Surprised, he didn't respond at first. But whether due to the rapidly consumed alcohol or just plain frustration over his situation, he found himself pulling her back towards him as she started to move away.

He felt her tongue in his mouth and groaned, matching it's movements with his own as he gripped her waist. He snapped out of his haze when he felt her move to climb into his lap and he broke the kiss, holding her back off of him.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

He hissed, trying not to draw attention from anyone around them. She stared at him wide eyed, her fingertips tracing her lips.

"Shit, Bobby. I'm so sorry."

He still had hold of her waist and one of her hands was resting lightly on his bicep. They stared at each other and her eyes portrayed everything that he was feeling himself.

They had both fucked up in the Villa when they gave up on each other, they both left the show with the wrong people. He desperately wanted to kiss her again, and let her climb on top of him and feel her against him the way he never did with Priya when he tried to kiss her.

"We can't do this."

He willed himself to let go of her as he said it, but his arms wouldn't cooperate.

"I know."

Even as she agreed with him, one of his hands slid up her side from her waist, coming to rest on the back of her neck. He pulled her face towards his and kissed her again, more deliberately this time. _Please, stop me_ he begged her in his head, but instead she slid onto his lap, her torso pressed hard against his by the table now behind her as she deepened the kiss.

His head was swimming and his hands roamed over her sides and back as she rolled her hips against him. He couldn't lie, it felt so good having someone want him as much as he wanted her. He almost whined when she pulled away and rested her forehead against his, breathing heavily.

"We should get out of here."

She whispered before moving off of him and getting to her feet, holding a hand out to him. He took her hand and followed suit, but shook his head.

"No, we shouldn't."

"Do you _want_ to get out of here?"

"Fuck yes."

That was all the confirmation she needed and she smiled at him as she tugged on his hand and led him out of the bar.

He wasn't entirely sure what he was doing as they walked back to the motel together, and neither of them knew what to say. They walked close together, his arm slung around her shoulders and hers wrapped around his waist, and it just felt so _right_.

He kept waiting for her to change her mind, but she didn't and he allowed himself to get his hopes up ever so slightly, consciously pushing any thoughts of Lucas out of his head. It wasn't like him to do something like this. He'd had it done to him before and he knew how it felt. But her body being pressed against his and the way it felt when she'd kissed him did something to him.

He felt like he was exactly where he was supposed to be, with exactly who he was supposed to be with, and he selfishly justified it to himself for the time being by reminding himself that he had her first. If Priya hadn't coupled up with him, he'd probably have gone to the end with her. She was _supposed_ to be his all this time, and he was simply allowing himself a night of what was rightfully his. All he wanted was to know what it was like to be with her, to know if he had actually missed out on something or if it was for the best that they'd wound up apart.

They rode the lift up to their floor in silence, and Bobby carefully peeked out into the hallway before they exited. He wasn't sure what he expected at almost 1am, but he wanted to be certain Lucas hadn't woken up to find her gone and wasn't wandering the halls looking for her.

She stood behind him as he pulled the access card for his room out of his back pocket and swiped it, and she pressed a kiss to his shoulder as he pushed the door open.

He gripped her hand and pulled her into his room. One of his arms wrapped around her while he pushed the door shut with the other and he kissed her again once he heard the latch close.

They were alone, in his room, and she still hadn't stopped him. They were actually doing this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Thoughts, feelings, concerns? Good or bad, you can find me on Reddit u/ffkatbee and my inbox is always open!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** Smut in this chapter, 18+ only.

He kissed her slowly and deeply, and started walking her backwards until he had her against the wall next to the door.

"I don't want to cheat on Lucas…"

She interrupted weakly as his lips moved away from hers to kiss a trail along her jawline to her neck. Apparently what they were doing had finally clicked for her. His mind screamed at him to stop at that. He knew it wasn't right, he knew he'd feel like shit about it later, but his rational mind seemed disconnected from the rest of his body, which was focused entirely on wanting her.

His mouth worked against her neck, one hand moved to pin her wrists above her head while the other pushed her by the waist firmly against the wall and held her there. His cock grew harder with every second he had her against him and his hips slowly ground against hers. All completely without permission from his brain. All disconnected from each other and from his rational consciousness but all working toward the same goal. To have her moaning _his_ name when _he_ made her cum.

A primal and completely uncharacteristic part of him seemed to have woken up, and he became desperate to prove he was more than Lucas. That he was better, he could make her feel things that Lucas couldn't, he could satisfy her more completely. Whether he wanted to prove it to her or to himself, he still hadn't worked out.

"Bit late for that, love."

He growled in her ear. His hand dropped from her waist down to her thigh, and he leaned heavier against her as he pushed her dress up to her waist and lifted her leg to wrap it around his hips. She moaned as he grinded into her again, but then snapped her eyes open and looked at him pleadingly.

"Bobby, please. I can't sleep with you."

He pulled back a little and searched her eyes. It was as though she needed him to stop because she knew she couldn't. A devilish thought crossed his mind and he smirked at her.

"No sex, then?"

He couldn't deny that he was loving having someone want him so badly that they couldn't resist him. She eventually shook her head, so slightly that he barely saw it.

"You got it."

He released her hands and ran both of his down her body as he got on his knees in front of her. He adjusted her leg to hook over his shoulder, pressing light kisses to the inside of her thigh.

"Bobby…"

She whispered, her voice shaking. He nipped at the skin at the top of her thigh and glanced up at her.

"This isn't sex."

One hand pushed on her thigh to open her legs up more for him while the other slid under the fabric of her pants and pushed the obstruction to the side. She started to object but cut herself short when his tongue darted out to flick against her clit. He delighted in the feeling of her leg trembling under his hand, knowing _he_ had done that to her. But then, for a split second, his reasonable side kicked in and he pulled away to look up at her.

"But if this isn't ok…"

He trailed off and waited, giving her the opportunity to stop him. His hand lightly massaged her thigh without him even realising and her chest heaved as she looked down at him with dark eyes.

She didn't reply, but moved her leg back down to the floor and Bobby sighed involuntarily as he rocked back onto his heels to stand. Before he could, she placed a hand on his shoulder to keep him where he was, hooking her other hand into the waistband of her underwear and slipping them down her legs.

"It's more than ok, Bobby. You're all I want right now."

His cock twitched in his constricting jeans and he grabbed her leg roughly and returned it to his shoulder. He didn't even care anymore that he wasn't going to get to fuck her. He was going to get to taste her, and he was going to get to prove to her and reaffirm to himself that he was more than friendship material.

Satisfied that he'd given her a chance to back out and she'd chosen not to, he ran his tongue slowly up her slit before working it in slow circles around her sensitive bud. Her hips jerked and he pressed his hand against the skin below her belly button to keep her still against the wall for him as he continued his teasing assault.

He alternated from circling his tongue to flicking it against her, from feather light pressure to something much harder. Everytime he heard her breath start to hitch he'd switch it up. He had one of her legs still hooked over his shoulder, his hand was still pressing her firmly to the wall, and she writhed and strained against him, whining in frustration and trying to use her leg to force his head harder against her everytime he denied her climax.

"Jesus- fuck- Bobby, please, let me come."

She stuttered out brokenly and he couldn't contain the low moan that vibrated through her centre. She was so desperate, and _he_ had made her that way. _He_ had made her beg for _him_.

He finally moved his hand from her stomach, allowing her to move as he slid two fingers inside of her and curled them, moving his tongue in small, controlled movements directly over her clit. She gasped loudly, and it was too much. The sounds of her whimpers and moans, the way she clenched around his fingers and sucked them further inside of her, and how damn wet she was, her juices running down his chin as he licked her and fucked her with his fingers.

He knew she didn't want to have sex with him, but he needed _something_ , he was so hard it was beginning to hurt. As she let out a loud moan and bucked her hips forward into his face, he moved his free hand down his own body, deftly undoing his jeans and shoving them and his boxers down to his thighs. He pulled away from her long enough to spit in his hand, then reached down to grip his length.

"That's- shit… oh God…"

She moaned, unable to get a full sentence out as she rocked her hips into his hand, bringing a hand down onto his head and ripping his beanie off to thread her fingers into his dreads. He groaned and pumped himself a little faster when he felt her beginning to tense up yet again, her short breaths coming out as whimpers. He wickedly considered backing off again, just to see how much of it she could take.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck. Bobby, please, shit-"

She stammered in a high pitched whisper, and Bobby grinned against her but kept going. It's like she'd read his mind. He tightened his grip on himself, eliciting a moan of his own, when she suddenly clamped down on his fingers so hard it almost hurt, and he struggled to stop himself from coming with her as he imagined what that pressure would feel like on his dick. But he let go of himself, reaching up to hold her hand as she was frantically trying to find purchase on something. Her hips rolled against his hand as he kept his fingers moving inside of her but slowed the actions of his tongue, wanting to draw out her orgasm but not push it to overstimulation. She gripped his hand tightly with one of hers, the other was on the back of his head as she moved him where she needed him while she rode out her high.

Eventually her movements slowed, then came to a stop. He slowly pulled his fingers out of her and sat back on his feet, looking up at her with a cheeky smirk as he sucked them clean. She let out a breathy laugh, moved her leg off of him and sank down to sit on the floor in front of him.

"My legs feel like jelly."

She commented with a shy laugh. He grinned at her.

"You're welcome."

He wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt and kneeled up onto his knees to pull his pants back up, but her hands caught his to stop him.

"You need some help with that?"

She asked suggestively.

"Getting dressed? Nah, I'm a big boy, I can manage."

She rolled her eyes and despite the blush on her cheeks she gripped his cock tightly and gave it one slow pump, and he felt it twitch in her hand, eager for the attention.

"It's fine, really."

He reassured her with a smile, placing his hand over hers to move it. Instead she squeezed slightly and started stroking him again. He swallowed hard and looked down, watching both their hands with fingers entwined jerking him off. He let out a small sigh and leaned forward to rest his forehead against hers as he kept his eyes on their hands.

"I've never had a guy do that."

She admitted quietly as he moved his hand off of hers and to the back of her neck. He held back a moan to answer her as her pace quickened.

"Do what?"

"Touch himself in front of me. While… doing that. It was hot."

Bobby shrugged, struggling to keep his cool while her hand worked him and she began twisting her wrist at the end of every upstroke.

"Being between your legs was hot."

He answered in a low, raspy voice that made her look up at him. He stared back at her, forcing himself to keep his eyes open and not get too wrapped up in what her hand was doing.

"Sit back."

She instructed softly and he complied, watching her shuffle closer and lean down between his legs.

"Fucking hell…"

He breathed out as she took him in her mouth and he used all of his remaining strength to keep himself from thrusting up into her mouth. He held his weight with one arm behind him and brought his other hand to the back of her head, tangling his fingers in her hair as he moved her head at the pace he wanted. She moaned around him as he took control of her again and the vibrations made him roll his head back and shut his eyes.

He wanted so badly to push her head roughly all the way down on his cock until she gagged on it, but he forced himself to be gentle. He knew exactly what he wanted, but he still wasn't sure what she'd be ok with.

"Fuck Harper. You're gonna make me come already."

She glanced up at him as he watched her and had to tighten his fists to stop from blowing his load in the back of her throat right then. Her darkened eyes, the way her mouth looked wrapped around his length and his shaft shining with her spit; it was all so _fucking hot_. He saw a smile in her eyes before she deep throated him and he let out a loud moan as he hit the back of her throat. He tugged at her hair.

"Harp- I'm serious, you're- I'm- fuck!"

She deep throated him again, this time dragging her teeth on the way back up and moving one of her hands to squeeze his balls. He tried to keep control of himself but failed and lost it completely. He held her hair tightly and slammed her face down onto him at the same time as his hips bucked up into her and he released into her mouth.

He was a combination of relieved, surprised and so turned on when she took it, her hand slowly and gently rolling his balls while she continued to work his cock with her mouth, tightening her lips around it and literally sucking the cum out of him. She allowed him to keep pushing and lifting her head until he was finished and he let go of her, flopping backwards to lay flat on the floor.

"Jesus, Harper."

His body was still trembling when he glanced up at her to see her wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and grinning at him proudly.

"You're welcome."

She was silent for a long moment, studying his face and making him let out a self conscious laugh as he got to his feet to dress himself.

"What?"

"What, what?"

"You're looking at me weird."

She shrugged and stood beside him. She retrieved her underwear from the floor and fixed her dress back down in place.

"That… was not what I expected."

He stared at her as he buttoned his jeans.

"I dunno what you expected then when I got on my knees for you."

He shot her an amused smirk.

"I mean, _you_ were not what I expected."

"Yeah I know what you meant."

He answered, a hint of bitterness in his voice. It was just like Priya had told him. Nobody sees him like that. They stood together in a suddenly awkward silence for a while before Harper finally sighed.

"Bobby, you know, that-"

"Never happened?"

He finished for her, his stomach churning into knots. The reminder that she was not, in fact, his hit him like a ton of bricks and he felt like an idiot for letting himself forget for a while and getting so wrapped up in her.

"No! I don't want to pretend like it didn't happen! I just, it has to stay between us."

He looked at her in surprise.

"And it can't happen again."

She added firmly, and he gave a tight nod. He knew it was selfish of him, but he already wanted more of her. In the back of his mind he'd been hoping that once he got a fix, his attraction to her would fade. If anything, it had made him want her more. And he didn't have a clue how he was supposed to deal with these new feelings, knowing that she was already someone else's.

She stepped toward and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He ached to grab her and kiss her properly but he held himself back.

"I have to get back."

Back to Lucas. Back to the man who was moving his entire life to be closer to her. Back to the man who actually, officially had her.

"I know. I'll see you later, Harps."

He smiled, refusing to show her how much it stung that she was leaving right away. She gave him one last glance before turning away and stepping out into the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Thoughts, feelings, concerns? Good or bad, you can find me on Reddit u/ffkatbee and my inbox is always open!


	6. Chapter 6

Bobby growled at his alarm, reaching over and furiously swiping the screen of his phone until it silenced. He opened his eyes and blearily looked around the room, his head pounding. For a moment he was confused by it, he hadn't that much to drink. Then out of nowhere memories of the night before came flooding back, making his head throb even more.

He'd hooked up with someone else's girlfriend.

"Fuck."

He muttered to himself as he dragged himself out of bed and to the bathroom. Staring into the mirror, he discovered that he looked as bad as he felt. His face was pale and drawn, dark circles surrounded his eyes and, above all, he looked guilty. He _felt_ guilty, and so he should.

He'd let temptation get the better of him and now he felt like crap about it, as he knew he would. He was tempted to march his way down the hall and confess everything to Lucas. He could at least come clean and give the guy a heads up as to what was happening. His girl was clearly not 100% happy with him. But he couldn't do that to Harper; throw her under the bus like that just to make himself feel better.

He also wanted to talk to her. He wanted to know if she regretted what she'd done, but he wasn't sure which answer he'd prefer. On one hand, he didn't know how he'd feel if she'd regretted it. Regretted _him_. But on the other hand, what kind of a person wouldn't feel like shit for what they'd done?

More than both of those things though, he wanted to go back to bed, pull the covers over his head, and avoid everyone for the rest of his life. Or at least until his flight back to Glasgow. How was he supposed to stand being around Lucas? How was he supposed to keep his cool, watching the two of them all over each other? Knowing that not even 12 hours ago his fingers had been inside of her and her lips had been wrapped around him.

What was he supposed to do with these new feelings he had? He'd had a crush on Harper throughout Love Island, but it had only been small and he'd been able to ignore it. He figured sleeping with her - or getting close to it - would satisfy his subtle craving for her and he could move on. But now the tiny, subtle crush was an all consuming addiction and he couldn't shake the thought of her - or more to the point, the way she made him feel - from his mind.

A reminder sounded from his phone about the interview this morning. With a heavy sigh he set about getting ready for the day ahead, hoping that a hot shower would wash away the feeling of her that still lingered all over his body. It didn't work, and he grumbled under his breath all the way out of his room and toward the lift.

"Jesus, you look like shit, mate. You alright?"

Bobby looked up at the sound of the voice and stopped himself right before he walked straight into Gary.

"Yeah, just couldn't sleep. Unfamiliar place and all."

He plastered his usual smile across his face as he answered, ignoring the concerned look in the other man's eyes. He froze when another voice spoke up from behind him, accompanied by two sets of footsteps.

"We had trouble sleeping last night, too."

Lucas.

He spun around and winced before he could stop himself when his eyes landed on Lucas' arm wrapped around Harper's shoulders.

"You did? Both of you?"

He hoped he sounded casual but couldn't stop his eyes from darting over to Harper, who looked the same as she always did.

"Well, Harper mostly."

Lucas corrected, and Bobby risked a longer look at the woman beside him. She was looking at Lucas fondly as he spoke, then shifted her gaze to Bobby and gave him a friendly smile.

"Morning, Bobs. Ready for your adoring fans?"

"Always ready for adoration."

He responded to her as though on autopilot, without really registering that he'd spoken to her. How was she so calm? How could she look him in the eye and speak to him so casually, with Lucas right there beside her?

There were only two explanations, he decided. Either his occasional wet dreams had taken a drastic and intense turn and his brain was having difficulty differentiating between dreams and real life, or he'd gone insane overnight.

He stepped into the lift with the rest of the group in a daze, and had to force himself out of it when he'd been squashed in between Harper and Priya on a couch once they arrived at the magazine's office for their interview.

\--

A slender hand gripped his elbow as he stalked through the sliding glass doors of the office building, eager to escape. He spun around, fully expecting to see Harper standing there.

"Oh, so now-"

He stopped short when his narrowed eyes focused on Priya instead. He cleared his throat.

"Oh. Hey."

"Are you ok, Bobby?"

Her hand still held onto his arm as though she thought he'd run away if she let go. She probably wasn't wrong, to be fair.

"Yep."

Her eyes, full of concern, searched his for a long while.

"No you're not."

"Do you care?"

She sighed and let go of him.

"Of course I care. Just because I don't have romantic interest in you doesn't mean I don't give a shit at all."

"Uh huh. Well I'm fine, thanks."

He tried to turn back away from her but her hand shot out to grab his arm again.

"No. You're not. Gary sees it, too."

So he hadn't managed to act casual at all. At least not enough to fool the two people who'd spent the most time with him out of anyone in the Villa.

"Ok, no I'm not then. Can I go?"

"Sure. Where are we going?"

"I don't know where _you're_ going, but _I'm_ going for a drink."

Priya raised an eyebrow at him, and he couldn't blame her. It wasn't even lunch time yet. But she quickly erased the skeptical expression and replaced it with a smile.

"Sounds good, I need one after all that. I hate all these interviews. I'm always so awkward."

She chatted away beside him as he walked, following the map on his phone back to the motel. From there he knew his way to the bar he'd been at last night. He reasoned that if indeed he found a bar where he thought there'd be one, it would be proof that last night happened. What he'd do after that he wasn't sure.

It took longer than he thought to get there, almost an hour, and he found himself already feeling better as he paused momentarily at the door of the bar. Even after all that had happened, Priya still knew how to talk to him to cheer him up without pushing for details. Having her stick by his side for the whole walk even though he was being impossible made his heart ache over the knowledge that there'd never be anything more between them. He'd been so focused on Harper's nonchalance that he'd almost forgotten his feelings for Priya. But now that they were alone together for the first time in weeks and she was patiently waiting out his tantrum like she had a few times in the Villa, they all came crashing back.

"How'd you find this place?"

Priya looked around with interest as they slid into opposite sides of the booth he and Harper had claimed the night before.

He definitely hadn't dreamt it.

"Me and- ah, I came here last night when I couldn't sleep."

She definitely noticed his slip up, but she stayed quiet. They sat in increasingly comfortable silence for what felt like hours, and Bobby was deeply grateful for her ability to shut up when it was required.

"I did something stupid last night."

He finally admitted, lifting his eyes to meet hers.

"Stupider than usual? Wow."

She commented playfully, and he raised his middle finger at her across the table.

"Much stupider than usual."

"With Harper?"

He stared at her in silence, surprised by her perception. She grinned at his reaction.

"Call it a woman's intuition. Something was a little off with you two the night of the final. Today again, too. You still have a thing for her, right?"

He bit back the urge to joke that he'd had a 'thing for her' last night and just nodded.

"Did you sleep with her?"

Again he didn't answer, just shook his head.

"So, what then?"

"We did… other stuff."

He replied shortly, hoping she'd get it without needing a play by play. She nodded thoughtfully.

"You know Lucas is moving to Leeds for her? Like, they're a real thing. A real couple."

"Yeah, I know. Thanks for reminding me."

"So is she breaking up with him now or something?"

"I don't even know! She told me to keep it to myself, told me it wouldn't happen again, and went back to her room, to _him_ , straight after. Then she's barely spoken to me today, and she's been all over him."

"Well I guess that's a no to them breaking up, then."

She sighed and reached a hand across the table, resting it on his forearm.

"What have you done, Bobby?"

"Something stupid, I told you already."

He joked weakly and she smiled sadly at him.

"You might not want to hear this from me, but here it is. You deserve more than to be someone's dirty little secret. If she wants to act like it didn't happen and just carry on with him, then I say try to do the same. Chalk it up as an experience, and move on."

He nodded, chewing his lip thoughtfully before the corner of his lip quirked up into a half smile.

"Don't suppose you'd be down for some bits to help me forget?"

He grinned at her as she laughed and slapped his arm lightly.

"You're not a casual bits kinda guy, Bobby. I can tell. Plus, you couldn't handle me, sweetheart."

She poked her tongue out at him before sliding out of the booth and waiting for him.

"I reckon I'd surprise you, _sweetheart_."

He mocked in response as he followed her out of the bar.

\--

"Oh my God, can we just go?"

Bobby grumbled to himself, sitting in the stationary car. He ignored the dirty look the driver gave him from where he stood on the other side of the open car door, well aware that he was acting like an impatient toddler. He rolled his eyes when he saw Harper step through the hotel doors with her luggage.

"Of. Fucking. Course."

They'd been happy to share a ride to the motel, it made sense that the drivers assumed they'd be happy to share again, he supposed. He watched her slide into the backseat beside him and raised an eyebrow at her.

"Hey, Bobby."

Really? Hey, Bobby?

"Hey."

He answered bluntly, remembering Priya's advice. If she was going to erase last night, then so would he. She finally spoke when the car pulled out onto the road.

"You disappeared after the interview."

"I did. I went back to the bar. With Priya."

He watched a small flush of pink come across her cheeks. Finally. A reaction. She didn't say anything for a while, and she refused to look at him. He gave up on getting anything more than a blush out of her and turned to watch out of his window with a sigh. They were almost halfway to the airport before she finally spoke, so quietly he barely heard it.

"I'm sorry, Bobby."

"For what?"

"Last night."

He turned back towards her, studying her face. She still wasn't looking at him, her eyes cast down to her hands in her lap, folded together so tightly her knuckles were turning white. He couldn't decide if he was angry with her, or sad for her, or both.

"I'm not."

Finally she looked up at him.

"You're not?"

"I mean, I am. But I'm not. I'm not sorry about what we did. I'm sorry we did that to Lucas and I'm sorry I put you in a difficult position. I'm sorry I didn't try to convince you to stay for a while, after. I'm not sorry I got the chance to be with you, though. But I'm mostly sorry that you're sorry. I don't think I've ever been a regret before. It kinda blows."

It was his turn to stare down into his lap, drumming his hands on his knees nervously. He wasn't sure what had compelled him to suddenly spill his guts like that. He'd just wanted to let her know that she wasn't alone in feeling conflicted.

It took him a second to register what was happening and respond when she suddenly leaned across the seat and kissed him. He felt himself slipping into the moment again and pushed her away roughly before he lost himself completely.

"You said it can't happen again."

His eyes darted toward the front window of the car and he saw that they were approaching the airport.

"Go home, Harper. Go home and get ready for Lucas."

He paused to pick his bag up off the floor of the car as they pulled into a drop off parking space.

"If I can't have all of you, I don't want any of you."

He added a little harsher than he meant to. The driver opened the door and Bobby stepped out without looking at her again. If he looked at her, his resolve would crack, and he wasn't sure if he'd be able to handle whatever their relationship would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Thoughts, feelings, concerns? Good or bad, you can find me on Reddit u/ffkatbee and my inbox is always open!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** Smut in this chapter, 18+ only.

"Mate, you what?!"

Jon almost spat his beer out across the table. Bobby didn't bother answering. He was sat leaning back in his seat at his dining table, his arms folded across his abdomen as he watched Jonno's reaction. The other man got over his shock and grinned at Bobby.

"Ya lucky fuck."

"Lucky? You must not of been paying attention, lad."

Jon paused with a sly smile on his face.

"So how was it?"

"You mean, apart from feeling like a right cunt for going behind another bloke's back?"

"Yeah, yeah. Apart from that."

Jonno waved a hand dismissively and Bobby smiled despite himself.

"It was good."

"Good?"

"Yeah. Good."

His friend eyed him suspiciously.

"Alright. Keep your secrets then. So what happens now?"

Bobby shrugged.

"Nothing. She doesn't want it to happen again. I probably won't see her anymore."

Jonno's smirk disappeared and his playful expression softened.

"Mate, she aren't worth it if she don't see what she's missing out on."

He reached over the table and clapped Bobby on the shoulder with a huge hand before getting to his feet.

"We'll see you at the local tonight."

He said, rather than asked, before gathering his keys and phone off of the table and leaving Bobby's apartment.

The last thing Bobby wanted was to go out to a noisy bar, he'd not slept yet since he'd returned home from London the day before. Last night had been a nightmare, he'd spent hours going from wanting to text Harper, to wanting to delete her number from his phone and all traces of her from social.

She was very active on social media, having added him and every other islander to every platform she shared with them pretty much the day she left the villa and got her phone back. Since the London trip, she'd already posted several Facebook updates, Lucas featuring heavily in every one of them. That was how he knew that her boyfriend had been approved for a rental two streets away from her, and would be moving to Leeds in 11 days. The last post he saw before unfollowing her was a couples selfie she'd taken in London. Her and Lucas cuddled up together in bed in their motel room, kissing. He hadn't been able to take his eyes off of it for a long while, and eventually wondered if he'd get away with reporting it as offensive material.

He was almost scared by the sadistic thoughts that entered his mind when he looked at that picture. Did she already have an idea that she was going to be with Bobby later that same night? Would he look so blissed out if he knew that the mouth pressed against his would later be filled with another guy's cock? Part of him enjoyed being part of a secret which, if revealed, would turn the other man's life upside down. Enjoyed the memories of her sinfully moaning his name, knowing that she'd chosen _him_ in that moment instead of a guy better looking, taller, richer, more successful in general. But a bigger part of him was horrified, and even more horrified by the other part of himself. She made him feel as though there was a whole different side to his personality, and he was torn between wanting to embrace it and wanting to banish it forever.

Maybe a drink with the lads would do him good, after all.

\--

Bobby was several drinks ahead of where he'd been in a long while, and was feeling significantly more like himself for it. Jonno had thankfully kept his mouth shut, meaning Bobby hadn't had to field any questions about him and Harper. People were still curious about Priya, but seemed to have gotten the hint that there was nothing new happening there, nor was there likely to be.

He was on his way back from the bathroom when he saw her, and the sight made a lead weight settle heavily in the pit of his stomach. She had her back to him, but the waist length, honey blonde hair was enough to get his mind racing. He made his way carefully over to her, inching around just slightly to catch a glimpse of her face. It wasn't Harper, obviously, but she was attractive enough. Attractive enough for what, Bobby didn't know, but it seemed the sight of her had kicked the sick part of his brain into gear and it was that part which was now calling the shots. He leaned in close, his friends on the other side of the room forgotten.

"Hey."

She startled a little and glared at him, before her eyes widened in recognition. Maybe the fame that came with his failure of a summer would be good for something at least.

"Oh em gee, hi!"

She almost squealed, and he had to consciously work at not cringing at the sound of her voice.

"How you doin'?"

He shuffled even closer to her, snaking his arm around her shoulders. He'd never been this up front with a girl before, and he wondered if he should message Harper and thank her for waking up this part of him. The girl grinned at him in delight.

"Like, so much better now that Bobby McKenzie's just totally come up to say hi."

This girl was like Chelsea on speed. Nevertheless he leaned in to whisper in her ear.

"I've got more in mind than just saying hi. What's your name, beautiful?"

He just about felt her shudder and weaken at the knees before she turned to face him properly.

"Jessie."

Maybe it was the alcohol, but Bobby felt invincible. First he'd scored a night with Harper, now he'd managed to pull a random at a bar. It seemed his friend zone days were coming to an end.

"What say we get out of here so I can really make your night, Jessie?"

He murmured in her ear, and faltered when she smiled and grabbed his hand to lead him out of the bar. No. Fucking. Way. No way was it gonna be that easy. He heard his friends cheering from their table and turned to grin at them, giving them a thumbs up on his way past. Only Jonno wasn't smiling, instead watching him with a worried expression.

\--

She'd led him to a block of flats a few streets away, and his thoughts were hazy and confusing. One half was telling him to quit being a moron, the other half was encouraging it. She led him to a door on the first floor, slumped back against it and pulled him to her, planting a messy kiss on his lips. He had barely kissed her back before she pulled away and turned to unlock her door, and his eyes moved from her ass up to her hair, in a daze.

A switch flipped inside of him and it was like he was back in the motel room with Harper again. He no longer had control of himself as he pressed his body against hers from behind, moving her hair out of the way to bite down lightly on her neck. She giggled and pushed her door open, and his hands remained fixed on her hips as he followed her in. He kicked the door shut behind him and moved to whisper in her ear.

"Bedroom?"

She took his hands in hers, holding them behind her back as she walked quietly down the hall and into a bedroom.

"You gotta be quiet, my roommate's asleep."

She whispered, closing the door quietly behind them. She flung herself at him eagerly once the door was shut and he stumbled backwards on her bed. The alcohol he'd consumed had left his reaction time lacking. He gripped her hips again and pulled her down to straddle him, digging his fingers in as he pressed his lips to her neck, biting and sucking at the sensitive skin. She pulled away and brushed her lips against his, and suddenly the thought of kissing her repulsed him. He dodged it by flipping her over so that he was on top of her and sitting up to unbuckle his belt.

She either didn't care about him avoiding her, or didn't notice as she grinned up at him, lifting her hips to push down her denim skirt, revealing no underwear. A low growl sounded from the back of his throat when she reached down to stroke him, and he realised he wasn't even hard yet. His thoughts flitted back to his night with Harper, and how his body had started reacting after she had only kissed him. He didn't understand why it wasn't happening now, or why he wasn't embarrassed about it.

Jessie carefully slid her legs out from under him and pushed him onto his back, then began kissing her way down his body over his shirt. He squirmed awkwardly when he felt her mouth envelop him, but forced himself to relax. He shut his eyes and tried to focus on the feeling of her mouth on him.

As much as he tried to fight it, his thoughts drifted back to the motel again, and how _her_ mouth had felt. He let out a loud groan without realising it as he remembered hitting the back of her throat, and then was snapped back to reality when Jessie stopped what she was doing.

"I said, you gotta be quiet!"

She hushed him with a giggly whisper. Without answering, he grabbed onto a fistful of her hair and guided her back onto him, suddenly desperate to do what he'd been too scared to do with Harper. His consciousness was stuck somewhere between fantasy and reality, knowing that the person he was with was a stranger yet still entertaining images of one of the girls he was closest with in the world.

He hadn't even realised he was getting close until he forced her face down onto him especially hard and a shudder ran through his body. He roughly pulled her off of his dick and pushed her down onto her back, moving to position himself between her legs but then realising he didn't want to look at her.

"Turn over."

He rasped, and she obliged while he fished a condom out of his wallet in the pocket of his jeans. His eyes ran over her body, on all fours, ready and waiting for him, as he rolled the condom over his length. His breath caught in his throat when the sensation threw him the image of his and Harper's hands simultaneously stroking him, and then a wave of anger crashed over him.

He pulled Jessie back and onto him roughly, not giving her any time to adjust before he set a fast, deep pace. He left one hand on her hip to pull her back against him with every thrust, while the other trailed up her back and made a fist in her hair again, pulling it just hard enough to make her arch for him.

His eyes fell closed and he tried to force Harper out of his mind. He kept his brutal pace, barely connected to what was happening, barely hearing Jessie's moans. He didn't even know how long he'd been fucking her when he felt heat starting to spread from his stomach. Normally one of this favourite feelings, even when brought on by himself, now he hated it. It felt painful and wrong and sick and he wanted to stop before he finished and put an end to it.

By the time he was present enough to realise though, it was too late and he let out a strangled moan as his hips bucked and he emptied himself into the condom. He didn't even know if Jessie had come, but he pulled out immediately, wanting to now be as far away from her as he could get.

She let out a content sigh and rolled on her back to look at him. He glanced at her briefly before turning his attention to removing the condom and fixing himself up.

"You're not staying?"

She asked quietly when he stood to dress himself, and he shook his head.

"I've, um, got an early morning."

"This was fun though, right?"

No. Not in the slightest.

"Sure."

He choked his reply out. She sat up, grabbed a pen from where it sat on top of a notebook on her bedside table and grabbed his hand to write something on it.

"Call me sometime, we can do it again."

He literally felt his stomach churn, but offered her a smile in response.

He got out of there as quickly as he could, and it wasn't until he was back out on the darkened street that he relaxed enough to notice that he had tears in his eyes. What the fuck had he just done? He knew he was confused and hurt and feeling guilty about Harper but he hadn't realised how angry he was. He was angry at Harper and at himself and he'd just taken it out on an innocent girl in the worst way. Now on top of how bad he already felt, he felt dirty and scared. He didn't like knowing this version of himself existed and he didn't like how easily it had been triggered.

\--

Jonno was sitting on the steps leading up to Bobby's apartment building.

"That bad?"

He commented before Bobby had even seen him. He was walking with his head down, hands stuffed deep into the pockets of his jeans. He jumped when Jonno spoke and froze, eyeing his best mate wearily.

"What?"

"Mate, you reek of angry sex all the way over here."

"And you reek of not being able to mind your own fucking business."

"Fair. Gary's been calling you. You left ya phone at the bar."

"Gary?"

"How many fuckin Garys you know?"

Jonno rolled his eyes, and Bobby caught his phone when it was tossed to him.

"Get some sleep, lad. I'll talk to ya tomorrow."

The bigger man nodded a goodnight before walking away into the night. Bobby unlocked his phone as he pushed the building's door open and stepped inside. Sure enough, he'd missed 6 calls from Gary.

Finally making it home, he slumped down on to the couch and kicked his shoes off as he called Gary back. He answered after only a couple of rings, hissing into the phone.

"Bobby! What the fuck?!"

"Hi Gary! I miss you, too."

"Seriously, what the actual fuck man?"

"Maybe if you tell me what the actual fuck you're bleating on about, I can tell you what the actual fuck actually is."

"I've heard some crazy shit, mate."

"It's true. I partook in an alcoholic beverage before midday while in London. Please tell Priya I appreciate her concern, but an intervention is not necessary."

"No? So we should just overlook the fact that you fucked Harper?"

Bobby's blood ran cold.

"I… what?"

"Is it true?"

"No."

"Well that's what she told Lottie."

She was telling people!? Why was she telling people!?

"We, uh… she told Lottie she slept with me?"

"Yep."

"Well, we didn't… have sex. Per sè."

"Oh, cut the crap Bobby!"

"What do you want me to say? Ok, yes, I went down on her and she blew me-"

He blurted before he could stop himself, and he swore he heard a gasp on the other end of the line.

"You know what? I've had a long night so I'm going to bed."

He quickly ended the call and switched his phone off before Gary could ask anymore questions and before he word vomited anymore details about that night.

Why had she mentioned it to Lottie? If she regretted it, why was she even still thinking about it? Why wasn't she putting it behind her and moving on? He groaned and threaded his hands through his dreads, his head starting to pound. She'd already spun his life and everything he thought he knew about himself out of control, and now he was going to be getting questions and more judgement about it from even more people.

What the fuck had she done to him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Thoughts, feelings, concerns? Good or bad, you can find me on Reddit u/ffkatbee and my inbox is always open!


	8. Chapter 8

Bobby's fingertips drummed nervously on his bare stomach as he lay in bed. It was 10am already, but he just couldn't face the day. It's Saturday, he reasoned with himself. He was on night shift this week so he didn't need to go in to work until much later. Why shouldn't he have a lie in? It was nothing to do with the mild hangover he was suffering, or the shame he felt over his behaviour the night before. Or the fact that now Gary and _fucking Lottie_ knew what had happened between him and Harper. No, it was none of that. It was perfectly normal for a guy to have a lie in when he's got nothing to do. Except that it wasn't. Not for him.

How long now until Lucas found out? How long until he made the trip to Glasgow to bang on Bobby's door and punch him right in his stupid face? Or worse; what if he'd show up crying? What if he'd be down and hurt and heartbroken? Bobby was sure he'd rather a beating. He didn't know if he could handle knowing that he'd broken someone.

He picked up his phone, turning it over in his hands. Should he call Jonno or Gary? Or Priya? Maybe Lottie? She'd rip his head off right through the phone, he was sure of it. She was a great mate, but he was low-key terrified of her.

He dropped his phone when it buzzed in his hands and tried to catch it before it fell on to the floor. He stared at the screen wide eyed. Harper was calling him. And he'd accidentally accepted the call in his attempt to catch the phone. He slowly held it to his ear, subconsciously holding his breath.

"Bobby, are you ok?"

He heard her voice, and it somehow filled him with joy and dread all at once. He was about to respond when he heard another voice. Lucas' voice.

"What's he doing?"

"Are you there, Bobby? You're on speaker with me and Lucas."

Fan-fucking-tastic.

"Hey, guys."

"How are you?"

Harper's voice sounded small, and he wondered how awkward this was for her, given how their shared car ride ended.

"Fine."

There was a long silence, and he knew his answer gave away that something was off but he couldn't muster up his usual cheer while on the phone to _both_ of them.

"You sure you're alright?"

Lucas' voice asked, and the guilt was suffocating.

"Yeah mate, I'm right. Big night last night, feeling a little under the weather is all. What's up?"

He worked up a slight chuckle as he responded. None of this was the other man's fault, he was the last person who deserved to suffer through one of Bobby's moods.

"I have a charity event to go to in Glasgow on Monday. We, I, thought you might have the inside edge of where's the best place to stay overnight."

Harper had gone quiet, leaving the two men to speak.

"Just one night? You could stay with me?"

Bobby offered, then facepalmed with his free hand. What the fuck was that? Luckily he didn't think Lucas was the type-

"Really? That'd be great to be honest, one less thing to organise."

Well, fuck. He'd just volunteered himself into a slumber party with the guy he screwed over.

"Um, yeah. It's fine with me."

"Thanks a lot, Bobby. That will give you and Harper a chance to catch up, too. I know you didn't get much of a chance in London."

"She- you're both going to be here?"

"Yes. Well, Harper's not really one for these formal things so usually she'd skip it but I convinced her to join me and pay you a visit."

Bobby's heart sank and he could've burst into tears right there on the phone. How could he have done this to this man?

"Sounds great, I'll text you the address."

He answered weakly and ended the call without even saying goodbye. He sent a quick message off to Lucas with his address and flopped back down into his bed, covering his face with his hands.

Why couldn't he have hooked up with Rocco's partner or something? Rocco would've had it coming, he absolutely would be sleeping around anyway. But he had to fool around with the girlfriend of someone who actually cared. Who was moving across the country to be closer to her, and who was working hard at being a better man for her, and who was trying to be supportive of her friendships and was encouraging her to be alone with another man, despite his own issues with jealousy. Because he trusted her. And he trusted Bobby. And they'd both gone behind his back and made a mockery of his trust. He didn't know anymore which was more overwhelming; the intense feelings he'd developed for Harper, or the guilt eating at him from the inside out.

\--

By the time Monday rolled around, Bobby felt as though he was going to pass out. He checked the time for probably the twentieth time within the hour, and a fresh surge of panic spread through him at the realisation that it was already 5pm, and Lucas and Harper could arrive at any minute. He had been hoping he'd be working when they arrived so that he could get away with spending the bare minimum amount of time with either of them, but upon checking the kitchen roster on Saturday he found that he had Monday off completely and didn't need to be in until mid-afternoon Tuesday. Meaning that he had no reasonable excuse to avoid either of them for the entire time they were there.

There was a knock at his door and his heart leapt into his throat. He wiped sweaty palms on the thighs of his tan chinos and took a deep breath, his eyes darting around the apartment that he'd spent all of Sunday cleaning. He pulled the door open and was met with Lucas' smiling face. He'd normally hug guests, but Lucas wasn't a hugger, he knew this from the villa. Also, Bobby had screwed around with the guy's girlfriend and hugging him didn't feel right. So he stood, somewhat awkwardly, and dragged a grin onto his face.

"Hey!"

"Thanks so much for this, Bobby. It was such a headache trying to find somewhere on such short notice."

"Mi casa es su casa."

Bobby stepped backward and made a sweeping gesture inside with his arm, watching Harper through his peripherals. She was standing behind Lucas, arms crossed over her chest as though she was cold and she looked as uncomfortable as he felt. It had clearly taken a bit of convincing on Lucas' part to get her there. 

Lucas picked both of their bags up and crossed the threshold with Harper following meekly behind. She looked so different and Bobby's heart broke a little looking at her. He'd been so angry about what she'd done to him, that he hadn't even thought about what he'd done to her. He was just as responsible for their night together, maybe even more.

"Are we on the couches?"

Lucas asked from the middle of the living room, looking around curiously. The guy had money, Bobby suddenly realised. His flat was probably far from what he was used to.

"Lucas, Lucas, my dear boy."

Bobby shook his head and tutted, making his way down the hall.

"Nothing but Glasgow's finest for you, good sir."

He opened the door to his second bedroom with a flourish, and Lucas chuckled and set their bags down. Bobby noticed that the other man seemed a lot less uptight than how he'd been in the Villa. Maybe they could've gotten along after all.

"I need to get ready for tonight. You'll keep her entertained for me, Bobby?"

Lucas raised an eyebrow and looked between the two of them, and Bobby almost laughed at the way he'd worded the question. He coughed to cover it and nodded.

"Yes'sir. Bathroom's across the hall, I put out towels if you want to take a shower."

The taller man nodded gratefully and disappeared into the bathroom, while Bobby and Harper headed back to the living room and took a seat. The silence between them was probably the most awkward one Bobby had ever experienced, and he longed to go back a few days to when she was only one of his best mates.

"Have you been ok?"

She finally asked, and he glanced up at her in surprise. He hadn't expected any conversation.

"Yeah. You?"

She shrugged in response.

"I'm sorry I'm here. I tried to get out of it but Lucas thought I'd want to see you. I thought it'd seem suspicious if I put up too much of a fight. I know it's not ideal…"

She trailed off and sighed.

"Hey, I'm always happy to see you, Harps."

He responded genuinely, reaching over the couch to cover her hand with his. She turned her hand and slid her fingers between his, then seemed to realise what she was doing and pulled away.

"Well you don't need to worry about me, I was thinking I'd just have an early night once Lucas leaves. I could use the rest."

That worked for him. As happy as he might have been to see her, he had no idea how to act around her anymore. He didn't want to come across too flirty or friendly and push any boundaries so he supposed it was for the best if they avoided each other.

\--

Bobby spent most of the evening with Lucas, kicking himself for what he'd done even more when he discovered he could actually be a funny guy once his defences came down. They could've been mates, but Bobby knew there was no chance for that anymore. He pointedly looked everywhere but at Harper and Lucas as he kissed her goodbye before leaving for his benefit, and Harper very deliberately ignored him once her boyfriend was out the door. She went to the bedroom, closed the door and Bobby didn't see her again.

He waited until almost 10pm to see if she might re-emerge but gave up and went to bed himself. He didn't know what he'd expected. He didn't think he was waiting for her to be all over him, but he thought she might at least have been up for a bit of a chat. He wanted to ask her about her conversation with Lottie. He wanted to ask what this meant for them now. Would they eventually get back to being friends, or were they done?

He was slowly starting to drift off to sleep when he felt his bed dip. He cracked his eyes open to see Harper sitting cross legged on the other side of the bed. Her hair was loose and messy and she was wearing an old worn white t-shirt that reached part way down her thighs and no shorts as far as he could tell. He wondered if it was Lucas'. Her phone screen illuminated her face as she stared at him.

"What's up? Are you alright?"

"Lucas isn't coming back tonight."

Bobby sat up straight and rubbed at one of his eyes.

"Why?"

"He bumped into one of his roommates from Uni. They went out for a drink after the benefit… he just called me. Drunk. He's staying at his mate's place tonight."

"Alright."

Bobby was unsure why she was telling him this.

"I'm sorry for being a bitch, Bobby."

He glanced over at her and smirked.

"Which time?"

She slapped him lightly on his bare shoulder, but he could see her smiling.

"All the times."

He tapped a finger on his chin, pretending to be in deep thought.

"I graciously accept your apology."

She laughed. An actual, real laugh and he felt himself relax. Maybe all was not lost.

"I'm sorry, too."

They were both quiet for a long moment, but at least it wasn't uncomfortable.

"Why'd you tell Lottie?"

"How do you know I did?"

"Gary told me."

"Gary knows!?"

Bobby shot her an incredulous look.

"As if Lottie's not going to blab to Gary first chance she gets."

"I guess. So why'd you tell Priya?"

"How do you know I did?"

"Priya's my friend."

She answered with a shrug.

"I guess… I was confused. When you just left. And the next day you were acting like nothing had happened. I needed to talk to someone."

"I told Lottie because she's like my confessional. I felt so bad. For you. For Lucas. I had to get it out."

She scooted closer to him and slid her legs under the covers, stretching out beside him with her head resting on the bed head next to his. She tilted her head to look at him.

"You're not a regret, Bobby. I hate that I made you feel like you were. I hope that you can put how I made you feel behind you."

He laughed and shook his head.

"Not much chance of that, lass. I can't get you out of my mind."

He blurted it out before he could stop himself, and fully expected her to get up and go lock herself in the other bedroom again.

"I can't get you out of mine."

They were both quiet for a moment before she spoke again, so quietly that Bobby barely heard her.

"Can I sleep in here tonight?"

He didn't answer right away, but shifted so that he was laying on his side facing her, lifting an arm to invite her to join him.

"'Course you can."

She smiled and turned away from him, snuggling back against him as he wrapped his arm around her.

It wasn't long before he drifted off to sleep,the feel and smell of her hair in his face and the feeling of holding her tightly against him pushing everything else out of his mind. For the first time in a few days, he felt like everything might be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Thoughts, feelings, concerns? Good or bad, you can find me on Reddit u/ffkatbee and my inbox is always open!


	9. Chapter 9

Bobby cracked his eyes open, squinting into the darkness. He guessed it was somewhere around 6am, as usual. He always woke up before sunrise. Panic knotted his stomach up when his eyes focused on Harper laying next to him, still wrapped up in his arms. After a couple of seconds of his mind racing through last night's events, he relaxed when he remembered they'd not done anything.

Like most mornings Bobby had awoken achingly hard, and he shifted awkwardly, trying to move his body away from hers so that she wouldn't wake up to _that_ pressed against her. He shut his eyes and tried to will his arousal away, tried to ignore her hand resting lightly on his waist and her hair brushing against the bottom of his chin. It had just started to work when Harper stirred in her sleep, letting out a soft groan and arching her body up against his as she stretched.

"Morning."

She murmured with her eyes still closed. She wiggled closer against him again and he cleared his throat nervously. There was no way she couldn't feel that.

"Morning."

One of her hands moved in between them and she lightly traced shapes over his chest with her fingertips while his hand roamed over her back lightly. They lay like that in comfortable silence for a long while and Bobby thought she had fallen back to sleep when she spoke again quietly.

"Bobby."

"Harper."

"Can I kiss you?"

His hand froze and he paused, pulling away enough to meet her eyes in the darkness.

"Probably not wise, Harps."

She brushed her lips against his jaw, and he absentmindedly closed his eyes and tilted his head just slightly.

"Definitely not wise."

She whispered, pressing a soft kiss against the side of his neck. He let out a shaky breath and moved his hand to the back of her head, tangling his fingers in her hair. He wasn't sure yet whether he wanted to pull her lips off of him or move them to his.

"Harper…"

He protested quietly when her lips travelled down his neck and along his collarbone.

"Just one kiss."

She insisted. He knew damn well that it wouldn't end at one kiss, and from the way her fingers dug into the skin of his side, he figured she knew it too. But that part of his brain that she'd somehow brought to life, the part that didn't care about anything but her, took him over and he tugged on her hair lightly to make her look up at him.

"I like when you pull my hair."

He growled and pressed his lips against hers, his tongue forcing her lips apart. He kissed her deeply and slowly, so wrapped up in it that he didn't notice her hand travelling down from his chest until it pushed the front of his boxer shorts down out of the way. He groaned, partly from pleasure and partly from frustration as he broke the kiss.

"You said… just one kiss."

He shivered as her fingers wrapped around his semi-erect length, and then reality slammed into him like a freight train, so hard that it almost made him dizzy. He grabbed her wrist and moved her hand away from him.

"We're not doing this again."

He said firmly. At least he hoped he'd said it firmly. She looked at him, disappointment obvious on her face and he forced himself to meet her gaze.

"Really?"

She moved to touch him again but, using every ounce of self control he could muster, he pushed her away once more, this time weaving his arm out from under her and sitting up.

"Yeah, really."

She sat up alongside him, and glanced at him and he saw hurt and anger in her eyes.

"Fine."

She swung her legs out of the bed and got to her feet.

"Come on, don't be mad at me."

He sighed out, running his hands over his dreads.

"Why would I be mad?"

"I don't know, if I'm honest. But you seem mad."

He looked away from her, focusing instead on the tartan pattern of the blanket and tracing the lines with a finger. He could still feel her glaring at him, though.

"I just find it strange that you didn't seem to have a problem with fucking my face in London, but now you're acting like I'm contagious."

She snapped, and his cheeks grew pink both with her tone of voice and the memory.

"I… I didn't have a problem at the time."

"At the time? So, what? Your guilt trip about being a regret was just projection?"

He looked up at her in shock.

"What? No!"

"You were never worried about me regretting you. It's _you_ that regrets _me_."

He stared at her, not knowing how to respond. She was the one in a relationship, she was the one with something to lose. He thought she'd understand why he'd stopped her. He didn't have a chance to say anything before she continued.

"I all but threw myself at you just now, and you're acting like you can't get far enough away from me!"

He laughed a little despite the situation. She narrowed her eyes at him and crossed her arms over her chest.

"I'm glad you're finding this amusing."

"I am. I really am. The whole thing's a right laugh to me. Falling for you too late has been a riot so far."

Her eyes darkened and she looked ready to serve back at him, but he got to his feet on the opposite side of the bed to her.

"No. I'm talking now. I've not been able to stop thinking about you since that night. I pulled at the pub a couple nights ago and I couldn't even get it up until I started fantasizing about you! So yeah, this is just fucking hilarious to me. Thanks for the good times, Harps."

They both stood across from the bed, glaring at each other until a slow series of knocks pulled their attention toward the door. Bobby rolled his eyes and headed for the bathroom.

"Aren't you going to answer? It's your door."

"Yeah but it's your boyfriend."

He snapped back, slamming the bathroom door behind him. He listened and heard Lucas' voice after a moment, him and Harper talking quietly to each other. He turned the shower on, both to drown out the sound of their voices and to provide an excuse for hiding out in the bathroom. He pushed his boxers to the floor and stepped under the hot water.

He usually wasn't one to lose his cool. He supposed a combination of the stress of the last few days and Harper getting angry with him for trying to do the right thing had gotten the better of him, but he hated himself for it all the same. It hadn't really hit him until he'd blurted it out in the middle of his rant, but he was falling for her, and it was beyond ridiculous because he'd only been with her once and she was someone else's girlfriend. But he craved her and couldn't stop thinking about what it had been like to touch her or imagining how things might be now if they'd gone to the end of Love Island together.

But he had to stop thinking about and imagining those things. For her sake, for Lucas' sake, and for his own sanity. He'd never really understood men who only want what they can't have, he'd never been one of them. Now he was one of them, but he understood it even less. It was eating at him and he didn't ever want these feelings again. He had to face the fact that their friendship was over. He had to completely cut ties with her if he was to keep his head on straight.

He finally turned the shower off, wrapped a towel around his waist and stepped out of the bathroom, surprised to see Lucas standing there waiting for him.

"Um. If you were hoping to cop a perve, I'm sorry to disappoint you."

He joked nervously, nodding down towards his towel. Lucas furrowed his brow, but then chuckled lightly. The guy looked like shit. His hair was… not exactly messy, but definitely more unkempt than Bobby had ever seen it. He was pale and his eyes were bloodshot and still looked slightly unfocused.

"We're heading off."

His voice was still slurring just the very edge of his words, and Bobby risked a glance over at Harper, who was standing with her arms crossed again, one foot tapping on the floor impatiently.

"Now?"

Bobby swore he saw a tiny eye roll from the older man before he shrugged.

"Apparently. Now, yes. Harper's fallen ill and wants to get home."

Bobby had to fight back an eye roll of his own.

"Are you alright to drive, mate?"

Lucas sighed and started walking back toward the door where Harper was waiting.

"She's driving. Sorry to clear out so quickly, Bobby. This really was so helpful though, thank you for having us."

"It was no problem, really."

Bobby watched them both gather their things and walk out the door, Lucas turning back to give a small wave before closing it behind them. He was either too hungover, or didn't want to notice that Harper didn't even say goodbye. But Bobby noticed, and it felt like someone had plunged a knife into his gut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Thoughts, feelings, concerns? Good or bad, you can find me on Reddit u/ffkatbee and my inbox is always open!


	10. Chapter 10

For the three weeks that had passed since the disastrous visit from Harper and Lucas, Bobby had been putting all of his effort into forgetting about them. Forgetting about her. It hurt, much more than he thought it would, but it was his only option.

So he threw himself into his work and began volunteering at a kitchen in a homeless shelter. He started hanging out with his mates more often, trying to minimise the time he spent alone. Too much time on his own and he grew bored, and when he was bored his mind would wander. And these days there was only one place they'd wander to, and he couldn't have that.

He even tried to start up a kind of relationship with Jessie, but it fizzled out within days of beginning. He couldn't see her golden hair without being reminded of Harper, and once she was on his mind he couldn't bring himself to even kiss the other girl. They had attempted sex again, but Bobby had found himself plagued by the same problem he'd had last time, but the fantasies stopped working. He was disgusted with himself, having to resort to thinking about a spoken for woman just to get hard for someone else. So, he'd dramatically resigned himself to a life without sex.

For the most part, he was doing ok. Keeping busy kept his mind off of her while he was awake. She still crept into his dreams though, a few nights a week at least. He'd wake up unbearably turned on with no way to settle himself down other than to take a long shower and sort himself out. Then he'd need another shower to wash away the sickness he felt when he came to thoughts of doing unspeakable things to her. She'd ruined him. He couldn't look at certain shades of blonde anymore, hearing a Yorkshire accent sent his heart into palpitations and he couldn't maintain an erection with anyone other than himself.

He was sat at the bar late at night, having just finished work, with his head resting on his crossed arms on the counter. He felt a hand slide across his shoulders and lifted his head with a groan, prepared to tell whoever it was to look elsewhere. He considered adding 'I'm impotent' to his standard greeting, just to let women know they were wasting their time with him. He tilted his head to face the stool beside him, and his eyes fell on Lottie. He sat up straight, shocked.

"This doesn't look right."

She observed, her eyes travelling over him.

"No?"

"Nah. This is your home turf. Shouldn't you be dancing on the bar half naked by now? Or sticking it on some of the guys to wind them up? Or something? Not just sitting there, like…"

She waved her arms, gesturing to all of him. He laughed and leaned over to hug her.

"It's good to see you, Lottie. What are you doing here?"

"We came to see you."

"We?"

"Me and Gary. We took some time off and thought, where's the most entertaining place we could go for a week? Where ever Bobby is, that's where."

She pointed to the other end of the bar, where Gary's huge frame was leaning on the counter ordering drinks.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

Lottie shrugged, lifting a hand and studying her nails casually.

"We weren't sure what state you'd be in."

Bobby raised an eyebrow and waited for her to explain. She eyed him back for a long minute before rolling her eyes and sighing.

"Lucas told us you weren't yourself last time he saw you."

She narrowed her eyes at him.

"And speaking of Lucas…"

She trailed off and punched him hard in the shoulder.

"Ow! What the fuck, Lottie!?"

He scowled and rubbed his shoulder just as Gary appeared and slung a heavy arm around him.

"Oi, leave him alone."

He defended, before lifting his hand and smacking Bobby upside the head.

"Ok, you two can just go home. No McKenzie entertainment for you."

Bobby pouted at them both, knowing exactly what the hits were for and hoping to avoid a conversation about it. Gary perched up on the stool on the other side of Lottie, and they both looked at him expectantly.

"Alright, alright I know. I was stupid. But it's over now, so let it go yeah?"

"Uh, only it's not."

Lottie corrected, holding up a black tipped finger.

"Uh, but it is."

Bobby mirrored her pose.

"Well, it's actually not. And frankly I'm sick of hearing about you."

"And I'm sick of hearing about you second hand."

Gary piped up, nudging Lottie with a pointed look.

"What are you hearing about me?"

"Nothing specific. It's just Bobby this, Bobby that. Lucas tried to do whatever and it was an epic fail, remember when Bobby did it?"

Lottie mimed speaking her with her hand, pulling an exaggerated bored expression.

"Ok, well. It doesn't amount to much when she's with Lucas. So, she should just get over it."

"Like you have?"

Lottie smirked at him, and Bobby gathered as much casual energy as he could before shrugging.

"Yeah, like I have."

He hadn't at all, but he was sure he was getting there. But hearing that she was struggling just as much as him wasn't helpful. It would've stung, but he would have rather Lottie told him that she never mentioned him.

"You know Lucas moved in close by to her?"

Gary's voice broke into his thoughts and Bobby started getting annoyed.

"Yeah, I do. Which is exactly why I'm done with this conversation. She picked him. She- I dont even know. Experimented with me? Tested the waters? But in the end, she chose him and they're making a go of it and he's going to get his happily ever fucking after with her and I'll just be here. Without her."

He rambled, unable to stop himself, and cringed at the bewildered expressions on both of his friends' faces. He sighed and ran a hand over his face.

"Look, I know you think you're making me feel better, letting me know that she's thinking about me, but you're not. Honestly, I don't want to hear anything about her. I don't want to know her anymore. I just want to be done with her."

He turned away from them both and stared at the bar counter, waiting to get hit again. Instead Lottie's slender arm slid around him and squeezed gently. She pressed a kiss to his temple and let him go.

He didn't want their damn pity either. Poor Bobby, too gutless to go for what he wants. Well, he had gone for it. And it had blown up in his face and left him with one lost friend, and another that he would forever feel too guilty to be able to look him in the eye. But he couldn't be bothered arguing, so he just sat there, listening to them making small talk to try and lighten the mood.

\--

Lottie and Gary's presence had thrown Bobby for a loop, and undid all of the work he'd put in to forget about Harper. It was much easier to push thoughts of her out of his mind when there wasn't two reminders of the time he'd spent with her hanging around.

Thankfully they only stayed for a couple of days. As it turned out Glasgow had not been their destination after all, they’d simply stopped in to check on him on their way through to the Highlands. He was sad to see them go, all of the self-inflicted drama aside it had been a blast to see them both again. At the same time he was eager to get back to his plan of ignoring the existence of Harper. Indeed, ignoring the existence of his time in the Villa altogether.

To say he was annoyed when he received a phone call from Harper the very same day Gary and Lottie had left was an understatement. Lottie had obviously been on the phone to her as soon as they’d left. Probably filling her in on what a mess Bobby was. Which was not a lie, but irritating for her to know all the same.

“Hi.”

He answered reluctantly. He’d so badly, desperately wanted to ignore the call but it was like his fingers had a mind of their own and tapped on accept anyway. Like somehow his body was drawn to her, even from so far away, even though his head was trying to forget about her.

“We need to talk.”

She said simply. He fell into jokes without thinking, unwilling to deal with the discomfort he felt upon hearing her voice.

“I’m great Harper, thanks for asking. How are you?”

“I’m serious, Bobby.”

“So am I. Your manners are atrocious.”

“Bobby!”

He sighed. He couldn’t even make her laugh any more. There was no hope of him getting out of this conversation.

“What?”

He answered in defeat.

“We need to talk.”

“You already said that. So talk.”

There was silence on the other end of the line.

“Well?”

He prompted, getting impatient.

“Not on the phone.”

“Well I’m not coming to Leeds, and I don’t know how you’d explain a spontaneous trip to Scotland to your boyfriend. So the phone is what we have. Talk.”

“I miss you.”

Her voice was quiet and small on the other end. His impatience faded and was replaced by a surge of affection towards her. He didn’t reply. He couldn’t. He didn’t trust himself to start admitting that not being around her was torture.

“I made a mistake, letting you go so easily.”

She continued once she realised he wasn’t going to say anything. Bobby glanced around at his surroundings, remembering that he was out the front of the shelter that he volunteered at.

“I can’t really talk right-”

“Lottie called me.”

She cut in, and he mentally cursed the Aussie. Of course she did.

“Yeah, they just left here this morning.”

“That’s what she told me. She said you’re different.”

He didn’t know what to say to that. He supposed he was.

“I’m sorry I did that to you.”

“You didn’t.”

He knew it was a lie even as he said it. She absolutely did. She had made him different and sometimes he loved it, and other times it scared the shit out of him, and other times it made him feel physically ill and he wished he’d never met her.

“I’m different, too. Everything’s different.”

“How do you mean?”

He questioned, knowing already that he was going to regret asking.

“Nothing feels right anymore. With Lucas. He doesn’t sound right, or feel right. _I_ don’t feel right when we’re…”

She trailed off and he bit his tongue to keep from asking her to finish the sentence. He knew what she meant, but that sick demon that lived permanently on his shoulder nowadays wanted to hear her say it. It wanted to hear her say that she’d rather fuck him than Lucas. It wanted to hear that Lucas’ tongue couldn’t make her cum like Bobby’s did.

“I know.”

He answered quietly, his thoughts flashing back to his attempt with Jessie.

“Me too.”

“Can I call you tonight? When you’re alone.”

_No. Definitely no. Absolutely fucking not._

“Yeah, of course.”

_God dammit._

He heard her let out a relieved sigh, and when she spoke again it was a little louder, a little more confident.

“Talk more tonight, then.”

She ended the call and Bobby stared at his phone in bewilderment, wondering how his mouth could have said something so completely opposite to what he’d wanted to say.

He was fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Thoughts, feelings, concerns? Good or bad, you can find me on Reddit u/ffkatbee and my inbox is always open!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** Smut in this chapter, 18+ only.

Bobby was sitting on his couch, TV being ignored in the background and his phone on the coffee table in front of him, and absolutely bricking it, though he had no idea why. It was just Harper, he tried to reassure himself. Just a chat with Harper. With a woman he knew was easy to talk to, someone he already knew he got along with and someone with whom uncomfortable pauses were a rarity. But also, with the woman he’d literally dreamt about fucking more times than he could even count anymore. The unattainable woman, with a boyfriend who was not him, living in a city that was not too far away, but might as well have been on the other side of the planet.

He was also uneasy about what the call was about. She had wanted to talk to him, fine. What could she possibly have to say that she’d been unwilling to say while he was around other people? Was it to tell him that she couldn’t see him or speak with him anymore? Was it to tell him Lucas knew about them and was on his way to Glasgow at this very moment? The possibilities were endless, and he’d wound himself up so tight about them that when his phone signalled an incoming call he damn near thought he was going to have a heart attack.

He took a deep breath, eyeing her name on the screen and hoping that he at least _sounded_ as though he was calm before accepting the call.

“Hey.”

She spoke before him, and she sounded just as nervous as he felt but he could swear he heard a smile in her voice, and he breathed a sigh of relief. Probably not about to tell him Lucas was on his way with murder on his mind then. He almost wanted to ask where he was and why she didn’t have plans with him that night, but the last thing he wanted at that moment was to talk about her boyfriend so he kept his mouth shut about him and hoped she’d do the same.

“Hey.”

He answered shortly instead, and it seemed he’d been wrong when he’d reassured himself that this wouldn’t be awkward.

“I wanted to talk to you…”

He waited for her to say more but it didn’t seem like she was going to.

“You’ve mentioned that, yeah.”

“I’m sorry I got so mad at you.”

“Why _did_ you get so mad at me?”

He gave up on trying to control his mouth and settled on just letting it run. Apparently she was like an EMP that just shut his filter down whenever he tried to speak to her.

“I was embarrassed, I guess.” She paused. “I didn’t expect you to turn me down.”

He swallowed hard before answering.

“Neither did I.”

He had to move the conversation in a different direction. He couldn’t talk about this with her, he couldn’t let himself go back to that morning and think about her hand wrapped around him and how persistent she’d been before she realised that he was serious. But his thoughts just refused to shift, and he had no idea what else to say to her. He decided that it must be his brain that she shut down, not his filter.

“Was- that night in London, did you not like it?”

A laugh slipped through his lips before he could stop it and he clamped a hand over his mouth to shut himself up.

“You have got to be kidding me.”

He finally answered when the urge to cackle subsided. She was definitely kidding.

“Why?”

“How could you think I didn’t like it!?”

She paused for a moment before answering.

“I thought you- I thought because I didn’t want to have sex, maybe it turned you off of me.”

He wanted to tell her that he’d liked it and that he’d only stopped her because of Lucas. Which was true. But deviant Bobby was taking over his side of the conversation and he didn’t seem to be able to stop it.

“If anything it made me want you more, and I stopped you that morning because I knew once I let you start I wouldn’t be able to stop.”

“What if I didn’t want you to stop?”

He was keenly aware of the effect the conversation was already having on the lower half of his body.

“Well that would’ve just made it even worse.”

“Worse how?”

She pressed, and it occurred to him that she seemed to be deliberately trying to draw details out of him and trying to get him riled up. His alter ego decided to give her exactly what she wanted.

“This is going to sound bad.”

He warned, then continued when she didn’t object.

“All it takes is for me to think about how you tasted, or felt, or sounded and I’m a goner. So for you to think that I didn’t like it, is ridiculous. I fucking loved it, just the thought of you gets me hard.”

She let out a shaky breath and Bobby wondered for a second if he'd gone too far.

“Are you hard now?”

She asked, almost in a whisper.

 _Tell her no. Shut it down. This was just supposed to be an innocent phone call between friends,_ he pleaded desperately with himself.

“Um... yeah. Yes.”

_Jesus fucking Christ._

“What are you thinking about?”

This was definitely deliberate, and he was no longer in the right state of mind to object or try and put a stop to it.

“The way you sounded when you were begging me to let you come, and every time I wouldn’t.”

A soft sigh came over the phone and his hand travelled down his own body, stopping to lightly squeeze himself through his jeans in an effort to relieve a little pressure.

“And how fucking tight you got around my fingers when you finally did, and how badly I wanted to feel you squeeze my dick like that.”

His voice shifted to a low tone, slightly raspy, as he became fixated on the sound of her breathing. He wanted to hear her moaning the way she did when she’d been with him. He wanted to hear it so bad it was all he could think of. He was rewarded by an almost imperceptible moan, and his cock grew even harder when he realised what it meant.

“Are you- touching yourself?”

There was silence on the other end of the phone for the longest time before he finally heard the tiniest of confirmations.

"Mhm."

"Fuck me Harper, that's insanely hot."

He murmured as his eyes fell closed and his mind flooded with images of her pleasuring herself.

"What are _you_ thinking about?"

He groaned the question out as he undid his jeans and slid his hand inside his boxers.

"The sounds you made when you started jerking yourself off and how easily you took control of me."

She'd sounded shy at first, awkward and a little embarrassed probably. But once she moved past it her voice was drenched with desire and it was driving him crazy.

He listened to her moan again and awkwardly pushed his clothing down to his knees, a shudder running through his body as his hand glided down his length, spreading the precum that was already leaking from the tip.

He wished more than anything that she was right there with him. He wouldn't even tease her this time. He just wanted to get her off and feel her clench and leave her trembling in his arms.

He began pumping himself slowly as his imagination took over and he could practically feel her lips in place of his hand.

“Fuck I wish I could see you right now.”

He moaned out as his hips bucked up slightly. It was so wrong, everything about it was so wrong and he knew it, but at the same time it was so fucking good and he really didn’t care how wrong it was. There was even a tiny, barely there, sadistic voice in the back of his mind telling him that this was probably what she thought of whenever she fucked Lucas now. This was probably how she got herself wet for him, and the mere possibility of her thinking about him while she fucked someone else had him stopping the movements of his hand to keep from cumming all over himself.

Harper let out a desperate whimper over the phone and the sound had him going again, his hand moving hard and fast as he jerked himself, too lost in the world he’d retreated into to realise how sickening it was to be getting off on thoughts of her having sex with someone else.

“I wanted- I wish-”

She stuttered through short gasps.

“I wish I could feel you inside me.”

The sentence came out in the form of an orgasmic moan and that was his threshold. Bobby let out a strangled groan and his hand stilled, his hips jerking up into his own grip erratically as he came with the sound of her high pitched, breathy whine filling his ears and letting him know she had reached her own high as well.

Neither of them spoke, for a long time, and finally Harper let out a light laugh just as Bobby had returned to reality and was looking in dismay at the mess on his lower abdomen.

“That wasn’t what I called you for.”

She admitted with an embarrassed giggle, and Bobby chuckled in return.

“Well you can not call me for that anytime.”

“I think I’d rather come and see you.”

“I think it’d be easier for me to come to you.”

He almost face palmed at his wording before he realised at the last minute that his hand was splattered with his own cum, and he had no desire to smear it all over his face.

“All things considered.”

He added, searching for something within reach that he could wipe himself off with. He gave up and kicked his pants the rest of the way off then ungracefully lifted his shirt over his head, trying to keep hold of the phone and not touch too much of himself with his soiled hand.

“What are you doing?”

He huffed at her amused tone.

“Trying to get my clothes off without making a mess of myself. I need a shower.”

She burst out laughing, and after a moment he couldn’t help but join in.

“So you’re gonna come to me?”

She asked, a hint of a joke in her voice.

“I’m gonna need a few minutes.”

He joked back, before answering her seriously.

“I’m not sure when, but soon. I’ll work it out. Is that going to be ok? With.. you know.”

Now that his blood had returned to its rightful place, he had trouble even saying Lucas’ name, feeling guilty all over again.

“It’ll be fine, I’ll take care of it.”

He nodded, forgetting for a second that she couldn’t see him, as he made his way to the bathroom and started the shower.

“I have to go. I’ll let you know when I can get there.”

“I’ll see you soon, Bobs.”

She hung up, and despite everything he thought that his favourite part of the entire phone call was hearing her call him the shortened version of his name that she’d been calling him since their second day in the Villa. He hadn’t heard it since London, and it was comforting and familiar and made him forget that what he was doing was so incredibly wrong and out of character.

As he stepped into the shower to wash himself off, he allowed himself to believe, just for a little while, that she could actually be his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Thoughts, feelings, concerns? Good or bad, you can find me on Reddit u/ffkatbee and my inbox is always open!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** Smut in this chapter, 18+ only.
> 
> I just want to thank everyone for the MASSIVE amount of support I've gotten for this story, especially those of you spreading the word about it and letting me know it's being talked about on other forums. It's a huge ego boost if I'm honest and is absolutely the reason I'm continuing it because I was so unsure of it beforehand ❤❤

Frustratingly, Bobby found that he couldn’t get any more time off for almost a month. He’d used the little holidays he had left on his London trip, and his boss was depending on him more than ever due to the extra shifts he’d taken on.

The second he checked his payslip and saw that the hours were stacking up again, he booked himself a flight. He could drive, or take the bus, or the train, but he didn’t want to waste time. He wanted to get to her as quickly as possible, and he suspected he’d have to leave fairly quickly as well.

He met up with Jonno the day before he was to leave to let him know he'd be out of town for a few days. In his attempts to keep busy he'd been meeting up with his mates a couple of times a week so he didn't want them to worry when they couldn't get hold of him.

"Where ya headed?"

The larger man asked as they both took a seat on a bench in the middle of a park. It was an unusually sunny day in Glasgow so the men decided to take advantage of the rare treat of sunshine rather than meeting in a dim pub for once.

"Leeds."

He answered casually, figuring that there was no way Jonno would remember where anyone off the show was from.

"Wasn't whatsername from Leeds?"

Well, shit.

"I'm sure there are a lot of whatsernames in Leeds."

He tried to play it off, but Jonno knew him too well.

"Nah mate, that one you fucked. You're going to see her, aren't ya?"

"I didn't fuck her. And not that it's your business, but yes."

"I heard that posh prick she finished up with moved in with her or something."

Bobby looked at him in shock. How did he know these things? Jonno wasn't exactly the type to get lost in the pages of gossip magazines.

"He's not a posh prick, and he didn't move in. Just nearby."

"But she's still with him?"

"Yeah."

"So you're not going away for a dirty weekend with her then?"

Well...

"Nah."

Jonno nodded, seeming satisfied with his answer, and Bobby let himself feel relieved.

It was bad enough that so many people knew what had happened in the first place, he didn't need anyone knowing that it was still happening. The more people knew, the more likely it was that Lucas would find out.

Bobby still stupidly held onto the selfish belief that he and Lucas could one day be something close to friends. He wasn't sure how he'd work being friends with the bloke while banging his missus on the side, but he figured he could sort out the logistics later.

Harper wanting him was front and centre of his mind, everything else was unimportant background and it was making him selfish and dishonest and neglectful of anyone else's feelings and he hated it. But he also didn't care if it meant he got to be with her, even if just for a couple of days every few months.

They spoke, or at least texted every day and were both significantly better at phone sex by now. He thought it would be enough to tide him over, but getting to hear her and knowing what she was doing only made him more desperate to get his hands on her.

\--

He was giddy with excitement as he got comfortable in his seat on the plane and noticed a text from her when he went to turn his phone off.

_Have you left yet?_

He typed out a quick reply, letting her know that he’d just boarded, before turning his phone off and tucking it back into his pocket.

A part of him hadn’t believed that anything was actually going to happen. He was always waiting for a text calling the whole thing off. But it never came, and she seemed just as excited about his trip as he was.

He had never been one to appreciate the thrill of doing something that he knows he shouldn’t be doing, he always played it safe, past experiences making him too fearful of being hurt to stray too far from the well worn path of what was expected of him. But with her, he was different. He was willing to break all of his own rules for her, even though he knew that he’d never completely have her. He was willing to lie to everyone he knew, and he was willing to keep it up for as long as he needed to.

Deep down he doubted that she’d ever leave Lucas for him. As much as she would say that things with him didn’t feel right anymore, he knew that logically he was the better choice for her. And deep down, even if he didn't like admitting it to himself, he also doubted that he could trust her enough anymore to be in a real relationship with her anyway.

It almost made him laugh to think back on the entire Villa banging on about what a loyal person Harper was. If only they could have seen her sneaking away from her boyfriend to meet Bobby. Making the first move time and time again.

After landing he made his way out of the terminal to find her waiting for him, leaning against the back door of a taxi. She grinned when her eyes landed on him, and he returned it although seeing her was bitter sweet. He ached to kiss her and touch her but he knew he couldn't. Not out in the open like this, in the city she lived in.

"Hey Bobs."

She gave him a small hug and he lost himself for a moment in her smell and the feel of her hands on his back before they both got into the back of the taxi. It was awkward. Not because they didn't know how to act around each other, but because they knew exactly how they wanted to act, they just couldn't. Not yet.

"Where are we going?"

Bobby looked out the window curiously, anything to divert his attention away from what was showing of her legs beyond the hem of her white sundress. Thank God for summer.

“I, um, booked a room for us.”

She answered awkwardly and he had to laugh at how shy she suddenly seemed. She made a face at him and reached over to place a hand on his thigh.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

He glanced down at her hand, then back up at her face and gave her a small nod.

“Definitely. But if you're not..."

"No no, I am."

He wanted, he _should've_ asked her if she felt guilty. He should've made her think about what she was doing, but he was afraid that if he made her think about it, she'd back out. He was more afraid of the possibility that she'd already thought about it and was going to do it anyway.

They didn’t speak for the rest of the car ride, the tension in the backseat of that taxi so heavy that Bobby thought he could feel the weight of it pushing him even further into the leather seat.

The car pulled up out the front of a motel, a pretty nice one, and he was actually a little surprised. He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting. He looked over at her and she laughed.

“You were expecting some pay by the hour dive? Give me some credit, McKenzie.”

She teased him as they stepped out of the cab. He paid the driver, and they both watched as the car drove away, suddenly alone. Bobby felt himself starting to get nervous, his thoughts stubbornly turning towards Lucas.

“So, where does he think you are?”

He still couldn’t even say his name. Harper took his hand and started leading him towards the door.

“Um, I told him I was visiting with my sister. She’s in Manchester.”

She turned away from him to check them in, and Bobby started feeling nauseous and uncertain. She led him along behind the front desk and down a hall to the room that matched the magnetic key card in her hand.

“Maybe we shouldn’t do this.”

He blurted out, eyeing the door uneasily as she unlocked it and pushed it open. She froze and then turned slowly to face him.

“What?”

“Maybe this is a bad idea.”

It felt different somehow, planning it out like this. Knowing that she lied to Lucas just to free herself up to be with him. The last time had been spontaneous, he could write it off as a slip up and still somewhat sleep at night, but this was something entirely different and he wasn't sure if he was ready to handle how crossing that line was going to make him feel.

Harper took one of his hands and led him into the room and the door clicked closed quietly behind them.

“Before anything else we’re friends, right?”

She studied him and he nodded slightly, unsure where she was going with it. She almost looked like she felt sorry for him, and he regretted opening his mouth.

“There’s no rule that says we have to do anything. We can just hang out if you’re not… feeling it anymore.”

He was feeling it. He was feeling it throughout his entire body, and that was what was bothering him so much. How could he be so into it?

“Right.”

He said decisively, definitely not missing the odd mix of disappointment and relief on her face.

Bobby hadn’t realised he was feeling so pressured by the whole situation until their agreement to just spend time together without expectations lifted a huge weight off of his shoulders. It was almost like being back in the Villa again as they spent the afternoon just talking and joking around together, and only the tiniest part of him was screaming abuse at him for his hesitation and reminding him that he could have her bent over the side of the bed by now.

\--

“Not even once?”

Harper asked in disbelief.

“Nope.”

“Not even when you went to the hide away?”

“Nope.”

“She was so vague about what happened when you went in there, I thought you definitely slept with her and she was just being shy.”

She said thoughtfully.

“Priya? Shy?”

Bobby raised an eyebrow at her.

“So why did you stay with her all that time?”

He shrugged, thinking over her question for a minute.

“I liked her, I thought maybe she was just a slow burner. Besides, what other options did I have? Elisa?”

He pulled a disgusted face, making Harper laugh.

“So you went that whole time with nothing, while everyone else was fucking in the beds around you?”

“Yep.”

“Not even…”

She trailed off and made a jerking off motion with her hand.

“Not allowed in there, remember?”

She laughed and shook her head.

“You’re a stronger man than most, Bobby McKenzie.”

The conversation flowed easily and by the time the sun started setting Bobby was feeling much more like himself, bringing a wave of relief. He’d been so torn lately between who he used to be and who he’d become after being with Harper that he felt like he didn’t even know who he was anymore. He’d worked hard to get to a point where he was sure of himself, and he’d hated how easily all that work had been undone.

\--

They both stood at the foot of the bed, looking at it wordlessly once they’d decided to call it a night. Despite how relaxed the day had been, Bobby still remembered why he’d made the trip in the first place and the sudden realisation that he was going to have to sleep next to her and wake up next to her again, was daunting.

“It’s not like we’ve never shared a bed before.”

She said encouragingly, glancing over at him.

“I can sleep on the couch?”

He suggested back, looking over and meeting her gaze.

“Don’t be an idiot.”

“Being an idiot is in my job description, haven’t you seen the memes?”

She rolled her eyes, and in one quick movement she pushed him down onto the bed.

“Just get in.”

“That’s what I came here for.”

He scooted his way up the bed to lay back on the pillows and grinned up at her. She threw herself down next to him to lay on her stomach, crossing her arms under her head as she looked at him.

“You’re the one that backed out.”

He sighed and rolled onto his side to face her, stretching his arm out to trail his hand up and down her back.

“It’s different.”

“What’s different?”

“This. Booking a flight, getting a room, lying to people. It makes it different.”

His eyes fixed on a spot on the wall behind her as he spoke, and she clicked her fingers in front of his face to get his attention.

“I wish I could make this easier for you.”

“I thought the point was to make it hard?”

He grinned at her again, but she didn’t return it.

“You don’t have to do that with me.”

“Do what?”

“Make jokes about something that makes you uncomfortable. If this bothers you, you’re allowed to just be bothered.”

He leaned over absentmindedly and began pressing light kisses along the back of her shoulder.

“I’m not as bothered by it as I should be.”

“No?”

She rolled over onto her back and shuffled closer, her change of position moving his kisses to the top of her chest along her collar bone.

“No.”

She let out a sigh as his lips moved to her neck and his hand slid under the thin cami she’d changed into for bed.

“I didn’t even get your clothes off last time.”

He breathed in her ear before his mouth found hers, her tongue slipping past his lips immediately. His hand massaged her breast lightly under her shirt and he hummed into the kiss at the happy realisation that he was already reacting to her. For a split second he'd been afraid that he wouldn't manage it and while he could deal with the embarrassment of it happening with Jessie, he thought if it happened with Harper he'd be tempted to step outside and into oncoming traffic.

She pulled away from him and sat up with a small smile, lifting her top over her head and leaving her in just her underwear.

"Problem solved."

He shook his head and pointed to her knickers.

"All of it."

She rolled her eyes in mock exasperation and laid back down, lifting her hips to slide them off. She reached over and tugged on his boxers.

"This is hardly fair."

"I’ve never claimed to be fair."

He dismissed her comment and leaned down to run his tongue around one of her nipples as his hand resumed it's massage on the other side.

"Don't be a tease."

She breathed out, and he slapped her hand away lightly when she reached down to touch him.

"Don't tell me what to do."

As his lips trailed down to her stomach he briefly remembered that he hadn't wanted to tease her again, but now that she was right there in the flesh he couldn't help himself.

"I want to hear you beg again."

He murmured against the inside of her thigh before tracing his tongue in _just_ too wide of a circle, just missing where he knew she wanted it to be. He smiled and pinned her down when she tried to shift her hips.

"Oh come on, Bobby."

She groaned in frustration, her body stilling in defeat. He looked up to watch her as he rested his forearm across her lower stomach to hold her down and let his other hand rest on the inside of her thigh.

"Come on what?"

" _Do_ something."

She whined.

"Something?"

He repeated thoughtfully, keeping his eyes trained on her as he moved his hand up her thigh and brushed his fingers against her smooth skin.

"Something like this?"

She arched her back up off of the bed as two of his fingers slid inside of her and he lightly sucked her clit between his lips, letting his tongue flick back and forth.

"Uh huh, yes, just like that."

She panted out and he felt her hips pushing against his arm as she tried to roll them up into his face.

Her fingers threaded into his locs and she tugged lightly, making him look up at her.

"More."

She whispered and he moved to add a third finger but she shook her head and pushed at his shoulder.

"No. More of you."

He removed his fingers and wiped them off on his boxers as he sat up, caught between being unbearably turned on and worried about crossing either of their boundaries. Even though he wasn't sure that he even had any boundaries left.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded, but he raised an eyebrow at her.

"I'm gonna need to hear you say it."

He barely even recognised his own voice when he spoke again. Any trace of his usual playfulness was gone, and in its place was something deep and dark that only wanted to hear how badly she wanted him. She groaned and flopped back on the bed.

"You're annoying."

She grumbled into her arm as she moved it over her face. He chuckled and pressed his fingers against her clit, not quite moving them enough as he kissed her stomach. She let out a moan and her hips jerked up. He kissed his way back up to her face, then leaned down to whisper against her ear.

"Say it."

She gasped when he finally started moving his fingers the way she needed him to and her hand flew out to grasp his shoulder as she leaned up to whisper back.

"I want you to fuck me."

He bit down on her shoulder to stifle a moan before pulling away from her to take his boxers off. Her hands moved to rake her nails down his chest as he reached over to lift his bag from where he’d haphazardly thrown it when they’d come in and he rifled through it in search of the condoms he’d packed in there. Harper raised an eyebrow at him, amused.

“Came prepared, I see.”

He grinned back down at her, giving a small shrug.

“You complaining?”

“Not at all.”

She answered distractedly, her eyes following the movement of his hands as he opened the wrapper and rolled the barrier over himself. Bobby carelessly pushed his bag back off the side of the bed and leaned down to kiss her again, one hand resting on her hip as her legs came to rest around his waist. He rolled his hips against hers, eliciting a moan from both of them.

Some part of him was waiting for her to change her mind. Or to change his mind himself. He kept his movements deliberately slow, trailing his fingertips down her arms and then gripping her wrists to pin them to the bed above her head with one hand. He watched her face for a response as positioned himself at her entrance, waiting for any sign of her wanting to stop. Instead she arched up into him and tightened her thighs around him. The movement had him pressed up against her, and his hips jerked forward involuntarily, pushing his length inside of her.

Bobby’s eyes rolled back and then closed as he let himself sink inside of her completely, the only thing around him that registered was Harper’s relieved sigh, her fingers curling around his, and her heat clenching around him as if to draw him further inside of her. He stayed still for a moment to let her adjust, she was so tight around him that he was afraid he was hurting her.

“You good?”

He managed to grunt out, and Harper nodded breathlessly and rolled her hips up into his.

“So fucking good."

She moaned as he started moving against her, his grip on her wrists tightening before he remembered with disappointment that he couldn’t risk leaving a mark on her and loosened his hand again. He rested his head down on her shoulder, trying to take it easy on her but with every thrust his hips would snap into her a little harder.

“Stop that.”

She whined, her hands pushing against his as she tried to get them free of his grip. He froze mid-stroke and lifted his head to look at her.

“What’s wrong?”

She wiggled her hips, making him groan and causing his fingers to tighten around her wrists again as he fought to hold still.

“Stop holding back.”

Bobby studied her for a moment before a smirk crossed his face and he released her hands. She let out a sigh of disappointment when he pulled out of her and moved back off the bed. Before she could complain about it he grabbed her ankles and pulled her to the edge, where she got the hint and wrapped her legs back around him.

He pushed back into her almost straight away, his hands resting on the bed on either side of her to hold himself up as he leaned down to kiss her again. He pulled away and ran his hands down the front of her body to grip her hips as tightly as he dared to as he set a faster pace. His eyes moved between watching her face and glancing down to watch himself disappear inside of her with every thrust and he could already feel the heat starting to spread throughout his body.

He’d imagined - and dreamt - of this so many times that he could barely remember a time when he hadn’t wanted to be inside of her, and now that it was happening it was so much better than he thought it would be. There was no guilt, no doubt about whether or not she wanted him as much as he wanted her, and the wet warmth clenching around him with every thrust felt so much better than it had on his fingers.

“Harder.”

She moaned, drawing a low growl from the back of his throat. He dug his fingers into her hip the tiniest bit more and roughly pulled her back onto him everytime he brought his hips forward, and with one hand he reached up to lightly rest it against her neck. She opened her eyes and looked up at him with a small smile, and then moved a hand over his to push it harder against her.

“Jesus…”

He murmured as he felt her swallow hard against his hand, the sensation driving his hips harder against hers.

“Oh my-”

Her moan was cut short as her back arched and he felt her tighten up around him even more and for a second his rhythm faltered as the new pressure took him by surprise. Her eyes rolled back and her mouth fell open as she drew closer to her release, and Bobby’s mind starting to go blank, only focused on how beyond good she felt clamped down around him and keeping him deep inside of her. Without thinking about it, both of his hands tightened on her a little more and he could no longer bring himself to care if he left a mark, somewhere in the depths of his mind he even chuckled darkly at what Lucas’ reaction to them might be, he wondered if she’d tell him who gave them to her.

His hips bucked erratically and Harper cried out his name as she came, squeezing and pulsing all around him, the intense pressure causing him to stop his frantic movements and just roll his hips against hers. He slid his hand from her neck up to the side of her face and kissed her hard when he reached his own climax, all teeth and tongues, messy and so hot at the same time as he felt himself twitching and throbbing inside of her.

She pushed at his shoulders, breaking the kiss and she gasped for breath as soon as his mouth left hers.

“Oh God.”

He rolled against her once more, causing a shudder to run through both of their bodies, before pulling out and letting go of her hip. He grinned at her as he pulled the condom off.

“You can just call me Bobby.”

She rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at him before he made his way to the bathroom to throw the condom in the bin. She had moved to sit back up near the pillows by the time he came back and was rearranging the sheets over herself and pushing them down for him beside her. As soon as he joined her she leaned over to kiss up his neck and he instinctively tilted his head and wrapped an arm around her waist. 

Her lips moved to his and she kissed him slowly, almost lazily, eventually moving to his lap and straddling him. Bobby’s hands ran up and down her sides lightly and she shivered before pulling away.

“You need to be careful doing this.”

He commented, gesturing down to where she was seated against his crotch, both of them still naked.

“Why?”

She rested her hands on his chest, smirking as she wiggled on him a little. He narrowed his eyes at her.

“Because you’ll get me going again.”

She tapped a finger on her chin, then leaned down to kiss his neck again.

“Well we can’t have that.”

He groaned when she shifted her hips against his again, every sensation intensified by how sensitive he still was. She moved back a little and reached down between them to stroke him lightly and his whole body tensed up as she ran her thumb over the sensitive head.

“Seems like you’re already going again.”

She breathed in his ear. He didn’t want her to be, but she was right. He’d managed to calm down enough before she’d touched him again to remember that he’d backed out of this, and he’d agreed to just spend time with her. But now her weight just felt too good on top of him for him to be willing to stop her, her hand travelling slowly up and down his cock felt too good, her lips and hot breath against his neck felt too good.

He felt her start to move back over him and held her off of him by the waist.

“Condom.”

He forced himself to say, even though the last thing he wanted was for her to move from where she was. She shook her head and placed her hands on top of his, trying to move them.

“It’s fine.”

“It’s not.”

“I trust you, and I’ve always used one with…”

She trailed off, and a rush of excitement hit him when he realised that she was willing to go bareback with him when she hadn’t even done it with Lucas. He let go of her and moaned softly as she sank down onto him, resting his head back against the wall behind the bed.

It was so good it almost hurt as she started moving on him, and he had to return his hands to her waist to slow her down.

“Take it easy.”

He was too sensitive and the thrill of the direct friction made everything so much better, so much more intense, that he started to worry that he was, for the first time in his life, going to become a premature ejaculation statistic. She slowed her speed but it didn’t make much difference, so Bobby moved a hand between them to rub at her clit gently with his thumb. Be damned if he was going to come before her.

He leaned up off of the wall to kiss her and used the hand on her hip to push her down onto him a little harder while his thumb traced faster circles. He wasn’t going to last long and he was desperate to get her there first.

Harper slid her hands over his shoulders to his back, dragging her fingernails back around to his chest and leaving red trails behind them.

“You feel- so good.”

She breathed out, and his dick seemed to harden up even more inside of her. She moaned brokenly and reached down to move his hand away from her as she came again. He growled at her and moved his hand back between her legs.

“No no, Bobby. It’s too much, please.”

She was begging him again, and he fucking loved it. He knew she was still sensitive but felt a sick need to make her squirm on top of him as he came inside of her.

Her entire body trembled and twitched all over and around him as he relentlessly circled her clit, and when he finally hit his own climax and his hips jerked up into her, she managed to move his hand away again while he was distracted. He rested his forehead on her shoulder, both of them breathing heavily as their bodies started to relax again, and eventually she pulled herself off of him and collapsed onto the bed beside him.

He glanced at her with uncertainty, maybe he’d gone too far. He’d lost himself completely in her, he knew that much, but he hoped she’d have tried more seriously to stop him if she had a problem with it.

“You okay?”

He asked, hesitant to lay beside her in case she’d changed her mind about him sleeping on the couch. She looked up at him and smiled.

“Yeah. You just keep surprising me, that’s all.”

He let himself release the nervous breath he’d been holding and got under the covers with her, pulling her against him and running his hands through her hair.

“Good surprises or bad surprises?”

She pressed a short kiss to his lips, already looking as though she was half asleep.

“Good.”

He allowed himself to be comforted by her words as he felt himself starting to drift off to sleep as well. The last thoughts to cross his mind before everything went quiet, was the realisation that he was officially having an affair with her. He’d gone ahead and gone through with something he had initially wanted to back out of, and now he was the guy on the side. It was a role he never expected to find himself in, and worryingly, he found that he actually kind of liked it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Thoughts, feelings, concerns? Good or bad, you can find me on Reddit u/ffkatbee and my inbox is always open!


	13. Chapter 13

The time had gone by too fast, and Bobby still wasn't ready to leave her as he sat beside Harper in the back seat of another taxi, parked at the airport. They agreed that she wouldn't be seeing him off at the terminal gate. The risk of someone seeing them was too great, and after the three days they'd spent together Bobby didn't think he'd be able to keep his hands off of her, even in public. Even now, in the sad silence between them, his fingertips were lightly stroking her thigh.

The driver cleared his throat impatiently, obviously wondering what was going on with them just sitting there.

"I don't want you to go."

Harper sighed quietly when Bobby moved to open the door. He was a little unsure of how to approach this goodbye. She wasn't his girlfriend, so he wasn't certain that kissing her goodbye would be appropriate. On the other hand, despite the awkwardness of his first day there, the two that followed had seen them only leaving the bed to eat, use the bathroom or shower, doing the latter together anyway. So in a way kissing her seemed like little more than a friendly hug in comparison to everything else he’d done with her.

"I don't want to go."

He replied, giving her a small smile.

"But I have to."

"I know."

Before he could speak again, Harper had undone her seatbelt and was half sitting on his lap, kissing him urgently. He responded immediately wrapping his arms around her and holding her tightly against him. She sighed softly against his lips and he felt his crotch stir at the sound of it, even though by all rights he should have been completely drained by that point. He was sore and exhausted but somehow his body still wanted her without him even thinking about it. Bobby pushed her away with a disappointed groan.

"I have to go."

He told her firmly and she nodded and slid off of his lap.

"Am I going to see you again?"

She asked in a small voice and he saw tears forming in the corner of her eye when he looked at her, his hand resting on the door handle. Was she actually that upset that he was going home? It sucked, but Bobby realised that he was only really going to miss fucking her, and it surprised him. He'd never been the type to just go after someone for sex.

"Of course. If that's what you want."

She gave him a grateful smile and nodded.

"I do."

“Alright love birds, hurry it up.”

The driver interjected rudely, and they both glared at him through the rear view mirror.

“We’ll work it out, okay? I’ll call you.”

Bobby reassured her as he opened the door. She pulled him back towards her and kissed him again, her lips lingering against his for a few seconds.

“You better.”

She returned to her seat and pulled her seatbelt back on, giving him a smile and a small wave before he shut the door and headed into the airport.

\--

It dawned on him after a few days being back home that she’d broken him again. He’d made so much progress into forgetting about her, and then he’d literally gone out of his way to not only remember her again, but to add to the memories he already had. He couldn’t stop thinking about her. Everywhere from innocent thoughts, like wondering what she was doing, or if she might be thinking about him to not so innocent thoughts, like a few minutes ago when he’d accidentally dropped a spatula into a bowl of icing and it had splashed up on his hand. He’d licked it off of his hand and the memory of what her tongue felt like on his fingers when he’d put them in her mouth while he was fucking her overwhelmed everything else for a split second.

It was  _ ridiculous _ how many things reminded him of her, and how easily some of those things turned him on.

He had just finished washing up the dishes he’d used making a batch of cupcakes to take into the shelter for his volunteer shift that night when his phone rang. He frowned at Gary’s name on the screen as he dried his hands off on a dishcloth, and he wondered if Harper had told Lottie about them again.

“Hey Gary.”

He answered warily, getting ready to hang up if Gary brought it up.

“Bobby! Boys’ catch up in a few weeks mate, you in?”

“What are you on about?”

“All us boys from the Villa.”

“All?”

“Well, not Jakub. Lad’s a wanker. But the rest of us!”

“Lucas?”

There was a pause, as though Gary didn’t want to answer him.

“Yeah, Lucas too. Shouldn’t be a problem anymore, right? You said that - thing - was over.”

“It’s still a bit awkward though, isn’t it?”

“Only if you don’t keep your mouth shut about it. I’m the only one of the guys who knows. So you in?”

Bobby knew that if he said no, it’d get people asking questions, and the last thing he or Harper needed was people asking questions. His phone buzzed against his ear as a text message came through.

“Yeah I’m in. Text me the details, yeah?”

“Sound, I’ll talk to you later.”

Gary ended the call on his end and Bobby checked his messages to see a new text from Harper.

_ Did Gary call u yet? _

_ Yeah, just now. _

He sent back, figuring she must be with Lucas to have found out so quickly. He was struck by how jealous he felt when he thought about Lucas being able to touch her whenever he wanted.

_ U cant go. _

Bobby frowned at his phone. Can’t?

_ Why? _

_ Lucas is going. _

He stared at her words on the screen, unsure how he felt about them. Was she saying that he was never to see Lucas again, and that he couldn’t hang out with mutual friends anymore?

_ Are u busy? Can I call? _

He sent after a moment. He didn’t want to have this conversation with her over text messages.

_ Not busy. _

It took her longer to answer his call than he’d thought, and when she did it was in whisper.

“It’s so risky, Bobby.”

“Do I need to school you on manners again?”

He could practically hear her eyes rolling.

“Hello Bobby.”

“Much better. Hello Harper. Now what’s the problem? It’s not like I’m going to say anything to him.”

“I know. It just… I don’t- I don’t know.”

“Oh, I see. Now it all makes sense.”

“Stop trying to make me laugh.”

“Is it working?”

“A little.”

He grinned to himself in satisfaction. He heard her sigh before she spoke again.

“It just seems weird, you and him hanging out.”

“You don’t think it seems weird to me? But it’s not just me and him, and I’ll probably be hanging with Gary and Rahim more than anything.”

“I guess.”

“Besides I already told Gary yes. It’ll look sus now if I back out.”

He heard a familiar voice in the background, and when Harper called back she was muffled and he figured she was covering the mouthpiece of her phone.

“I have to go.”

She whispered a little quieter when she returned.

“Don’t worry about it, Harper. It’ll be fine, okay? We’ll be fine.”

“We as in you and Lucas or we as in you and me?”

“Both.”

He lied. Him and her were already not fine, they hadn’t been since their trip to London. Nothing about them was fine. He heard Lucas’ voice again, a lot closer this time and the call ended abruptly.

\--

Gary and Noah had apparently planned the boys' night, which Bobby found conflicting. He could see Gary going all in for strippers and a pub crawl, whereas Noah - well, Bobby couldn't actually work out what Noah's idea of a good time might be. Either way, he was curious about what was planned.

As it turned out, Gary had planned most of it in almost exactly the same way Bobby thought he would've. Noah had simply suggested that they all get together. At the last minute Lottie had put her foot down and forbidden him from going to any strip clubs or hiring any strippers, so they were left with a pub crawl around inner London, which was a little annoying given it meant an almost two hour flight to get there just for one night. He supposed it made sense though, only he and Rocco lived so far away.

Gary was waiting for him at the airport, holding up an impressively professional looking sign reading 'Capt. B Smooth', and Bobby couldn't help but laugh as he weaved his way through the crowd toward him. Gary was wearing his glasses, and lowered them down his nose to look over them at his friend as he approached.

"Mr Smooth, I presume?"

Bobby gave a small bow.

"You presume correctly, good sir."

“Your chariot awaits.”

He made a sweeping gesture with one arm towards the doors. They were  definitely getting some looks from other travellers. Gary grinned and pushed his glasses back up before pulling Bobby into a bone crushing hug, almost lifting him off of his feet.

"It's good to see you, mate."

He said when he finally released him.

"Lucas has sprung for a penthouse for us for the night."

He informed him excitedly as the men made their way back through the crowd and out of the airport where Gary's hire car was waiting. Upon seeing them, Rahim's head popped through the window closest to them, and Henrick leaned right out of the opposite one, sitting on the door and resting his arms on the roof of the car.

"McKenzie!!"

He bellowed, drawing more looks from passers by and drumming a short beat on the roof.

"Now the party can start!"

He grinned and slid back into the car as Bobby and Gary got in the front two seats.

"How they hangin' lads?"

Bobby asked with an equally enthusiastic grin, turning in his seat to better face everyone.

"Wait til you see this place, it's proper lush."

Gary explained, pulling the car onto the road and slowly navigating through the traffic.

"It's good news really, I was worried I was gonna have to exchange sexual favours for a roof for the night."

Bobby admitted, earning a chorused chuckle from the other men.

"You still could!"

Henrick pointed out, and Bobby's smile faded just slightly. He already knew that trying to hook up with anyone but Harper would be an exercise in futility. He spotted Gary shooting him a suspicious glance.

"Nah, this is supposed to be about us blokes catching up. Plus, it'll be familiar sharing a room with you all. Give me the warm and fuzzies and all that."

He tried to explain the look off of Gary's face, and he wasn't entirely sure it had worked. It wasn't a complete lie though, seeing the guys again was really driving home how much he missed them already.

"There's still nothing happening with you and Priya?"

Rahim piped up from his seat behind Bobby's.

"Nah, I haven't even heard from her since last time we were here."

"Mate, the way she played you-"

"She didn't play me."

Bobby cut him off, remembering how supportive she'd been while he'd been a mess over what he'd done with Harper.

"She just… thought I was someone I'm not. That Villa messed with everyone's view of everything, didn't it?"

He couldn’t ignore the sideways looks Gary kept giving him while he drove, and he started to panic, just a little. There was no way he could know, though. Bobby had told him and Lottie that it was over weeks ago, it was only one slip up as far as anyone else knew.

\--

Seeing Lucas was awkward, just as Bobby knew it would be. But of course he had to try his hardest not to act as awkward as he felt, since he was the only one awkward about it. He managed to mostly avoid him until they were at their fourth or fifth pub of the night; by then Bobby had lost track of exactly how many. Lucas came to lean against the wall next to where he was standing and they both watched Rahim and Noah play some kind of distorted game of pool on the table in front of them.

“How have you been, Bobby?”

“Alright, mate. You?”

Lucas nodded and took a swig of beer from the glass in his hand.

“Okay I guess.”

Bobby looked over at him questioningly.

“You guess?”

Lucas nodded, looking a little forlorn for a moment.

“What’s up?”

He asked hesitantly.

_ Don’t be about Harper, don’t be about Harper, don’t be- _

“Harper’s been acting a little strange.”

_ Fuck it. _

“Harper  _ is  _ a little strange.”

Bobby answered with a small grin, trying to keep the conversation light.

“You guys got pretty close in the Villa.”

Lucas pointed out, and Bobby swallowed hard. 

“Yeah, I guess we did.”

He waited for Lucas to say more, but he just watched as Rahim tried some ridiculous trick shot behind his back and instead shot the ball straight off the table.

“Did you have a question?”

“Maybe? I don’t know. I suppose I’m just wondering if she’s said anything to you. About me. About me and her. I know you still talk.”

Lucas was the most unsure that Bobby had ever seen him, and his stomach ached with the guilt that surged over him.  _ He _ had done that. He was the reason Harper had been ‘a little strange’ and now that he was face to face with Lucas, he didn’t feel the thrill that he did when he was with Harper, it didn’t turn him on. It made him feel sick and he almost,  _ almost _ spilled his guts to the other man right there and then.

He composed himself and smiled at Lucas, offering a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.

“She hasn’t said anything to me about you. I’m sure it’s nothing.”

Lucas studied him closely, and it looked as though an idea was dawning on him.

“You still talk quite a lot, don't you?”

“I guess? Mostly text messages.”

“You called her a few weeks ago though. I saw your name on her screen before she left the room to take the call.”

This didn’t feel right. This felt as though Lucas was pressing for details, and it was making Bobby incredibly uncomfortable. 

“Um. Yeah. I did.”

“About this trip?”

“Yep.”

“To let her know you were attending?”

_ To convince her that it was okay for me to attend even though she wanted me not to because she didn’t want her boyfriend and fuck buddy hanging out. _

“She, um, she sent me a text asking if I was coming. I was busy so I called her back to make it quicker.”

He lied.

“I see. I wonder why she wanted to know if you were coming.”

Bobby held back a frustrated sigh and just gave a small shrug.

“Mate, I couldn’t tell you why she does what she does. You know her better than I do.”

_ Even though you don’t. Even though I know fucking me has ruined fucking you for her. _

“You were coupled up on the first day, right?”

Lucas was looking at him suspiciously, and Bobby remembered that trust was an issue with him. It would only take the tiniest thought to enter his mind, and Bobby thought that he’d be relentless until he found out exactly what was going on between them. He had to be careful, he had to play it cool, but not so cool that it was obvious that he was hiding something.

“Yeah for all of a night, until Priya coupled up with me. Honestly, it was so long ago mate and after that I really didn’t spend much time with her.”

_ Lies. _

Lucas nodded slowly and finally looked away, returning his attention back to the pool table.

“I see.”

I see!? What the fuck did ‘I see’ mean? Bobby desperately wanted to just come out and ask him what he was getting at, but if he looked as though he thought Lucas was getting at something, Lucas might think,  _ know _ , there was something to get at. Still, he wanted to shake the taller man by the shoulders and ask him what he was implying. So instead he just subtly moved away to stand closer to Gary, who narrowed his eyes over at him. He couldn’t win.

\--

Bobby was positively buzzing by the time Gary finally allowed them to call it a night, and all of them crammed into the lift, headed up to the suite that Lucas had gotten for them. His worries about Lucas had disappeared as quickly as they’d popped up when the other man didn’t question him again, and Bobby was finally able to relax and just spent time with his mates. Until they stepped into the suite and Gary grabbed him by the elbow, a stern look on his otherwise drunk face.

“A word?”

Bobby let out an exaggerated sigh and let Gary lead him away, dragging his feet dramatically as he went.

“Sooo unfaaaair.”

He whined, but Gary wasn’t amused. He pulled him into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. Bobby looked around, amused.

“I tried this with Priya. It didn’t get me into her pants, and it’s not gonna get you into mine.”

He grinned at Gary, who just rolled his eyes.

“It’s not over, is it?”

“You and me? I mean it never really began, so I guess not. If you wanna give it a try, get a few more shots into me and I might be down.”

Gary fought to keep a straight face, but in the end couldn’t help but to let a small chuckle out.

“Real talk, mate. You and Harper.”

“Mm, me and Harper what?”

“What’s going on?”

“Your questions are random.”

“What is going on with you and Harper?”

Gary spelled out slowly, and Bobby shrugged.

“Being that there is no me and Harper, I say again; your questions are random.”

“So it’s done?”

“I told you that. Ages ago.”

“So why have you been avoiding Lucas like he’s got the plague?”

“Well it’s still a little weird, isn’t it?”

He leaned close to whisper to Gary.

“I fucked his girlfriend.”

“You said you didn’t fuck her.”

“No I didn’t.”

“Yeah you did. You said you did other stuff.”

“Oh.”

Bobby faltered, and he racked his brain with a way to explain his fuck up. Gary and Priya knew him probably better than anyone else in the Villa, he should’ve known that Gary was the one he’d need to watch his mouth around, not Lucas.

“You fucked her!?”

“Shhh, fuck’s sake mate.”

Bobby clamped a hand over his mouth in a panic to shut him up.

“You’ve seen her again?”

Gary continued, his voice muffled by Bobby’s hand.

“Maybe.”

He watched Gary expectantly as he lowered his hand.

“Yes.”

He admitted, giving up on trying to fool his friend.

“Bobby… what the fuck? You’re the last person I’d expect-”

“I’m always the last person anyone would expect, alright? It’s good to be the one that someone wants for a change. It’s good to be someone that someone is willing to fuck things up for. I’m always the one that gets screwed over for someone hotter, it feels good to be on the other side of it.”

“You gotta end it, man.”

Bobby sighed and looked down at his feet. Gary had killed his buzz and he was not happy about it.

“I know, and I will.”

“Like, as soon as we get home.”

Bobby just nodded. He knew Gary was right, of course. He knew it had to end. In the back of his mind he always knew, but he was willing to keep fooling himself for as long as he could. He wasn’t ready to go back to being goofy Bobby, cute Bobby, friend zoned Bobby.

“I will. Just don’t say anything, please.”

Gary looked at him incredulously.

“You’re being a dickhead, but you’re still my mate. Lucas would kill you. I’m not going to say anything.”

_ Lucas would kill you. _

Maybe that was a good thing, because Bobby wasn’t sure that he could handle the fall out. Gary was right. He had to end it before Lucas found out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Thoughts, feelings, concerns? Good or bad, you can find me on Reddit u/ffkatbee and my inbox is always open!


	14. Chapter 14

The conversations with Lucas and Gary were weighing on Bobby’s mind. Gary was right, his relationship - or whatever it was - with Harper needed to end. Lucas was obviously suspicious, and he didn’t seem like the forgiving, go with the flow type. He was helping to clean the kitchen at the shelter after lunch time on his day off, but he was distracted. Distracted by thinking about Harper, about what Gary had said to him, and by trying to figure out how Lucas might have reacted if Bobby had actually come clean about everything to him. Eventually the other volunteers got sick of him being too in his own head to actually be of any use and sent him on his way. He stepped out on to the street and turned to head home when a female voice called out behind him.

“Robert McKenzie.”

He frowned at the use of his full name and spun around, his eyes scouring the crowd before settling on a familiar blue eyed brunette.

“Holy shit, Natasha Sawyer.”

She grinned and pushed past the people between them until she was standing in front of him.

“So you remember me.”

“‘Course I remember you.”

He grinned back and wrapped her up in a hug. Natasha had never made it into the main Villa, and as such hadn’t been invited to the same interviews he had been, but they had spent the entirety of Casa Amor together. She’d had her eye on Bobby the second the new girls walked into the Villa, and even though Bobby had insisted on staying loyal to Priya, they’d shared a bed as mates and had been in a friendship couple the whole time. Tash and her sense of humour had been the only thing keeping him sane throughout missing the other girls and dealing with the Jakub/Emily/Siobhan drama.

“I heard you and Priya didn’t work out.”

She studied him sympathetically, and he gave a small shrug.

“It is what it is.”

She held a hand out and looked at him expectantly.

“Give me your phone.”

“Why?”

Even as he asked he pulled his phone out of his pocket, unlocking it and handing it over to her.

“I’m giving you my number. We should hang out.”

She typed her number into his phone and gave it back.

“How long are you in town for?”

She shot him a small smirk, then examined her fingernails, feigning boredom.

“Probably a while seeing as I live here now.”

“You do fucking not.”

“I do fucking so. No sending me on my way this time so you can rush back to some girl who doesn’t deserve you.”

She winked at him and started walking away, looking back to point at the phone in his hand.

“Use it.”

She grinned and turned away, and Bobby watched as she disappeared into the crowd. He smirked to himself and waited a few seconds before dialling the number she’d entered into his phone.

“This is Natasha.”

She answered, and he laughed.

“Your phone voice is so polite when you don’t know who’s calling.”

“Bobby?”

“Given your number to a lot of Scottish lads since you’ve been here, have you?”

“Jeez, eager much?”

“Had to make sure you didn’t give me a fake number didn’t I?”

“As if. You’re the one that wasn’t interested. Ah got tae stay loyal tae me Priya, lassie.”

She pulled an exaggerated Scottish accent and Bobby cringed as he laughed with her.

“Never do that again.”

“Well now you know you have my real number. Are you satisfied?”

“Very.”

“Good, now stop being a weirdo. You’re supposed to wait three days.”

“Three days!? I’ll forget you by then.”

“Save it in your calendar.”

Bobby sighed dramatically.

“I guess I can clear some time for you.”

“See that you do. We have to pick up where we left off now that you’re ‘single and ready to mingle’.”

She teased.

“But seriously, don’t wait three days. Call me tonight.”

“Yes ma’am.”

\--

Bobby was in a significantly better mood for the rest of the afternoon, and had even managed to forget about his Harper dilemma until he received a message from her.

_ What did u say to Lucas? _

He rolled his eyes. It had been a rather pleasant afternoon without her swimming around in his brain.

_ Nothing. _

He sent back. For some reason he couldn’t really be bothered with the drama, he wasn’t getting the same rush out of talking to her in secret that he usually did.

_ He’s acting weird. _

His thought back to his talk with Lucas and wondered if maybe he was a little more suspicious than he’d let on. Bobby had thought he’d managed to talk any of his doubts away, but perhaps not.

_ He said the same thing about u. _

Before he could even set his phone back down Harper was calling him, and Bobby groaned in frustration.

“What?”

He answered, quite a bit harsher than he had meant to.

“Jesus, now who’s got no manners?”

“Sorry. I’m busy, what do you want? I didn’t say anything to him.”

He answered impatiently. He couldn’t work out why he couldn’t wait to get her off the phone.

“He said I’m acting weird?”

“Yeah. Asked me if you’d said anything to me since he knows we still talk a lot. It was a bit uncomfortable if I’m honest.”

“I told you not to go.”

She was right, and he let out a sigh.

“I know.”

“Do you think he knows something?”

“I have no idea, Harper. If he does, he didn’t say anything to me. Just asked if I knew what was up, questioned how often I talk to you and I barely spoke to him again.”

She huffed, and the sound annoyed Bobby.

“Don’t get pissy with me.”

“Well I did tell you not to go! I knew it was a bad idea!”

“You know what’s a bad idea? Sleeping with someone else when you’re in a relationship. You’re obviously not happy with him so why don’t you just break up with him and save all three of us the hassle?”

“I can’t just break up with him.”

“Because…?”

“Oh come on, how’s that going to look? Breaking up a few months after the show ends, then getting with you.”

Her admission stunned Bobby into silence for a second. He’d always known that she was hyper-aware of how she came across to other people, but he hadn’t realised that she’d be willing to cheat and lie just to make sure her image wasn’t harmed. He already knew that Lucas was the better choice in just about every way but he wasn’t prepared for her to agree with him and basically admit that she wasn’t about to publicly downgrade.

She noticed his silence and let out a sigh.

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Sure you didn’t.”

“Bobby-”

“Just work out which one of us you want, okay? It can’t go on like this forever, so you either want to keep your social standing and stay with him, or you’re willing to slum it with me.”

"It's not like that."

"I don't really care what it's like, just figure out what you're doing."

He hung up on her before she could answer. He didn't want to get into a fight over it, though he found he didn't care what she thought of him as much as he probably should have.

He had thought in the beginning that he was falling for her, but the more time he spent with her the more obvious it became that there was not much there beyond sex. He'd felt it when they'd been coupled up in the Villa too; a sneaking suspicion that they'd have fun together but grow tired of each other too quickly for anything real to come of it.

He turned his phone over in his hands, wanting to go back to the way he felt before he’d heard from her. He unlocked it and scrolled through his contacts, stopping at Tash’s name and staring at it. It was seeing her that had put him in a good mood for the day, he realised. Being able to talk to her and flirt with her in public and remembering what a good time he’d had with her in the Villa and how she’d helped to get his mind off of Priya while she was gone.

He tapped on her name before he could talk himself out of it. He really shouldn’t be starting anything considering the mess he’d gotten himself into with Harper, but there was no harm in hanging out with the girl. He knew that she liked him but she’d been okay with being mates in the Villa, there was no reason to think she’d be expecting anything more now.

“So you’ve managed to squeeze me into your busy schedule?”

She answered after only a couple of rings.

“I told all the other girls they needed to step aside for the night, I need to spend time with my Casa Amor mate.”

“Still playing the mate card are we?”

“For now.”

_ What the hell was that? _

“Alright, hard to get, I get it. I’ll play along. You wanna come around and give me a hand with a box?”

Bobby let out a snort of laughter.

“Was that innuendo?”

“Maybe. But really I’m still settling in so if I get the chance I’m going to draft you into helping me unpack.”

Bobby let out a loud sigh and pretended to debate his options for a moment.

“I guess I can help you with your box. I expect dinner though.”

“Jesus Christ man, first you mug me off in the Villa, now you’ve friend zoned me on the outside and after all that you expect me to feed you?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“You’re lucky you’re cute.”

“I know, right? I’d have to do things for myself if I wasn’t so devilishly handsome.”

“I said cute.”

“I know, I forgive you.”

“You’re more full of yourself than I remember.”

“Well you never requested my assistance with your box before. A question like that can swell up a guy’s, you know. Ego.”

“You’re awful.”

“Yeah, but you love it.”

She laughed over the phone, and it wasn’t lost on Bobby how easy it was to be his usual self around her.

“Right, I’ll text you the address so you don’t get lost.”

“I was born here.”

“By lost I meant distracted by the flocks of women undoubtedly following your every move.”

“Right, right. Good thinking.”

“I’ll see you soon, Bobby.”

She hung up and a second later a text came through with her address on it, it turned out she was only a five minute drive away.

He wasn't nervous about going to see her, and there wasn't a second of awkwardness when he arrived at her flat and she immediately put him to work unpacking boxes in her kitchen. When he was done he made his way down the hall and leaned against the door frame of her bedroom, watching as she placed the last of a pile of cushions on her bed.

She waved her hands at him when she was done and stepped out, closing the door behind her.

"Oi, the bedroom's not for mates' eyes."

She told him as she headed back to the living room and threw herself on the couch in exhaustion. He sat beside her and raised an eyebrow at her.

"What?"

She mirrored his expression.

"I was promised food."

He stated matter-of-factly and she rolled her eyes.

"Yeah yeah. I already ordered pizza.”

A soon as she said it the doorbell rang, and she jumped to her feet to answer it. She re-entered the room holding a pizza and set it on the couch in between them. They grabbed a slice each and Tash tucked her leg up underneath her as she turned to face him on the couch, watching him curiously for a moment.

“I know I’m hot, but you could be a little more subtle if you’re just gonna sit there staring at me.”

She laughed and took a bite of her pizza.

“I’m trying to figure you out.”

She told him, still watching him intently.

“What about me? Maybe I can help.”

“There’s no Priya in the picture?”

“Nope.”

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

He glanced over at her, suddenly paranoid that she knew exactly what he’d been getting up to and who he’d been getting up to it with.

“No.”

He answered slowly, waiting for her to get to the point.

“So you just genuinely don’t like me, then?”

“What? I like you.”

“Of course you like me, I’m fucking awesome. But you don’t  _ like  _ me, you know?”

“Oh.”

The truth was that he hadn’t allowed himself the possibility of liking her in the Villa, because despite being coupled up with Marisol, he was still very much attached to Priya at the time.

“I guess, when we met I  _ couldn’t  _ like you, so I didn’t.”

He voiced his thoughts as best he could.

“And now?”

He fell silent, unsure how to answer her properly. Technically he was single, he could do whatever he wanted with whoever he wanted. But a part of him didn’t want to do that to Harper; just find someone else behind her back and be done with her after she was risking her own relationship to have… whatever it was they had.

“Now it’s complicated.”

“So you do have a girlfriend?”

“I don’t.”

“You have your eye on someone?”

“Not exactly.”

She frowned, and he could see her trying to work out what was going on.

“You’re right, it sounds complicated.”

He laughed and she paused before speaking again.

“You know I like you, right?”

She had made it abundantly clear in the Villa that she liked him, and if he’d met her under normal circumstances, she was exactly the type of girl he usually found himself drawn to. She was confident and outgoing and she could not only keep up with his jokes but she could give them back without missing a beat.

"Yeah."

He admitted, and she smiled at him and gave him a small nod.

“Just keep it in mind when it gets un-complicated, okay?”

After all this time dealing with Harper and her uncertainty about what she wanted between them and where she saw things going, Tash’s straightforward attitude was refreshing and he found himself entertaining the idea that maybe he could  _ like  _ her. But not now. Not while his love/sex life was such a mess.

He had just walked back out onto the street when he received another message. At first he assumed it was Tash and he smiled, but the smile faded when he saw Harper's name on the screen.

_ I'm sorry _

He desperately wanted to ignore it but as had come to be the case with her, he knew he couldn't ignore her for long. He had no real, solid feelings for her but he still felt somehow drawn to her.

_ It's alright _

He typed back half heartedly. Anything to avoid an argument.

_ I want to see u _

Bobby glanced back over his shoulder towards Tash's apartment and briefly saw her silhouette moving past the window behind the drawn curtains. He felt guilty again, but this time it hadn't been brought on by thinking about Lucas and he didn't understand it.

_ I can be there for a night on the weekend _

He sent back with a small sigh. He knew that he could hum and haw about it all he liked, but there was no way he was going to turn her down after she'd asked for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Thoughts, feelings, concerns? Good or bad, you can find me on Reddit u/ffkatbee and my inbox is always open!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** Smut in this chapter, 18+ only.

Bobby stepped out of the cab and glanced up at the now familiar motel. This time Harper hadn’t bothered to come and meet him, instead trusting that he knew where he was going enough to meet her there. There was an odd sensation stirring in his gut as he made his way into the motel and headed for the room he’d shared with her on his last trip.

Something had shifted between them, but he couldn’t quite pick what it was. He knew that what she'd said on the phone had stung a bit and he wasn't sure what he expected, from either of them. Was she unhappy with him? Would he even be able to look at her when he knew that deep down she thought she was too good for him?

He rapped his knuckles on the door and barely had to wait a few seconds before she pulled it open, grinning at him and completely naked. He opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out as his eyes slowly made their way down over every inch of her exposed skin.

"Are you gonna get in here or are you waiting for someone to walk past and see me?"

She asked, raising an eyebrow at him. He cleared his throat and returned his eyes to hers, shooting her a grin.

"I'm gonna get in there."

He answered, stepping in close to her and slamming the door shut behind him. Her arms wound around his neck as she kissed him and he lifted his hands to undo the buttons of his shirt as she pulled him further back into the room. He’d been considering just talking to her, and explaining to her that they weren’t working the way they were, and that if she wasn’t willing to leave Lucas he didn’t want to continue whatever it was they were doing. But her greeting him at the door naked and the way she was kissing him, almost desperately, had muted the ideas in his head and now all he could think about was the quickest way he could get himself naked and inside of her.

He tangled his fingers into her hair and pulled it roughly, forcing her head back so that he could kiss over her neck as her hands slid down to undo his pants and push them down. He kicked them away and slid his hands down to her thighs, getting a grip on her and hoisting her up onto his hips while she wrapped her legs around him.

“I wanted to talk to you.”

He muttered before she kissed him again, and he walked her over to the nearest wall and pushed her against it, pinning her there with his hips.

“We can talk after.”

She told him with a smile, leaning forward to catch his lower lip between her teeth and tug on it gently. He growled and grinded his hips into her, somewhat satisfied with the small whimper she let out as she released his lip.

“After what?”

He knew exactly what she meant of course, but he just wanted to hear her say it again. There was something about hearing a girl like Harper, who had a guy like Lucas, telling a guy like Bobby that she wanted him to fuck her that got him going, and even though he tried not to be that guy, he just couldn’t help himself whenever he was around her.

She groaned and rested her head back against the wall.

“Do you really need me to say it?”

“Yeah, I really do.”

He pushed his hips harder against hers as he released his hands from where they were gripping her sides and let them trail up to cup her breasts and squeeze them. He always reacted to her almost instantly, but it still surprised him that she could get him hard so fast just by being around him. He was grateful that he hadn’t known this side of her in the Villa, or it would’ve made the already uncomfortable lack of sex situation unbearable. He definitely would have broken the no masturbation rule.

She smirked at him and leaned forward to whisper in his ear, letting her lips brush against his earlobe and making him shiver.

“After you’ve fucked me.”

He grinned at her and moved his hands back down to her hips, holding her still as he pushed himself into her, not even stopping to give her a chance to adjust to him before he picked up a fast pace. He didn’t know if he loved or hated how desperate, almost panicked, she made him, but it wasn’t something he felt like he had any control over.

He hoisted her up a little more to get a better angle and she gasped, resting her head back against the wall again and letting her eyes fall closed. He let his head drop down to rest on her chest as he felt his mind going blank, when out of nowhere what she'd said to him on the phone came crashing back and his rhythm faltered. He lifted his head to find her looking at him in confusion and pulled out of her, setting her feet back down on the floor. Before she could ask him what he was doing he spun her around and pushed her back against the wall.

"You wanna get fucked, eh?"

He breathed against the back of her neck, taking her hands in his and placing them against the wall. She nodded and glanced over her shoulder at him. He pushed her into an arch as he ran his hand down her spine.

"What, have I screwed the voice out of you already?"

She whined and pushed back against him.

"Yes I wanna get fucked."

"Better."

He didn't recognise his own voice again, and as he watched his hands grip her hips and pull her back onto him he felt as though they were someone else's hands. It was like he was watching his body move and listening to himself talk but he wasn't in control of any of it.

It was something that had both scared him and turned him on in the beginning, but now it just scared him and he fought to gain control of himself. He wanted to stop and tell her that he didn't want her like this, he didn't want to screw Lucas over like this, and he didn't want her having control over him and forcing this version of himself out anymore. But he couldn't bring himself to stop, or say any of it.

Even as he watched his dick sliding in and out of her and her body jerking back towards the wall, her arms barely keeping her from hitting it with the force of his hips slamming into her, he knew he was mad at her. He thought he hadn't wanted to fuck her, but he'd made the trip anyway and so he was mad at himself, too. Mad for starting it, and mad for continuing it.

A loud moan from Harper dragged him out of his own head and he felt his cock twitch inside of her when her hips pushed back harder against him and she started to come. His knees went weak and he leaned over her to brace himself on the wall with one hand as she rolled her hips back against his erratically.

Once she relaxed again he pulled back out of her and tugged on her hair lightly to get her to straighten up. She turned to face him and he kissed her hard, his hand still on the back of her head, and then guided her down onto her knees. She took him into her mouth straight away and he sighed as he returned his hand to the wall to hold himself up, the other remaining on the back of her head.

She didn't think he was good enough for her, that was fine. They both knew he could make her come like Lucas couldn't though and he wanted the same thing from her. He wanted her to make him feel so good that nothing and no one else mattered. He needed to still be able to justify their arrangement to himself now that it was clear that neither of them really liked each other enough to warrant what they were doing.

He pushed her against him as he thrust into her, fucking her face and feeling himself shudder when her low moan resonated around him. It seemed to take forever but he finally came down the back of her throat, gaining a disturbing sense of satisfaction when she gagged on him. He held her down where she was until she'd literally sucked him dry, then released her and took a step back at the same time.

"Jesus Christ, did you miss me or something?"

She asked with a small laugh, getting to her feet and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Or something."

He replied with a weak smile, stepping backwards to the small couch behind him and collapsing onto it. She frowned and came to sit beside him.

"Are you okay?"

He studied his hands for a moment before looking up at her.

"What'd you mean by how would it look leaving him for me?"

He asked, and she sighed and shifted closer to him, but Bobby swore he saw her roll her eyes just slightly.

"I didn't mean anything by it."

"I think you meant I'm the kind of guy you want to sleep with, but he's the kind of guy you want to be seen with."

She didn't answer, and after a while he looked away.

"Not even gonna try to deny it, huh?"

"What do you want me to say, Bobby?"

"I just want you to say it like it is."

"Fine, you're right, okay? I don't plan on breaking up with Lucas."

"So why get me back here?"

She paused and shifted closer to him, and he tried half heartedly to move away but he was already against the side of the couch.

"Because I really like you. I know it's messed up, but I do."

She slid a hand across his chest and he fidgeted uncomfortably despite her touch leaving tingles on his skin.

"You know this can't go on forever though."

He repeated what he'd said to her on the phone and she shrugged before leaning over to kiss his neck.

"I'm just asking you to ride it out with me while it does last."

"And Lucas?"

The other man's name left a bitter taste in his mouth that he almost choked on as Harper swung a leg over his hips and straddled him.

"He doesn't have to know everything about me."

Her hand trailed down to stroke him softly and he groaned at the annoying realisation that even though he was frustrated with her, his body was already up for round two.

"Harps, come on. Not while we're talking about you and him."

Even as he said it his eyes fell closed and all of his senses focused back in on her.

"He doesn't make me feel as good as you do."

He tried to stop her hand from moving on him and getting him harder. At least, he would've tried if he had any control over what he was doing. Instead he stroked his fingers up and down her thighs and let her move her hand faster. He was aware, in the rational part of his mind, that she was getting him going again deliberately. She wanted to fuck him to shut him up, because she didn't want to have the conversation.

But as she lifted herself and then sank back down onto him, rolling her hips in a slow circle as she went, the part of him that cared grew a little quieter. But this time it didn't completely disappear. She leaned down to kiss him but he jerked his head back away from her, forcing himself to meet her eyes.

"This… isn't right."

She circled her hips again, drawing a moan out of him.

"It feels right though, don't you think?"

She murmured, moving her hands to grip his shoulders as she started to ride him.

He couldn't disagree, not while they were in the middle of sex. Sex with her was unlike sex with anyone else he'd ever been with, and he was almost addicted to it. Everything else about them was wrong. They didn't particularly get along anymore even, and his heart sank at the same moment she moaned into his mouth when it dawned on him that he'd lost a good friend after all.

He didn't want to enjoy it, but he couldn't deny how fucking good she felt, clenching around him and seeming to draw him deeper inside of her everytime she landed back down in his lap.

One of his hands subconsciously slid up to her neck, his fingers wrapping around and forcing her harder down onto him.

She gasped as her body jerked towards his. He brought his other hand down between her legs, hovering his thumb just above her clit so that it brushed her lightly whenever she brought herself back down.

“Come on Bobby, please.”

She whined, trying to move towards his hand but he used his fingers to keep her just too far away.

“Please what?”

He tightened his other hand and felt her throat working as she swallowed and rasped out an answer.

“Touch me, please.”

He started to oblige but then changed his mind. She'd pissed him off, and now he didn't want to do her any favours. He pulled her towards him with the hand on her neck.

"Touch yourself."

He whispered in her ear before releasing her and leaning back against the couch, returning both of his hands to her hips. She let out a frustrated groan and he watched as she moved her own hand down to circle her clit herself. He took over the pace, holding her hips tightly to move her up and down on him, his eyes glued to her fingers quickly switching from controlled circles to more frantic movements.

"Christ… that's fucking hot."

He groaned as his fingers dug deeper into her skin. She whimpered and swore under breath as she came again, Bobby following a few seconds behind her. He winced and held her down against him as she squirmed, trying to roll her hips as her release swept over her. She clamped down on him so hard that when he came it hurt after he'd already come so recently and he could barely distinguish the line between pleasurable pain and just pain.

Eventually he go of her, and she pulled herself off of him and got to her feet. She turned and walked towards the bathroom and he heard the shower start. A second later she popped her head around the doorway.

"Are you joining me or not?"

_Not._

He managed to convince himself not to for longer than he had any other time she asked for him, but after a few minutes he found himself standing up and his legs carried him to the bathroom and into the shower with her.

\--

Sharing a bed with her felt weird. Apparently only to Bobby though, as Harper was snuggled up against him, already close to falling asleep. He didn't entirely understand his own discomfort, other than for the fact that every minute with her now felt like a waste of time. He'd always known that she'd be stupid to break up with Lucas for him, and was already unsure that he'd even want to legitimately be with her, but now knowing the reason behind her decision was eating at him, and he couldn't help but think back to what Priya had told him.

_You deserve more than to be someone's dirty little secret._

He'd known that himself at the time despite Priya demolishing a big chunk of his confidence, but somehow that's exactly what he'd let himself end up being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Thoughts, feelings, concerns? Good or bad, you can find me on Reddit u/ffkatbee and my inbox is always open!


	16. Chapter 16

Harper stared at the last two messages on her phone, her brow furrowed in concern.

_ We need to talk. _

_ I’ll drop around after work. _

She checked the time in the top corner of the screen. Lucas would’ve finished up at work almost half an hour ago, he’d be walking through the door any minute. He’d never sent a ‘we need to talk’ message before, and she didn’t know what to make of it.

Things had been going okay between them, she thought. They were definitely missing the hot and heavy intensity that their relationship had been in the Villa, but none of them could have expected things to continue on in the same way once they were back to their normal lives. Her thoughts would every so often shift to what Bobby had told her; that Lucas had said that she’d been acting weird, but she’d push them away just as quickly as she remembered them. She’d been paying particular attention since then to the way she behaved around him, making sure not to be too distant or too clingy and set off any alarm bells that may be armed and ready to go in his mind.

Deep down she knew that this thing she had with Bobby had to stop eventually. But he was the part of Lucas that she was missing. Her and Lucas had it in the beginning, but it had quickly died out once they had to go back to their jobs and had family and friends to carve out time for. Lucas was her rock, her stability and her future. Bobby was her spark, just for now. If she let herself really think about it, she wasn’t sure she was  _ in love _ with either of them. But she loved them both, in their own respective ways.

She heard the door handle turn and Lucas walked in without so much as a hello to her, and straight away she knew something was wrong. She stepped closer to him and he looked up at her, his icy expression sending a chill down her spine.

“Is everything okay?”

She asked hesitantly, and Lucas rolled his eyes and set his keys and wallet down on the hall stand beside him.

“Depends.”

He answered shortly, unlocking his phone and scrolling through something on his screen.

“Care to explain this?”

He held his phone up to her and she took it out of his hand, squinting at the brightly lit screen until her eyes focused - right in on a photo of her and Bobby standing outside the motel. He was getting into a cab, but she hadn’t quite let go of his hand yet. Her stomach turned into a lead weight and her vision blurred, forcing her to look away from the phone. She handed it back to him and cleared her throat with a small shrug, hoping her voice didn’t come out as weak as she felt.

“It’s a photo of me and Bobby. You knew I was still talking to him.”

“Talking, yes. Meeting up, two days ago, at a motel, that same day that you told me your friend needed you for some girl time? No.”

“I- How do you know that was two days ago?”

“Because that was when Pat was in the area on a walk with one of his rehab patients and saw you. He was too slow with his phone to snap a picture of the kiss, but he thought I still might want to see this one.”

“The what?”

Lucas sighed and locked his phone again, slipping it into his back pocket.

“I’m not an idiot, Harper.”

“I know that.”

“So don’t treat me like one. You haven’t wanted to touch me in weeks. You’ve been distant and secretive. You leave the room to take his phone calls.”

Harper’s gaze dropped to the floor in front of her feet. She was at a loss for words. She could have explained the rest of it away, but that photo.

“I’m sorry.”

She murmured, almost under her breath. Lucas stared at her in stunned silence.

“Wow. I thought you might put up a bit more of a fight than that. So you have been sleeping with him?”

Her mind raced and she looked back up at him. Maybe there was still a chance to salvage this.

“Just once.”

He had to believe her. She didn’t know what she’d do if he didn’t believe her.

“Oh. Oh,  _ just  _ once, is it? I guess it’s alright then.”

He rolled his eyes again and turned away from her, snatching his things back up off of the hall stand.

“Lucas! You have to let me-”

“What? Explain? You expect me to stand here and listen to you justifying the fact that you fucked someone else behind my back? When you  _ knew  _ how much it had taken me to trust you. You watched me pack up my  _ entire life  _ to be closer to you. And then you fucked Bobby. Bobby!”

He shook his head.

“Fuck you, and fuck him. We’re done.”

He turned away and opened the door, ignoring her when she tried to call out to him again and slamming the door hard behind him. 

She stared at the closed door for a moment. She couldn’t believe that he’d actually walked out on her without giving her a chance to explain. Not that she knew what she could have possibly said to have made it better.

“Fuck!”

She yelled at the door, then spun on her heel and snatched her phone from where it sat on the couch. She wasn't upset. She was furious. She scrolled through her contact list, tapped Bobby's name and waited.

"Not a great time, Harps."

He answered, and the female voice in the background only served to further piss her off.

“Lucas knows.”

“Lucas knows wha-”

He stopped abruptly and she heard him mutter something to whoever he was with. He waited a few minutes before speaking again.

“How?”

“Some guy he works with saw us. Took a fucking photo.”

“Alright, calm down.”

“Calm down!?”

Who the hell was he to tell her to calm down? It’s not like she’d called to complain that McDonalds had left her fries out of her order.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“It’s supposed to mean calm down. I said it in plain English, Harps.”

“Now isn’t the time for your stupid fucking jokes.”

There was a pause and she let out a noisy, irritated sigh.

“I’m not talking to you while you’re like this.”

He said simply after a moment, and then the call ended.

He’d hung up on her. First Lucas walked out on her, now Bobby had hung up on her. She stared at her phone in disbelief. That was the second time he’d hung up on her, and she wasn’t happy about it. She sat down on the couch with a huff and typed out a message to him.

_ I’m sorry, I’m freaking out. _

She considered sending something to Lucas, but she didn’t even know what she could send to him. Before she could think about it too much, Bobby was calling her and she answered immediately.

“Don’t get pissy with me about it, alright? I didn’t tell him.”

He sounded beyond annoyed.

“I know, I’m sorry.”

There was a pause, and she noticed there was only silence in the background.

“Sorry if you had company.”

She said quietly, and he cleared his throat.

“I, um. It’s okay. Was just catching up with a mate.”

She waited for more details, but he changed the subject.

“So we should probably cool it for a while, right?”

Harper frowned to herself. Was she really being broken up with twice in one night?

“Can we talk about this tomorrow?”

“Yeah, sure, of course.”

Bobby replied, and she heard what sounded like a door open and shut on his end, and then the same female voice as before. It sounded as though she was asking if he was okay. Bobby spoke back to her, his voice muffled, and then got louder again.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow. I’m really sorry, Harper. I never meant to screw everything up for you.”

She ended the call and sat staring at the darkened screen for a long time, absentmindedly tapping her fingernails on the arm of the couch. She didn’t want to cool it with Bobby. In fact she probably could have used him being around right at that moment. Even if it was only sex, it was good enough to take her mind off of just about everything else.

She also didn’t want things with Lucas to be over. She’d already planned a future with Lucas and she was now quite attached to what that future looked like. If things ended with him,  _ and  _ Bobby decided to call off their arrangement, she’d be left with nothing. The only person from the Villa that she spoke to anymore - other than for the obligatory interviews - was Lottie, and even she had been looking at her differently these days. Harper hadn't told her friend that the Bobby situation was not only continuing, but escalating, but Lottie seemed to know something wasn’t right, and it made her act differently towards Harper. Almost as though she thought less of her.

She remembered how shocked Lottie had been when she’d first found out that Harper and Bobby had fooled around, giving a big speech about how she thought Harper was a loyal person and better than that, and how much trouble she had seeing Bobby as someone who would do such a thing. Harper hadn’t seen it either until it had happened, and now it was almost all she thought about and she struggled to work out how she hadn’t seen any hints towards this side of him in the Villa.

Another potential spanner in the works was the possibility that Bobby would grow tired of the drama and either simply ghost her, or find someone else that he could legitimately be with. That worry was only emphasized by the knowledge that he was, right now, hanging out with a girl while Harper sat alone in her flat. Maybe this other girl  _ was _ just a mate, but maybe she wasn’t.

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair, deciding that tomorrow was a new day. She would get in touch with Lucas and, if she had to, beg him to give her another chance. Failing that, she would have to try and work out what Bobby’s intentions were with her. Maybe she could spin the breakup in a positive direction if Lucas refused to hear her out. Maybe it could give her a chance to make a go of something that she never should have let go in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Thoughts, feelings, concerns? Good or bad, you can find me on Reddit u/ffkatbee and my inbox is always open!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always to Esme for her never ending support.
> 
> Also thank you so so SO much to veritasLItg for nominating, and everyone who seconded/thirded/upvoted/etc and got this featured on Reddit ❤❤ Love you guys!!

To say the past few months had been overwhelming and confusing for Bobby would be an understatement. He’d never been so into something that he knew was so wrong before and while in the beginning it had been a boost for him, it was slowly beginning to wear him down and make him second guess himself.

He hadn't realised how unhappy he'd become until he started hanging out with Tash, and she reminded him of the way he used to be, and how he used to be able to make any situation fun. Most of the time Harper didn't have time for his jokes anymore, and if he was being completely honest he was usually too focused on getting in her pants to be bothered with humour himself.

Even though he was insistent on him and Tash just being friends, he hadn't been able to ignore the panic that had shot through him when he'd been with her when Harper called. He didn't want Tash knowing about her, he didn't even want her theorising about her. He wanted to keep them as separate as he could.

He’d just returned home from work in the early hours of the afternoon and was considering a quick shower before running over to see Tash, like he did just about every afternoon now. They'd unknowingly fallen into a routine of Bobby going to hang out with her after work, as their hours were similar. It usually consisted of him taking over her kitchen and cooking dinner for the both of them, and then staying far too late watching stupid comedies on TV with her and cracking jokes between them until their sides hurt from laughter.

He’d just pulled his shirt off when someone knocked on the door, and he huffed in frustration. He'd been wondering how long it'd take for Jonno to come around to question why they hadn't seen him at the pub for a while.

Instead of Jonno's face looking back at him when he pulled the door open, he was met with Lucas’ scowl and took a subconscious step back. He cleared his throat and nodded, resigning himself to the fact that he was probably about to get beaten up.

“I wondered when I’d be seeing you.”

“I bet you did.”

Lucas answered coldly, stepping inside without waiting to be invited and closing the door behind him.

“Look, mate-”

Lucas held a finger up to cut him off as he walked past Bobby and further into the room.

“ _ Don’t  _ call me mate.”

Bobby stayed quiet, watching nervously as Lucas turned in a slow circle, studying the flat before finally letting his eyes rest on him.

"Did you already know you wanted to fuck her when we stayed here? When I left you alone with her overnight?"

"I- I stopped her. I mean, I stopped her that time. I didn't mean for it to continue after the first time, I swear."

There was no point lying, Bobby knew. And Lucas at least deserved honesty from him for once. The expression on the other man's face changed though, and Bobby became confused. Harper said that he knew, so why did he look like he was just finding out?

"Continue?"

Lucas asked slowly, and Bobby just stared at him, unsure how to answer. What was going on?

"How many fucking times have you slept with her?"

Bobby paused, well aware of how inappropriate it would be for him to ask Lucas to give him a minute to work it out.

"Uh, after London I've been to Leeds twice."

"London? This has been going on since London!?"

Bobby started to get a hint as to what was going on. Lucas sighed and his face fell, and Bobby would've hugged him if he wasn't half the reason he was hurting.

"She said it'd only happened once."

Lucas' voice was quiet as he confirmed Bobby's suspicion, and he winced.

_ Fuck. _

“Shit, Lucas- I’m sorry.”

His gaze dropped to the floor as he spoke, not wanting to look at Lucas’ face anymore. He'd known that Lucas knew, he’d known for a few days, but it hadn’t really hit him until now. Until Lucas was right there in front of him, and he could see how broken he was. How broken  _ he _ had made him. He hadn’t been prepared for the way his heart was breaking right alongside Lucas’.

“Why would you do this?”

Lucas asked, and Bobby shook his head. It was a good question, one that he’d been asking himself for the last few months. Before he could say anything Lucas continued.

“I mean, you knew back in the Villa that I had problems with being able to trust people. Being able to trust  _ women. _ You had to know how hard it was for me to accept the fact that you were friends with her, and how hard I tried to be okay with you two speaking as much as you did.”

“I did know that. I do know.”

“So… what? You just don’t care? Or you thought it’d be fun to see how long you could keep it up before I found out?”

He paused, and Bobby tried to answer but he was cut off again.

“I guess I’m just wondering what I did to make you hate me enough to do this.”

“I don’t hate you.”

Bobby answered quietly. Somewhere he knew that this day was likely to come, and he was fully prepared to receive a fist to the face for what he’d done. He wasn’t prepared for Lucas to look more hurt than angry, or to be talking and trying to find out Bobby’s motivations. He would much rather Lucas just be ready to kill him.

“So what!? Why would you do this? Okay, Priya didn’t want you, whatever. There are no other girls in the UK?”

“I-”

“Who made the first move?”

He asked suddenly, and Bobby’s stomach churned uncomfortably. He wanted to be honest, he really did. But he didn’t want Lucas to know it had been her. He didn’t want to destroy him like that.

“I did.”

He murmured, glancing up at the taller man quickly and then back down to the ground.  _ Now  _ he looked angry.

“I know we weren’t exactly close in the Villa, but I didn’t think you had this much of a problem with me.”

“It’s done, okay? I’ve been wanting to end it for a while, I’ll never see her again.”   


It wasn’t a complete lie, even if he hadn’t yet told Harper that he wanted their arrangement over with. Lucas scoffed, and then let out a short, almost manic laugh.

“Are you serious? She's all yours mate, you can fucking have her.”

Bobby watched Lucas turn away and walk out of his flat, flinching slightly when the door slammed shut behind him. He’d broken them up. Harper told him that Lucas knew, but she never said that he’d broken up with her.

_ You can fucking have her. _

That could only mean that they were over. He didn’t know why it hadn’t occurred to him that what he was doing could potentially ruin their relationship beyond repair. He knew that if and when Lucas found out, he’d be pissed at them both but he hadn’t thought that he’d break up with Harper on the spot, unwilling to give her a second chance.

He jumped when his phone beeped in his pocket and he checked it warily, afraid that Lucas had thought of more to say to him. Instead, Tash's name was written across his screen.

_ I wont allow u to forget about me now that I've gotten used to u cooking for me. _

He frowned and checked the time. They didn't exactly have an official schedule but he was usually at her place by now.

_ Sry got held up. Omw  _

He sent back quickly before pulling his shirt back on and heading out the door, forgoing a shower and still a little rattled after Lucas' confrontation.

\--

"Holy hell, I thought I was gonna starve to death!"

Tash exclaimed dramatically as she pulled her door open and ushered him inside.

"To  _ death _ ? In one night?"

Bobby raised an eyebrow, and she nodded seriously.

"Just imagine how bad you'd feel, McKenzie."

"I think I'd get over it."

She slapped his arm playfully as he walked past her to her kitchen and he gave her a faint smile.

"Rude."

She remarked, taking up her normal place beside him, ready to be his gofer.

He felt, rather than saw, her gaze lingering on him questioningly and glanced over at her.

"Why are you always staring at me?"

He tried to joke, but she frowned, seeing through the act straight away.

"Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"You tell me."

He shook his head and pulled a knife from her knife block, avoiding the conversation entirely. He ran his thumb lightly along the blade and rolled his eyes, retrieving her sharpener from a drawer.

"You gotta keep these sharp."

He told her distractedly, focusing on running the sharpener along each side of the knife.

"No I don't. That's what I have a kitchen bitch for."

He put the sharpener back in the drawer and looked over at her.

“What am I cooking?”

“Okay, what’s going on?”

She asked, taking the knife off of him and placing it back in the knife holder.

“What?”

“I just called you my kitchen bitch and you got nothing?”

“Nothing’s going on.”

She eyed him suspiciously, but then gave a small shrug.

“Fine. You don’t have to tell me.”

He wanted to tell her. At least a little bit of it. She’d quickly become one of, if not his one closest friend and it killed him to have to keep everything about Harper from her. But for some reason he couldn’t stand the thought of her knowing what he’d done. He was sure he wouldn’t be able to handle her looking at him differently, as though she was disappointed in him.

“I got into it with a mate today.”

He blurted out, and she leaned back against the kitchen counter, watching him expectantly and waiting for him to continue. He didn’t know what else he could say though, without giving the whole story away. So he stayed quiet and drummed his fingers on the kitchen counter.

“Well friends argue, right? I’m sure you’ll sort it out.”

“I’m not sure we’ll get past-”

He began, but cut himself off before he could say anymore.

“Yeah, I’m sure we will.”

He forced a smile to his face but didn’t miss how long it took her to return it. She wasn’t buying it, and he knew it. But at least she wasn’t pressing for more details. Not for now, anyway.

He’d tell her eventually. He’d have to. It was only a matter of time before the press got hold of what had gone down now that Lucas knew, and he could only hope that he’d have found the balls to tell her himself before she found out some other way.

He didn’t understand why he was so worried about what she would think of him if she found out. He’d told Priya with barely any hesitation, and he’d thought for a short while that he was actually getting close to falling in love with her. He figured that he just didn’t need  _ another  _ friend knowing how badly he’d screwed up and throwing it in his face whenever Harper’s name was mentioned.

He'd keep Tash out of his Harper drama, for as long as he could. She was the only thing keeping him in touch with his old self and the thought of losing that entirely was terrifying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Thoughts, feelings, concerns? Good or bad, you can find me on Reddit u/ffkatbee and my inbox is always open!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** Smut in this chapter, 18+ only.
> 
> Thank you to Alicia and Esme for restoring my smut confidence. Smutfidence, if you will ❤ Love you both.

Bobby arrived at the motel before Harper for once, and he sent her a quick text to let her know he'd already checked in. He sat on the edge of the bed, one leg jiggling up and down nervously and turning his phone around and around in his hands.

It had been killing him to know that he'd torpedoed her relationship with Lucas, but at the same time he'd thought now that they were over it would make things easier for him to see Harper. So far, no. Her phone calls to him were still straight to the point and void of any affection, even platonic affection lately. She always sounded annoyed, as though speaking to him was a chore that she needed to get through even though nine times out of ten it was her that called him.

Perhaps the detail niggling at him the most though, was that she'd hounded him to come and see her for a week, but when he'd asked for her address, she'd refused to give it and requested that they meet in their usual spot. He didn’t understand why. She was single now, shouldn't that mean it wasn't such a big deal for her to be seen with him? _Surely_ it couldn't just be that she was so ashamed of being with him that she still wanted to keep it hidden?

He wanted answers from her, and this time he was determined to get them. He wasn’t going to allow himself to be distracted, not this time. He wanted to know where she saw things going with the two of them. He _needed_ to know so that he could work out for himself where he wanted it to go. He hadn't felt properly connected to her in a while now, but he felt he owed it to her to give it a shot. As disconnected as she herself seemed, for whatever reason she'd destroyed what she had with Lucas to be with him. He couldn't let it all have been for nothing. She deserved for him to at least be willing to give them a shot.

He set his phone down on the bed next to him when he heard the door unlock and forced a smile to his face when Harper stepped into the room. He didn't feel the smile in the slightest, but she grinned at him as she made her way over to sit beside him so he felt he had to return it. She looked him up and down, crossing a leg underneath her to turn and face him.

"You've looked better."

She remarked, and even though Bobby knew it was true, the comment pissed him off. He hadn't been sleeping well since Lucas had come to see him, most of his nights spent going over every little detail of his first night with her and agonising over every missed opportunity to stop what he'd done.

"Yeah? And you should look worse."

He blurted out, and she raised an eyebrow at him.

"Meaning?"

"Nothing, forget it."

She studied him for a moment, and just as he was waiting for her to start questioning him she leaned over and kissed him instead. His hand automatically came up to the back of her neck and he kissed her back until something inside of him screamed at him to stop. This time, he listened and pulled back, his hand dropping back down to his lap.

"We need to talk."

Harper rolled her eyes and inched closer to him, one finger running lightly up and down his chest.

"About?"

Was she serious? Did she seriously think there was nothing to discuss?

"About you and me."

"What about you and me?"

"Well I don't exactly know what you want from me."

She grinned at him and slid into his lap, and he moved his hands to the mattress behind him as he leaned away from her a little. He wasn't letting her distract him this time.

"If not for your insistence on _talking_ you'd know what I wanted from you by now."

"I'm serious, Harps."

His eyes threatened to close when she leaned down to kiss his neck and his fingers twitched against the blanket under his hand as he internally ordered himself not to fall for it.

"So am I."

She murmured into the dip of his collarbone, shifting slightly on his lap and smirking when she felt him already reacting to her.

"Harper-"

"What I want-"

She cut him off and unbuttoned his jeans, sliding a hand into his boxers and wrapping her fingers around him.

"-is for you to fuck me like only you can."

He could practically hear his resolve crumbling when she slowly pumped him a couple of times and his arms wound around her without his permission. She gave a somewhat victorious smile and moved to kiss him again but he avoided her lips, instead flipping the both of them over so that he was kneeling between her knees on the bed.

"So that's all you want, huh?"

His voice had changed again in an instant to the low and dark tone it often took on when he was with her, but now he was tired of being afraid of it. He switched off and let it take over, watching as his hands pushed her skirt up and his fingers hooked into the elastic of her underwear and yanked them down. She nodded, excitement gleaming in her eyes as she watched him roughly shove his jeans and boxers down, not even bothering to get them off of his legs completely.

He tapped a hand between her knees to get her to open her legs for him, then rested his hands on the insides of her thighs, pressing her legs down to the mattress.

"Well I guess if all you want is a fuck,"

He released one of her legs for just long enough to grip himself and line up before returning his hand to it's spot and shoving his hips forward into her.

"Then I better make sure it's a fucking good one."

She gasped and arched her back as he bottomed out inside of her with a slight groan, and he remained completely motionless for a second, trying to figure out what he was thinking. This wasn't what he wanted. It barely even felt good, even as she let out a whine and tried to grind up against him, an action made difficult by the way he had her legs spread and pinned. He pulled almost all the way out of her and slammed his hips back in, watching the way her body jerked with the force of him pounding into her.

"Oh my God, Bobby,"

She was already moaning, already coming to pieces underneath him, and he pushed harder on one of her legs, getting go of the other and bringing his hand up to her throat.

"Yeah? This what you wanted from me?"

He almost snarled the question, his fingers sinking into the skin of her neck and holding on tightly to keep her body still, not even bothering to try and control the way his hips were roughly slamming against hers. He leaned down closer to her, pushing just a little harder on her throat.

"Answer me."

He whispered in her ear. He fought the urge to tighten his grip on her neck as he felt the muscles in her throat work when she answered, her voice sending vibrations through his fingertips.

"Yeah, yes, this is what I wanted."

She panted and brought her free leg around him, her heel resting on his backside and forcing him harder into her with every thrust. He didn't know what to make of the fact that she seemed unphased by his out of the blue aggression, because in some small part of his mind he was disgusted by it. He had too much weight on her leg, his hand was too tight around her throat, and had he been at all in control of himself he'd probably be too unsettled to continue. But her choked moans and the way her foot on his ass was encouraging him to be even harder on her told him that she was loving it.

"Maybe Lucas would've fucked you like this if he knew what a bitch you were gonna turn out to be, huh?"

He kept his eyes on her face, something close to happiness, but not quite, washing over him when her eyes shot open and she looked shocked for a split second. Shocked that he'd mentioned Lucas or called her a bitch he didn't know, but it was gone just as quickly as it had appeared as her eyes rolled back in her head and she bit down on her bottom lip.

It was at that moment that Bobby realised she didn't care. She didn't care that they'd broken Lucas, she didn't care that Bobby had been losing sleep over the whole mess, she didn't care about any of it. She'd only wanted Lucas because he was rich and she knew he'd bend over backwards to provide for her, leaving her to do whatever she wanted, and there'd never been anything more than sex that she wanted from Bobby.

She couldn't care less about either of them, and the sudden realisation almost made him want to pull out and leave her hanging. But she was already clamping down and swearing and moaning his name under her breath, so he closed his eyes and focused on the way she pulsated around his cock, just wanting to be done with it. Done with _her._

He wiggled his fingers against her neck to better feel the low moan she let out as she came, and a couple of especially rough thrusts later he followed with a series of short grunts, more out of relief than pleasure.

He pulled out and let her go straight away, before his dick had even stopped twitching and he sat back on his feet to catch his breath, watching her slowly sit up and give him a small smile. She cared so little that she hadn't even picked up on the fact that there was something up with him. She'd gotten the fuck she wanted, she was happy.

"Where have you been hiding _that_ guy?"

She asked after a while, and Bobby frowned at her and got to his feet to pull his pants back up.

"I didn't even know that guy existed until recently."

She grinned and kneed her way to the edge of the bed, catching his hands in hers as he zipped up his jeans.

"I think I need to meet him again."

He stepped back away from her and shook her hands away before finishing up with his jeans. He'd already screwed up his own plan once, he wasn't about to let her get to him again.

"I don't think that's gonna happen."

She kneeled up to fix her skirt and then scooted to the edge of the bed, looking up at him questioningly.

"Are you mad at me?"

"What was your first clue?"

He asked in exasperation, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Okay. What did I do?"

"You won't talk to me. About anything. I need to know if I'm wasting my time here."

"Excuse me? Wasting your time?"

Harper stood up off of the bed and glared at him, her arms folded over her chest.

"Are you and Lucas done?"

"Yes. You know that."

"So why am I still meeting you here? Like it's a secret?"

"Oh come on. Can you imagine the stories that'd come out? About both of us?"

Bobby shook his head and ran a hand over his face with a groan.

"We're so different, you and me."

He muttered, picking his jacket up from the back of the couch where he'd dropped it upon first arriving.

"Different how?"

She took a step toward him, and he took a step back just as quickly.

"I don't care about the stories. I liked you, Harper. I wouldn't have given a shit what anyone else had to say about it."

"Why are you talking in past tense?"

For the first time she sounded a little worried, but Bobby could no longer bring himself to care. He shrugged helplessly.

"Because this-"

He paused and gestured between them.

"-feels like it's ending."

"Bobby-"

She stepped up to him and grabbed at his wrist, but he shook her off again.

"You still won't give me a straight answer. Are we something that you want or not?"

She stayed quiet and he watched her face for a long while, almost inwardly begging her to say no and let him go. But she said nothing, her gaze eventually dropping to the floor.

"Right. I know you've lost a lot to be here, but if it's not gonna be something real, then it's all been for nothing. I'm not gonna be your secret, Harper. I'm not a stupid kid anymore, I know I'm better than that."

He turned to head out of the room, but she called out to him when he was halfway through the door.

"Where are you going? Your flight's not til morning."

He turned to face her, his eyes darting between her and the bed behind her. The idea of having sex with her again, or even just sleeping beside her, made him sick. He was tired of playing pretend with her for a few days at a time without knowing if he'd ever actually have the real thing. Without knowing if he even wanted the real thing with her anymore.

"I'll crash at the airport."

He muttered before turning away again and stepping out, letting the door fall closed behind him. For the first time, he was looking forward to leaving her behind and going home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Thoughts, feelings, concerns? Good or bad, you can find me on Reddit u/ffkatbee and my inbox is always open!


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** Smut in this chapter, 18+ only.

Being around Tash had always been easy, and the ease was only made more noticeable in the beginning by how difficult Bobby sometimes found it to be around Harper since the show ended. He felt guilty about the way his last visit with her had gone, though and the resulting awkwardness he felt because of it was starting to show.

He was sitting across from Tash at a table out the front of a cafe between their places, choosing to do something other than sit around on a couch and watch TV, and instead they went out to eat. It was nice, being able to be out in public with her without worrying about who might see them, yet still he found himself pushing food around his plate with his fork but barely eating, his mind refusing to let go of the way he'd treated Harper.

Too rough, too disrespectful, too _hateful._

"I think-"

Tash began, but cut herself off with a frown and looked down into her lap, fingertips playing with the edge of the pale green table cloth. He waited for her to continue, watching as she seemed to have a small mental discussion with herself before looking back up at him.

"Are you interested in me or not?"

She tried again, and he blinked at her silently. That was _not_ the question he'd been expecting.

"What?"

He asked dumbly, and she sighed and leaned towards him, elbows resting on the table.

"I just want an honest answer, Bobby. If not then it's okay, but I'm gonna need a bit of time away from you. I, um- I need to work out how to commit to this "just friends" things with you."

He stared at her, and she patiently looked right back at him, her eyes never leaving his as she waited for him to sift through his thoughts. He pushed the memory of Harper away and let himself realise how easy it was to be around Tash, and how she never grimaced or sarcastically rolled her eyes at his jokes and never shied away from delivering jokes of her own back to him. His eyes darted down to where one of her hands was resting on the table, and he knew that if he was to place his over it she wouldn't jerk away from him. If he leaned over the table right now and kissed her she wouldn't push him away. If he told her he wanted to talk to her, she wouldn't shut him up by getting him hard.

He could just _be Bobby_ with her, and he almost gasped at the sudden realisation that he was very close to losing what he'd been searching for in Harper before he even fully realised he'd found it somewhere else.

"I'm interested."

He answered after a moment, hesitantly reaching his hand over to cover hers, just to make sure he hadn't thought wrong. She smiled and her hand stayed where it was, only her thumb moving to curl around his.

"So why is this not happening?"

He wanted to tell her. He should've told her. He _almost_ told her. But he couldn't stand the thought of her looking at him any differently to the way she was right at that moment. He knew how she saw him; the same way almost everyone saw him. And while he didn't understand how she managed to be attracted to what she saw, he didn't want to become anything other than himself in her eyes. Least of all a guy who would knowingly sleep with someone else's girlfriend, and then admit to being interested in someone else before bothering to officially break it off with the first girl. So, he just gave a small shrug and gave her the only answer that made sense without admitting everything.

"There's no reason."

"So why don't you stop playing hard to get and kiss me already?"

He looked around, temporarily thrown by the amount of people around them before reminding himself that it didn't matter with her and leaning across the table. His lips met hers, soft and quick, and she raised an eyebrow at him.

"That was some weak sauce, kid. You kissed me better than that when I left the Villa."

He rolled his eyes and huffed at her dramatically, the corner of his mouth quirked up in a barely hidden smile as he mumbled a "fine" and moved his hand to twist his fingers into her hair, bringing her face closer to his as he kissed her slower and more deliberately.

It felt to him as though she literally melted into him as his tongue slipped past her lips and rolled and flicked against hers. He tilted his head, his chair scraping along the pavement as he half stood up to get closer to her. One of her hands darted up to grasp at his shoulder, the other curling into a ball on the table as he leaned over the table into her, his fist in her hair keeping her in place.

He loosened his grip and let his hand rest lightly on the back of her neck as he broke away from her, laughing lightly when she kept her eyes closed.

"Better?"

He asked before placing one last, light peck on her lips and then sitting back down, letting his hand slide from her neck to her shoulder and down her arm back to her hand as he did. She opened her eyes to look at him, pupils blown and a small smile on her face, and gave a nonchalant shrug.

"Huh. Slightly."

"You're a brat, you know that?"

He pointed a finger at her as he spoke, just as a waiter came out to clear their table of their empty dishes. Tash stuck her tongue out at him and then rested her elbows back on the table, clasping her hands together and resting her chin on them.

"So what's next on a date with Bobby?"

"Is this a date?"

"It is now that you told me there's no reason it shouldn't be."

_Harper! Harper is the reason it shouldn't be!_

His inner voice screamed at him, reminding him that he hadn't officially broken it off with Harper, that Tash didn't even know he'd had anything with Harper.

"Well what would be next on a date with Tash?"

He dodged, hoping she wouldn't notice his avoidance. She shrugged and grinned at him.

"Depends. Seeing that technically I've known you for a few months now, I lived with you for four days, and just because it's you… You wanna take me back to your place?"

He stared at her over the top of the glass he was drinking out of, taking more effort than usual to swallow it down as she watched him expectantly. He couldn't. He _knew_ he couldn't, and he was going to have to tell her why.

"Yes."

He answered instead, getting to his feet abruptly and holding a hand out to her. She held his hand the entire walk back to his place, and he was struck by how normal and okay it felt. This was how it was supposed to be; relaxed and easy. Not rushed and nerve racking.

He unlocked his door and led her into his flat, not quite sure what he was expecting when she let him get her as far as his couch and then pulled her hand away from him. He turned to face her and she pressed her lips to his, his arms automatically circling her waist and pulling her body flush against his. 

Their hands roamed over each other's bodies, tentatively at first, but more determined as their kiss grew more intense, until Bobby finally worked up the nerve to slide his hands under her top and work his fingers under the lace edge of her bra. She moaned when he squeezed gently and then rolled her nipples between his thumbs and forefingers. She pulled away for a moment, long enough to grin at him and fish a small foil package out of the space between her breasts, holding it up to him before reaching behind him to drop it onto the couch.

"Was it your plan all along to seduce me?"

He asked, and she hummed in agreement as she returned her lips to his for a quick kiss, then nudged at his shoulders lightly to push him back onto the couch. Her hands came to rest on his knees as she leaned down to kiss along his jaw until she reached his mouth again.

It was different when she kissed him. It wasn’t messy or rough, and it didn’t make him want to tear her clothes off and throw her on the closest flat surface. It made him want to pull her so close against him that she became a part of him. He didn’t want to turn her around so that he didn’t have to look at her, and when she climbed onto his lap and began unbuckling his belt he didn’t feel a need to push her back off and take control of her. He was willing to let her do whatever she wanted to him, and to do whatever she wanted him to.

There was no doubt niggling in the very depths of his mind about being with her, nothing driving a sense of urgency to get on with it and seal the deal before one of them changed their mind or they were somehow interrupted. It was slow and comfortable and everything he didn’t know he’d been missing over the last few months. Being with Tash brought him back to himself, and he didn’t realise how much he’d missed being that guy.

She laughed softly when he lifted his hips for her to push his pants down, lifting her up in the air at the same time, and she wobbled slightly and gripped his shoulder for balance.

“Trying to buck me off?”

She asked with a small smile, and he grinned at her and leaned up to kiss her quickly.

“Definitely not. You stay right where you are.”

He was hard, _so_ hard, without even noticing that he’d gotten that way, too focused on her and the sounds she was making to let him know that his touches and kisses were being appreciated. She didn’t even get off of him to take off her underwear, instead lifting up on her knees and awkwardly working them down one leg at a time. He watched her, his eyebrow raised in amusement.

“You couldn’t have picked a less straightforward way to do that.”

She rolled her eyes and sat back down, hiking her skirt up around her waist.

“Shut up.”

She told him, and he moaned softly at the contact once she was seated against him again, now with no layers between them.

“Shutting up.”

He submitted before she covered his mouth with hers again and rolled her hips.

She grabbed the condom from where they’d left it on the couch as she kissed him, and he heard the wrapper open in the background and felt her rolling the protection down over him.

She crossed her arms together behind his neck as she lowered herself onto him with a content sigh, and he sat up a little to wrap his arms around her and rest his hands on her back. Her movements were slow, her entire body rolling against his and he let his eyes fall closed as he absentmindedly pressed light kisses up and down her neck and along her shoulder. She felt so good and he was surprised by how satisfied he was just to let her set the pace without wanting to push her harder onto him. He didn’t want to make her beg or squirm or scream, he just wanted to make her feel good and her breathy moans in his ear told him that he was doing that without having to go out of his way and force them out of her. He was enough, just the way he was.

Her hands moved to cup both sides of his face as she quickened her pace and she kissed him, moaning when his tongue pushed past her parted lips and explored her mouth, letting out a low moan of his own. She rested her forehead against his and their eyes locked, both of them breathing heavily as her movements lost their controlled rhythm and he felt her tightening up around him. He wasn’t sure he could ever remember making a girl come without working for it and he was almost confused for a second, wondering if he was about to experience his first faked orgasm, when she smiled at him. He thought to himself that in that moment she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen with her eyes wide and dark, her face flushed and sweaty and smiling at him as though nothing and no one existed but him.

“Oh my God.”

He moaned involuntarily as they reached their releases simultaneously, another first for him, he was sure. Her walls pulsated around him as he twitched and throbbed inside of her, and she stilled her movements as she kissed him again, her own moans lost in his mouth. She stayed where she was with him still inside of her as she pulled back and laid her head down on his chest when he relaxed back against the couch while they both caught their breath.

“Mmm Priya missed out. Like, big time.”

She said and he could hear the cheeky grin in her voice. He groaned and trailed a hand down her back to lightly tap her backside.

“Why would you bring her up? I don’t wanna think about anyone else right now.”

She sat up to peck him on the lips.

“Good answer.”

She sighed as she pulled herself off of him and got to her feet. The loss of her around him and against him was beyond disappointing.

"You got anywhere to be tonight?"

He asked, busying himself with removing the condom and going to throw it away while she retrieved her clothes from the floor and fixed her skirt. She checked her wrist as though she was wearing a watch and pretended to be calculating something.

"I've got another date in an hour. I'm gonna see if I can make it two for two."

She answered with a grin.

"Oh, well in that case I better let you go. This was fun."

He held his hand out for a handshake and she laughed. She took his hand but used it to pull him towards her.

"You're an idiot."

He nodded and wrapped her up in a hug.

"That's the word on the street."

"I was actually hoping you might invite me to stay."

She answered more seriously.

"That's what I was going to do until I found out about second dates. You wouldn't want to disappoint all the other guys."

She was quiet for a moment as one of his hands moved up to play with her hair.

"No other guys, Bobby. I've got all I need in you."

A familiar stab of guilt shot through his chest as his thoughts turned to Harper for the first time. He thought he had all he needed in Tash, they fit so perfectly together in every way that Harper barely entered his mind when he was with her. But she was definitely still in his life, one look through his text messages and call history would prove that and he knew with a new sense of certainty what he had to do.

He had to end it with Harper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Thoughts, feelings, concerns? Good or bad, you can find me on Reddit u/ffkatbee and my inbox is always open!


	20. Chapter 20

Bobby sat on the uncomfortable bench seat at the airport, turning his phone over in his hands. He knew he had to call her. Even if he was willing to be alone with her at her place, she'd never even told him her address. He couldn't just doorknock his way around Leeds. He sighed and unlocked his phone, scrolling through his contacts and staring at Harper's name. His thumb hovered over it for a few seconds before he closed his eyes and tapped. It only rang for a couple of seconds before she answered with a quiet "hey". Bobby frowned. He'd known she probably wouldn't be thrilled to hear from him after how he'd left her the last time they saw each other, but it was weird for her to sound so… meek.

"Hey."

He answered and then stalled, not knowing how to start the conversation. After an uncomfortable silence he heard her sigh.

"What do you want, Bobby?"

"I'm in Leeds."

He said quickly, before he could change his mind. She seemed to instantly perk up with his news.

"Oh! Where are you?"

"Um, still at the airport. You wanna get a drink somewhere?"

"Like, out?"

He rolled his eyes and switched sides with his phone.

"Yeah like out. I don't see why this is still a problem-"

"No! No, no, it's not a problem. I know a place, I'll text you the address."

The text was already waiting on his phone by the time he ended the call, and he typed the address into his GPS and headed out of the airport with a sense of determination. This was it. He was going to finally end things with Harper and get himself back on track. He was tired of the different version of himself that kept trying to come to the surface, and he was fairly certain that he’d disappear once the thought of Harper wasn’t in his mind to encourage him out.

\--

By the time he got himself comfortable at a table in the middle of the crowded pub, he glanced up to see Harper walk through the door, her eyes finding him straight away. He’d been expecting her to look different, for some reason. He thought that by now she might look as though she’d just been through a break up with someone she was supposed to have loved. He thought she might at least look tired. But she didn’t. She did however look slightly annoyed when she slumped down onto the seat across the small table from him, her eyes darting around at the crowd.

“Why’d you want to meet here?”

She asked finally, her gaze coming to rest on him.

“Why not?”

He asked, pushing the beer he’d ordered for her before he’d sat down across the table to her. She grabbed it and took a mouthful before giving him a shrug.

“Kind of out in the open, you know?”

“I thought that wasn’t a problem anymore.”

“It’s not-”

She paused and looked around again before leaning across the table towards him.

“It’s just kind of hard to do anything in the middle of a pub.”

There it was. Straight to the point, as usual. She didn’t want to talk to him, she was barely willing to have a drink with him. He had to do it, quick and painless, and if anything she’d just made the decision final for him. He downed another long mouthful of beer and took a deep breath, before looking back at her.

“I’m done.”

He’d spent the entire flight going over and over in his head how he was going to approach this and what he was going to say to her. He had it down, he was certain. But when he opened his mouth, that was all he found he was able to blurt out. She grinned at him, and when her eyes darted down to the beer in front of him he realised she’d completely misunderstood him.

“You wanna get out of here?”

She asked, and he shook his head.

“No, I mean you and me.  _ We’re  _ done.”

Her grin faded and they stared at each other for the longest time, him waiting for her to speak and her waiting for him to reveal he was joking.

“Are you serious?”

She finally asked in little more than a whisper.

“Are you fucking serious?”

She repeated louder before he could respond, drawing a couple of glances from the other patrons closest to them. He started to answer, but she abruptly got to her feet, glowering down at him.

“Now that I’ve lost everything for you, you want to end it?”

“You didn’t lose everything for me.”

“What would you call it, then?”

She snapped, and he looked up at her.

“You just lost everything. You still didn’t have any plans to be with me properly, right? You lost it all, but it wasn’t for me. It was just… bad luck.”

“Bad luck?”

She repeated, then shook her head and looked away from him, glaring at whoever dared to keep their eyes on her when she faced them.

“This is fucking unbelievable.”

“Is it, though? Did you really think there was ever going to be a happy ending for us?”

“Not really the point, is it?”

He frowned at her.

“Actually, it’s the whole point-”

“No! No, it’s not the point. I thought you’d at least try. I thought that even if there wasn’t any hope for anything long term, you’d at least give it a shot for a while.”

“What does that mean? Give it a shot for a while?”

He questioned, starting to get a little louder himself, and this time he cut her off before she could answer him.

“For a while until you found someone better that you actually wanted to be with? For a while so that you didn’t have to be alone and deal with your own company for too long? For a while so that you could keep getting laid without being labelled a slut for it?”

His own words stung. He didn’t talk to people like this, it just wasn’t the way he communicated. But when she didn’t answer and her expression changed to one of faint,  _ faint  _ guilt, he realised that he was right to speak to her like that. Because it was all true.

“Just, for a while. Just to see where it’d go.”

She replied weakly, and he scoffed and shook his head. He was going to have to say it. He didn’t want to, the mere thought of it had been eating him up since he let himself believe it, and the prospect of saying it out loud to her made him feel sick. But he had to get his point across.

“I wanted that in the beginning. But I don’t want to see where it could go anymore. I don’t trust you, Harps.”

She looked as though he’d slapped her in the face.

“I don’t even…”

She trailed off and shook her head again.

“I can’t believe this.”

“I’m sorry-”

Bobby got to his feet but she held a hand to his chest to stop him from going anywhere.

“No. You don’t get to drop that bomb on me and walk away and go on with your life when you just ruined mine.”

“We both ruined your life, not just me. Don’t you think it’s time to cut your losses?”

“Why now? After all this time,  _ now  _ you’re developing some kind of conscience? Why?”

“I’ve met someone, okay?”

He blurted out. He needed her to know that there was no point in questioning him, no point trying to change his mind. He needed the conversation done and he needed to be done with her.

“It’s getting serious and I don’t want to do this to her.”

She laughed sarcastically. 

“Oh, you’ve met someone. You don’t want to do this to her? After all that time I was doing it to Lucas?”

“You could have had this exact conversation with me anytime Harper, and I would’ve backed off. We could’ve been done before we even started.”

He watched her hands ball into fists at her sides and she sucked in a sharp breath. She opened her mouth a couple of times to speak, but changed her mind and closed it again every time.

“Fuck you.”

She finally spat before turning on her heel and stalking away from him. He watched her go, earning some curious glances from other people as she furiously stormed past them, and then relaxed back into his seat to finish his beer.

He’d never been good at breaking up with people, mainly because nine times out of ten, he was the one being broken up with. And now that he was doing it, he didn’t like it. But at the same time he felt as though a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. It was as though she’d been smothering him, and now that it was officially over he felt as though he could breathe again.

\--

The day after arriving back in Glasgow, Bobby was sat on the couch in Tash’s living room, his hands nervously rubbing together as Tash watched him expectantly after he’d told her that he needed to tell her something.

Jonno had told him he was mad. That he had a good thing going with Tash and he’d be an idiot to tell her about Harper now that it was over. But Bobby knew it would eat at him if he didn’t say anything. Everytime Tash looked at him in the adoring way she’d taken to doing over the last week since they’d made their relationship official, or everytime she called him sweet or commented about him being a nice guy, he lost a little bit more of himself. Because he wasn’t a nice guy, he hadn’t been for months now, and the first step towards becoming one again was to come clean to her about everything.

“This is the most serious I’ve ever seen you, it’s a little scary.”

Tash’s voice interrupted his thoughts and he looked up at her with a small smile. She was holding his hand, her thumb lightly stroking the back of his, and though she’d said it in a joking way he could see that she was starting to get a little worried. He couldn’t blame her, he’d been sitting there in silence for the last ten minutes, trying to figure out how to tell her.

“Do you remember Harper?”

He forced himself to start talking, and she nodded.

“I never met her, but yeah I know who she is.”

Bobby fell silent for a moment again.

_ Just say it, ya numpty. Just get it over and done with. _

“I slept with her.”

Tash frowned and her thumb stopped stroking his hand.

“Isn’t she still with Lucas?”

“She was, yeah.”

Her hand went limp under his and her frown deepened.

“I don’t get it.”

She got it, he could tell by the look on her face. The exact look he’d been trying to avoid ever since first running into her out the front of the shelter. But for some reason she seemed to need to hear it from him, and he supposed he at least owed her that much. 

“I was sleeping with her, while she was with Lucas.”

She carefully slid her hand out from under his and folded it together with the other on her lap. She was quiet for a long while, but instead of glaring at him like Harper had when he’d been honest with her, her eyes were downcast, staring at the floor in front of her.

“Until when?”

Her eyes closed as she waited for him to answer, and he suddenly regretted saying anything at all. Jonno had been right, this was a  _ stupid  _ idea.

“The last time was nearly two weeks ago.”

“So after we’d started hanging out.”

She stated, and he stayed quiet as she began chewing on her lower lip, trying to sort out her thoughts.

“Is it over?”

She asked quietly, and he didn’t miss the way she edged slightly away from him on the couch.

“Yes.”

“When?”

Now Bobby closed his eyes as well. He’d been hoping to avoid that question.

“Two days ago.”

He forced his eyes open as he answered and saw her look up at him in surprise.

“We slept together a week ago, Bobby.”

“I know.”

“You had sex with me, while you were still kind of seeing another guy’s girlfriend.”

“They broke up-”

“Bobby! So not what I’m getting at!”

“I know.”

He answered quietly before falling silent. It was pointless trying to explain himself anyway, because what explanation could he possibly give her that would make this any easier for her?

“I think you need to go.”

She finally spoke, and a sharp stabbing sensation shot through his chest, sudden enough to make him wince.

“Tash, I’m so sorry. Can we just-”

“No. We can’t just.”

She got to her feet and made her way over to her front door, pulling it open and looking back at him expectantly. Bobby sighed and stood, walking slowly over to her and pausing in the doorway.

“I really am sorry.”

“Why’d you tell me?”

She asked bluntly, and he gave a helpless shrug.

“I didn’t want it hanging over us.”

She didn’t reply, just nodded towards the open doorway. He stepped out onto the doormat outside and heard the door creak slightly as she started to close it. It stopped and he turned back towards her.

“You know, from the second I met you I thought you were different to all the other guys I’ve dated.”

Oh, that hurt. She’d divulged a little about some of the trash she’d dated before coming onto Love Island while they were still in the Villa, and she’d told him a little more in the time he’d spent with her after. To be put on the same level as some of those guys stung maybe even more than the way she was looking at him now.

“I-”

She held a hand up to cut him off, shaking her head sadly.

“Turns out I was right. You’re worse.”

She closed the door before he could say anything and he heard the lock turn and the chain being slid into its slot on the other side.

Her thinking that about him was bad enough, even worse was the realisation that she was right. He’d become every bit the kind of guy he wouldn’t even want to be friends with, and while he’d started out with a plan to make things right, now he was starting to fear that it was a lost cause and he’d ruined everything beyond repair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Thoughts, feelings, concerns? Good or bad, you can find me on Reddit u/ffkatbee and my inbox is always open!


	21. Chapter 21

She'd been completely alone for two weeks, and Harper hated every second of it. As the days wore on, she found herself getting increasingly angry with both Lucas and Bobby. How dare they leave her on her own? How dare they not even be willing to hear her out and give her a second chance?

At the same time, she missed them both terribly. She missed the way Lucas would drop by on his way home from work with gifts for her, and she missed spending her weekends eating out at expensive restaurants and being the envy of every other girl in the room when she would walk in on Lucas' arm.

She missed the way Bobby made her feel. She missed the sensation of his hands and his tongue all over her body, and the way she could get him worked up and ready to please her so quickly. Most of all, she  _ hated  _ that now there was apparently some other girl he was showing that side of himself to. She didn't know who she was, but she already hated her.

Bobby was in Glasgow, apparently now living his life with his new girl, so Harper had reached out to Lucas, and to her surprise and satisfaction he'd agreed to meet up with her. Which was why she was now sitting at a corner table in a coffee shop near her place, fingernails tapping restlessly on the table as she glanced at the time again. He was late. Ten minutes late, which was very out of character for Lucas.

Another five minutes passed before she heard the electronic buzzer above the door ring out, and she looked up just as Lucas stepped inside and headed straight for her. He must've spotted her from outside. He lifted his sunnies to the top of his head as he made his way over to her, and straight away she noticed faint dark circles under his eyes. He sat down heavily on the seat across from her and raised his eyebrows expectantly. 

"Hi Lucas."

She offered him a small smile that he didn't return.

"What do you want?"

She flinched at the coldness of his voice and took a deep breath to steady her nerves. She'd thought he might be on his way to forgiving her by now.

"I- I thought we could talk-"

"About what?"

He cut her off, rolling his eyes and looking around the cafe as though he was bored.

"Me and you."

He laughed sarcastically and turned his gaze back onto her.

"Bit late for that, don't you think?"

She let her eyes drop down to the table in front of her, not knowing what to say. He was obviously still beyond annoyed with her.

"Go on then. Talk.”

He prompted impatiently when she didn’t say anymore. She looked back up at him, her hands fidgeting nervously on the table top.

“I’m really sorry.”

“Alright.”

He answered shortly, and Harper just stared at him, confused. What the  _ hell  _ did that mean?

“So… we’re okay?”

She ventured carefully, and he laughed again and shook his head.

“No fucking chance.”

Damn. For a second she’d let herself believe that it might have actually been going to be that easy.

“What can I do to make it right?”

“Nothing. There’s nothing you can do, because nothing can make it right. So you might as well just go and have a nice life with McKenzie.”

He spat back at her before getting to his feet abruptly.

“Lucas, wait. I’ll do anything.”

She protested, almost desperately, and reached out to grab his hand before he could leave. He jerked it away from her and leaned down, pressing his palms against the table in front of her.

“I could never trust you again, and if you knew me at all you’d know that.”

He told her in a low voice, his face inches from hers. Her face fell as she heard the same words from him as she’d heard from Bobby, and a look of realisation dawned on his face as he straightened back up.

“He doesn’t want you either, does he?”

She didn’t answer, instead just looked back down at her hands as they began to fidget again. She closed her eyes when she heard him chuckle.

“You threw it all away for him, and he doesn’t even want you.”

He was quiet for a moment and she looked up to see him turning away from her.

“Good luck, Harper.”

He called to her over his shoulder before walking away, leaving her sitting at the table, alone again.

\--

Back in her flat, Harper paced her living room, fuming over how her meeting with Lucas had gone. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. He was supposed to let her explain herself, and he was supposed to forgive her and come home with her so that they could just pick up where they’d left off. He was supposed to have loved her, he wasn’t supposed to be giving up so easy. He wasn’t supposed to be holding a grudge, and he  _ definitely  _ wasn’t supposed to work out that she was trying to patch things up with him because Bobby had broken it off with her as well.

She unlocked her phone for the third time in five minutes, and stared at Bobby’s name still written on her screen. She wanted to text him, but her meeting with Lucas ending in such a failure had shaken her confidence.

“Fuck it.”

She muttered to herself as she stopped pacing and perched herself on the edge of the seat of her couch to type out a message.

_ Hey Bobby. _

Short, simple, non confrontational. Exactly what she figured he’d want from her. She didn’t want to start a fight with him, she had to try to convince him that she wanted to be with him. For real, the way he’d wanted in the beginning. She had to show him that she could be the same girl he’d met at the villa all that time ago.

Her message was read almost instantly, almost as though he’d been waiting by the phone for someone to contact him, but he didn’t reply. Fifteen minutes later Harper huffed in frustration, pacing again.

_ I need to talk to u. _

She tried again, and again her message was read straight away, and she waited for the dots to signal that he was typing but they didn’t come.

_ Can u answer me pls? _

She sent back after a couple of minutes, knowing now that he was receiving her messages and just not answering her, making her stomach knot up with anger even further.

_ Talk about what? _

He finally answered, just as she was starting to get annoyed and preparing to send him another, longer message.

_ Us. _

She answered simply, and her message stayed on read for a long while before he started to type back to her.

_ No. I can’t do this with u anymore. _

She stared at her phone in disbelief. No? Since when did he tell her no? She held herself back from texting back that exact question and chewed on her bottom lip as she tried to think of a response that wouldn’t be too argumentative.

_ I need to fix things with u. Please. _

She typed slowly, unsure of it but sending it anyway. She waited, for a long time, and had already started typing a second message when he replied.

_ I don’t want to fix things with u. I need u to stop texting me. _

She immediately dialled his number, taking a deep breath to calm herself so that she didn’t yell at him as soon as he answered. But he didn’t answer. Instead he quickly rejected the call, and a second later another text came through.

_ Stop calling me too. _

She frowned at her phone, a surge of anger washing over her.

“Fuck you!”

She yelled at it, as though Bobby would be able to somehow hear her. She stared moodily at the device for a while, waiting to see if he’d message her again. Maybe he’d come to his senses. Maybe he’d text her back an apology and agree to come and see her again. Maybe she’d be able to salvage at least one of her relationships. It became apparent as the minutes wore on that he had no intention of speaking to her anymore though, and she let out a defeated groan as she sank back down onto the couch, lifting her knees up to her chest and curling herself into a ball.

There was no way she’d fucked everything up for herself, she just couldn’t have. People didn’t just  _ leave  _ her, there was always a way to get them back on side after she’d done something wrong. Nothing was ever bad enough that no one would forgive her. Except that this time it was.

Lucas had trusted her, absolutely and completely, even though it had taken him a lot, and she knew it. He’d moved his entire life to be with her, and she’d done the one thing that she’d known in the back of her mind would be a deal breaker for him. Deep down she’d known as soon as Lucas found out about her and Bobby that they were done, and there was little to no chance of her being able to make it right with him again. Still, she’d tried, and she’d hoped that his love for her would be enough to make him want to overlook the one little transgression that he’d found out about.

Bobby had wanted to be with her in the villa, and then he’d wanted her to break up with Lucas to start a real relationship with him after the first time they’d gotten together on the outside. She’d been of the opinion that he’d be happy with whatever he could get from her, that he’d just hang on for as long as she needed him to and still be willing to stick by her side if and when everything else fell apart. He had grown a lot since first arriving in the villa though, but Harper hadn’t realised how much until he’d properly broken up with her to her face. He knew now that he didn’t deserve to be on her hook, and it had completely screwed up her backup plan.

She slowly unlocked her phone again and scrolled through her contacts, coming to stop on a name that she’d very nearly deleted a few weeks ago. Luckily she’d decided to hang onto his number for a little while longer though.

_ Hey. _

She texted him, knowing that it wouldn’t take much prompting to get him to respond to her. As predicted, a reply came through within less than a minute.

_ Hey! Long time no speak darlin. _

The last time she’d spoken to him was right after her and Bobby had become a frequent occurrence and she’d worried that she was overcommitting herself and risking getting caught. It had been between him and Bobby, and Bobby had won.

_ U wanna meet up? _

She almost cringed as she sent the message. He was far,  _ far  _ from her first choice, but at this stage he was the only choice she had and she didn’t want to be facing the media backlash on her own once the truth about why she and Lucas had broken up came out. She could at least deal with him for that long, and who knew? Maybe something good would come of it.

_ Absolutely. I can be there next week. _

Harper let out a faint sigh of relief at how easy it was to convince him. She’d suspected that it would be, but Lucas and Bobby had completely surprised her so she’d actually been a little nervous of what his response would be.

_ Sounds good. _

She replied before locking her phone again and setting it down on the couch beside her. This was fine. This was more than fine. They thought that they could leave her alone to deal with everything? Well they were both in for a surprise, and Harper was sure that she’d be hearing from at least one of them once they found out she had other options.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Thoughts, feelings, concerns? Good or bad, you can find me on Reddit u/ffkatbee and my inbox is always open!


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Big thank you to Esme and Alicia for their help and feedback on this chapter ❤❤

It had been a full week since Tash had kicked Bobby out of her flat. Four days since he'd stopped texting her, after his texts and calls went unanswered for the first three. She'd finally texted him back at the end of the third day.

_ If i wanted to hear it I'd call u _

Now he was drawing to the end of the first day that he'd decided he couldn't be bothered getting dressed. He'd been through break ups before, of course. Many times. He usually moped around for a day or so, but bounced back in no time. They didn't usually wipe him out for an entire week. An entire week  _ so far,  _ and if he was honest with himself, he couldn't imagine himself waking up in the morning feeling any better.

But this had been different, and he wasn't so much devastated about the break up itself, so much as the fact that his own disgusting behaviour had led to it. He could barely even look in the mirror, he was so mad at himself he actually worried a few times that he'd take a swing at his own reflection and smash the glass.

He didn't want his hand shredded, and he most certainly didn't need the seven years of bad luck that Lottie would have him believe was coming his way for breaking a mirror. He thought it best to play it safe, given the amount of bad luck he'd already brought down on himself. 

He glanced over at his phone as it started ringing, no longer holding out hope that Tash was going to reach out to him, and sighed when he saw Jonno's name on the screen. He let it ring out; he was already sick of his mate's constant attempts to get him out and socialising. The last time he'd been down and agreed to go out he'd met Jessie, and the memory of how he'd treated her still made him cringe. A few seconds after his phone fell silent there was a loud knock on his door, and he groaned and ran his hands over his face. 

"Take a fucking hint, mate!"

He yelled, not bothering to get up from where he was sprawled on his couch.

"Talk to me like that again Bobby, and I'll break your door down."

A familiar voice called back to him, and he quickly sat up straight.  _ No way.  _ He got up and went to his front door, completely forgetting the fact that he was dressed only in boxers as he pulled it open and a grin spread across his face.

"Priya!"

She eyed him up and down before stepping across the threshold and hugging him.

"Why are you naked?"

She asked after a moment, making him laugh as they let go of each other.

"I'm not. But just say the word and these can be gone."

He pinched the waistband of his boxers, pulling on it a little before letting the elastic snap back against his skin.

"No, please, it's fine."

Priya reassured him with a grin as he stepped aside to let her in.

"What are you doing here?"

"Visiting you."

She arched an eyebrow at him, as though her coming to see him was a regular thing and he was an idiot for asking.

"Why?"

"I spoke to Harper a few days ago."

He rolled his eyes and turned away from her. She followed him as he made his way into his kitchen.

"Drink?"

He asked her, pulling his fridge open and distracting himself from what she'd said.

"Lottie, too."

She slid onto a chair at his dining table and watched him as his shoulders slumped and he turned to face her dejectedly.

"Alright, let me have it then."

"That's not what I'm here for."

She patted the table beside her and turned to face him when he came over and slumped down beside her.

"Why are you here then?"

"To find out what's going on with you."

"If you've spoken to Harper, then you know what's been going on with me."

"I know what you've been doing. I don't know what's going on in here though."

She corrected, reaching over to tap the side of his head lightly. He sighed and leaned back on his chair.

"Neither do I."

“So maybe you need to figure that out before you do anything else.”

He was quiet, just giving a small nod in reply. She wasn’t telling him anything he didn’t already know. His problem wasn’t not knowing that he needed to get his head straight, but that he needed to figure out where to start.

“Do you love her?”

Priya asked quietly, and Bobby looked up in surprise.

“Who?”

“Harper.”

“No.”

He answered quickly, involuntarily pulling a face. There had been a time when he’d thought he could’ve loved her, but now he could barely even bring himself to like her.

“Do you want to be with her?”

“No.”

Priya frowned, seeming unsure of what to say to that.

“So why were you?”

Bobby leaned forward again, resting his elbows on the table.

“Because she wanted me.”

“Bobby…”

Priya let out a disappointed sigh, and Bobby rolled his eyes.

“I know. I know how that sounds. I don’t- I’m not usually someone that girls go after, you know?”

“You just haven’t found the right girl.”

He fell silent again and began drumming his fingers on the table.

“I have though.”

She frowned and looked over at him, obviously not having heard about Tash through the grapevine like she had him and Harper.

“Remember Tash? I told you about her.”

“From Casa, yeah.”

“She moved here, and I started seeing her.”

Priya’s face brightened and she sat up straighter.

“Bobby! That’s great!”

“And then she broke up with me. Because I told her about Harper.”

He added before she could get too carried away.

“You and Harper were done before you started anything with her though, right?”

“Not exactly.”

“Jesus, Bobby.”

Priya shook her head and looked away from him, and he could tell even without her facing him that she was beyond disappointed in him. He couldn’t blame her; the guy sitting beside her was definitely not the same one she’d been coupled up with in the Villa. That Bobby had spent four days pining after her while she was away at Casa, despite having new girls - including and especially Tash - all but throwing themselves at him.

“This- you’re not who I thought you were.”

She finally said sadly, looking over at him in much the same way as Tash had when he’d told her about Harper. It didn’t sting as much as it had when she’d done it, but it still wasn’t pleasant.

“I’m not who I thought I was either, if it makes you feel any better.”

“Was this my fault?”

She asked quietly after a long, uncomfortable silence.

“How would it be your fault?”

“For making you think you’d found someone when you hadn’t?”

Bobby thought for a moment before answering. He’d never considered that the way he and Priya had ended might have played a part in the drastic change in personality he’d gone through after leaving Love Island.

“It wasn’t your fault. I went in there with no expectations. Then you came in, and you were perfect. Perfect for me, I thought. When I found out I wasn’t perfect for you, it threw me. I always thought that if I found someone I felt that way about, the feeling would just be mutual. Then when it wasn’t… I don’t know. I guess I just felt like I should give everything a fair shot, because I wasn’t ever going to find exactly what I wanted. So when Harper showed interest, I latched on to it. And I knew it wasn’t right, and I knew it wasn’t going to end well, but I just didn’t care.”

He glanced over at her for a reaction, but she wasn’t giving one. Just watching him thoughtfully.

“I  _ liked  _ being the other guy, and I liked being the one that someone went out of their way for. That someone was willing to risk something for.”

“And now?”

“Now, I hate that I liked it, and I honestly don’t know what I was thinking all that time, and I just want to be the guy that can make someone happy. Someone that deserves it.”

“You know you have to talk to her.”

Bobby pulled a face again, thinking that she was talking about Harper, and shook his head quickly. He had no intention of ever speaking to her again. He didn’t want to give her a chance to try and drag him back in.

“Not Harper. Tash. Your someone.”

“I’ve tried. She’s not answering my calls or texts.”

“You know where she lives, right? Go and see her.”

“So she can slam the door in my face?”

“Maybe. Then you stand on the other side of the door and tell her everything you just told me and ask her to give you a chance to prove that you’re the Bobby she met in Spain again.”

“And if she doesn’t care?”

“Then you come home, fire off a message to me and I’ll bring around some scotch or whatever it is you people drink. You can drown your sorrows with me for tonight, spend tomorrow recovering, and then get back on your feet the day after and start proving to  _ yourself  _ that you’re the Bobby who arrived in Spain again.”

Bobby rolled his eyes and huffed out a sarcastic laugh.

“I’m not joking, Bobby. Get up, get dressed, and go.”

Bobby stared at her for a moment, and she stared right back pointedly, one eyebrow arched as she waited for him to get up and do as she’d said.

“But-”

“Nope. I don’t want to hear it. Just do it.”

“What if-”

“What if nothing. Just go.”

“You’re annoying.”

She grinned and flipped her hair over her shoulder.

“But hot enough to get away with it.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle as he got to his feet and headed for his bedroom to get dressed.

“Offensive, too. ‘You people.’”

He called over his shoulder and tutted to her before closing the bedroom door behind him.

\--

He stood at the bottom of the steps leading up to Tash’s place, having hugged Priya goodbye and promised to let her know how things went. He'd gone over every possible way this could go in his head on the way over, and an alarming number of scenarios ended badly. Those are the ones that flashed through his head as he eyed her door warily for a few seconds before slowly walking up the three steps to stand in front of it. He could hear music coming from inside, and over the top of it he could just barely make out Tash's voice as she sang along, and the sound made him smile a little.

He listened for a few more seconds before taking a deep breath and ringing the doorbell. He held it as the music and her singing stopped abruptly, and finally let it out when he heard the door being unlocked. The door opened and her face fell when she saw him standing in front of her.

"I'm pretty sure I told you I'd call if I wanted to hear what you have to say."

"You did, I know. I didn't want to wait that long to see you again."

"Bold of you to assume I was going to call at all."

"Well, that too."

She leaned against the doorframe, seeming to have no intention of letting him inside, and sized him up as she crossed her arms in front of her.

"So what do you want?"

"I want to apologise properly, and explain myself."

"Fine. Go."

He looked around nervously, very aware that he was practically standing out on the street and could be overheard by anyone who walked past.

"Can I come in?"

"No. Talk."

He took another deep breath and tried to come up with what he could say to make her forgive him, but then pushed it all out of his head and decided to just go with the truth. If it didn't work, well at least he could walk away with his head held high.

"I fucked up. With you, with Harper, with Lucas, and with myself. And I have no excuse for it other than that house messed with me and I lost myself for a while when I came out, and I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am. Because I really am so sorry."

He paused and watched her face for a moment, before she gave him a small nod.

"That all?"

"No. I know what you think of me now. I know because it's the same way I've thought of myself for the last few months. When she came onto me…"

He trailed off, not wanting to go into too much detail, especially once he saw the uncomfortable look on her face. It gave him a sliver of hope, the fact that she didn't want to hear about him and someone else. Maybe there were still some feelings there.

"I knew it wasn’t ok, what I was doing. But after being mugged off by someone I thought I had something with in the Villa, I guess I just felt like shit. And when she showed interest, I didn't think twice. And… it was different, feeling wanted. I didn't want to lose it."

_ "I  _ wanted you, Bobby. I wanted you in there, and I wanted you out here. But you ignored that, and you kept it going with her instead, behind  _ her  _ boyfriend's back - something I never expected from you. And you led me on like there was ever going to be a chance for me."

"I tried to break it off before you and me…"

He shook his head and cut himself off. There was no excuse for sleeping with Tash before properly ending it with Harper.

"Did you ever even like me? Or was it the same thing; you just fucked me because I let you?"

"No! I liked you. I  _ still  _ like you. I'm myself again with you. I want what we had. I want to be who I was when I first met you again. I want to be better for you, because of you."

She stared at him for a long while and he forced himself to hold her gaze until she sighed and rolled her eyes slightly, stepping back and nodding inside.

"Get in off the street, you weirdo."

He gratefully walked past her and inside, waiting awkwardly for her to close the door behind him and then following her to the kitchen. He stayed on one side of the counter while she moved into the kitchen opposite him and leaned against it, her chin on her palm and looking at him thoughtfully.

"I knew I was gonna like you before I even met you. I saw you on that show, and I knew you'd be loyal to Priya but I wanted to try my luck anyway. You were this funny, sweet, honest,  _ trustworthy  _ guy, the complete opposite to every other guy I've dated before, and I knew that was what I wanted. Then I got you, and it turns out you're not so honest and trustworthy huh?"

"I was. I'm trying to be again. I didn't realise how far off I was until I ran into you."

"Took you awhile to get back on the right track though, didn't it?"

"I know, and I'm sorry."

She rolled her eyes again and started to straighten up, but he reached out and grabbed her hand to stop her. She glared down at his hand and he waited for her to pull hers away, but she left it and looked back up at him.

"I'm so,  _ so  _ sorry Tash. If you can't get past it, I get it. I just wanted you to know that."

She stared back at him for a long while, eventually sliding her hand out from under his and letting out a sigh.

“So am I. I really liked you.”

_ Liked. Past tense. You ruined it before it even really began. _

He nodded sadly and took a step back away from the counter, resigned to the fact that it was over.

“Okay. Okay, I get it.”

“I still do.”

She added as he started to turn away, and he froze, racking his brain for a reason why she’d tell him that if she was done with him. Before he could come up with anything he felt her hand on his shoulder turning him around, and he studied her face carefully.

“You do?”

He asked slowly, and she nodded, a small smile on her face.

“Against my better judgement, yes.”

“So… what does that mean?”

Her arms wound around his waist and she rested her head on his chest.

“It means, you can prove to me that you are who I thought you were.”

She chuckled softly when he let out a sigh of relief and hugged her back tightly.

“I will. Promise.”

“You better. There won’t be a third chance.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Thoughts, feelings, concerns? Good or bad, you can find me on Reddit u/ffkatbee and my inbox is always open!


	23. Chapter 23

**ONE MONTH LATER**

**Bobby**

His phone beeping and vibrating across Tash's nightstand woke Bobby up. He groaned and squinted at it, the small light flashing in the corner indicating a text message. He heard Tash groan from where her face was pressed into his back as he reached out for it.

"What're you doing?"

She murmured as she shifted to lay her head on his chest when he rolled onto his back, squeezing her eyes closed against the sudden light.

"I got a text, sorry."

"How much did it take for you not to yell that?"

He felt her grin against him and chuckled.

"Not as much as it used to."

He replied, his smile fading when he saw an unfamiliar number on his screen, and a frown crossed his face when he read the message.

_ I guess I should thank you. It looks like you weren't the only one she had waiting in the wings. _

Underneath the short message was a link, and he hovered his finger over it, unsure if he wanted to know where it would lead him. He was almost positive the text was from Lucas, and the last time he'd seen him Bobby had been sure he was inches away from a punch in the face.

"Lucas?"

Tash asked, and he glanced down to see her eyes were now open and studying the screen of his phone.

"Yeah, I guess. He's got a new number, looks like."

It wasn't surprising that he'd change his number. Probably to prevent having to hear from Bobby, or Harper, or too much of the press.

"Open it."

He sighed and tapped on the link. His browser opened, navigating to a story on a tabloid site that he recognised, and the first thing he saw was a picture of Harper holding hands with someone who had his back to the camera.

"Is that…?"

Tash scooted up a little more until her head was level with Bobby's so that she could see his phone properly. He could hear that she was stifling laughter by the way she was breathing, and he scrolled down to find a different picture.

"Rocco."

He confirmed.

"Rocco."

Tash repeated thoughtfully, not even bothering to hide her grin. They stared at each other for a moment, Tash being the first to crack and start giggling. Bobby lost it a second later, scrolling back up to read through the short article once he'd composed himself a little.

"Says here that they're claiming to have just found each other again but sources say they were hooking up not long after the show ended."

She raised an eyebrow at him and he shifted uncomfortably in anticipation of the question he knew was coming.

"So you're not the only one she… you know."

"I guess not."

"Damn. Poor Lucas."

The now familiar wave of guilt washed over Bobby and he cleared his throat, turning his attention back to the screen. He'd cleared things up with Tash, he hadn't heard from Harper in a month, and now he knew that he wasn't the only thing that had caused the end of hers and Lucas' relationship. Still, he  _ had  _ played a massive part in it and he knew he'd always feel like shit about it. He was distracted by Tash starting to giggle again and he turned to look at her, trying to keep a straight face.

"Rocco!"

She exclaimed between giggles and Bobby gave her a small grin.

"It's a little funny, right?"

"It's… I mean, shit. I only knew the guy for a few days, and even that was too much."

Bobby didn't want to laugh again. He tried to hold it in, but a chuckle escaped his mouth nonetheless. He had to admit it was weird, no one besides Marisol liked Rocco in the end, and he had been certain Harper was included in that. She’d been the most eager to ice him out as per Lottie’s suggestion, and he’d had no idea that she was even still speaking to him. He hadn’t even seen them talk at the after party.

“Hey, Bobby?”

Tash tapped his shoulder and he looked down at her questioningly, both of their laughter fading.

“Yeah?”

“Are you happy with how things have worked out?”

She asked quietly, nodding towards the phone in his hand. He exited out of the article, deleted the message from Lucas (he assumed), and sat his phone back on the nightstand before rolling to face her.

“You mean am I happy to be here with you and done with her?”

“Yeah.”

“More than happy. Ecstatic.”

She nodded slowly and studied his face, and he could tell that she was trying to gauge his real reaction to seeing Harper with Rocco. Truthfully, he had no reaction beyond amusement. Maybe a touch of gratitude that she'd moved on and wasn't likely to bother him again. He understood the question though, he’d gone through a lot and willingly turned his back on everything that he believed in to be in the short, secret relationship he’d had with her, but now that he was out of it he could recognise how unhappy he’d been during that time.

The both of them stayed quiet for a long while, her hands tracing patterns on his back and his playing with her hair absentmindedly as he thought over how close he’d come to completely screwing himself over; most likely losing all of his friends and most definitely missing out on what he had right now. Laying in Tash’s bed with her wrapped up against him, he couldn’t believe that there had ever been a question in his mind about whether or not he should end things with Harper once he and Tash had reunited.

A tiny,  _ tiny  _ part of him almost regretted his relationship with Priya in the Villa, too. If not for how hard and fast he’d fallen for her, he would’ve brought Tash back to the main Villa for sure. Maybe they still wouldn’t have won or made it into the final, but either way he would’ve had her when he’d left. They could’ve been together this entire time, there would have never been anything with Harper, and by the looks of things, hers and Lucas’ break up would be entirely on Rocco’s shoulders.

But he couldn’t entirely regret it, because the way things had ended up for him was largely thanks to Priya. He couldn’t think of another ex of his who would’ve gone out of their way to check up on him and convince him to go after the girl that he actually had feelings for.

“Hey, Bobby?”

She said again, obviously noticing that he’d retreated into his own thoughts.

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

He stared at her for a moment, not having been expecting  _ that.  _ Her usual self assurance wavered under his brief hesitation, and instead of answering he pressed his lips to hers and kissed her slowly. She returned the kiss, though not as enthusiastically as she usually did, and broke it after a few short seconds to search his face for a reaction.

“I wanted to say that first.”

He said quietly with a small smile on his face, making her grin and kiss him again.

**____** ****

**Harper**

Harper glanced up to where Rocco sat at the table across from her, just in time to see his gaze lingering on the lower half of a woman wearing skinny jeans walking past their table.

“You know I’m right here?”

She snapped, and he looked back at her quickly.

“You know I can see you?”

She pressed when he didn’t answer, and he smiled at her and gave a casual shrug.

“I appreciate beauty, love. I’m sorry, I hardly noticed I’d allowed myself to become distracted.”

She rolled her eyes and snatched her phone up off of the table, navigating straight to one of the tabloid sites she checked pretty much daily now. There had been a lot of buzz on these sites over her and Lucas breaking up, and it was only amplified once someone had somehow gotten hold of the knowledge that her sleeping with Bobby was what had led to it. She knew that she shouldn’t read the things that people were writing about her, but she found that she just couldn’t stop. Especially since people had found out about her and Rocco now. If she’d thought that people’s opinions had been harsh when the public had found out about Bobby, after Rocco they were nothing short of brutal.

“Want a refill, pet?”

She cringed at the nickname, but gave a short nod and held her empty coffee cup up to Rocco. It could be worse, she knew. She could be completely on her own and be suffering all of this with no support, so for now she’d put up with the insufferable nicknames and Rocco’s wandering eyes. At least until she found someone better. Someone who would have her back no matter what - without the cheesy lines.

She barely heard Rocco’s chair scraping along the ground as her eyes came to rest on a familiar smiling face staring up at her from the top of the gossip page she was looking at.

Bobby. With a girl. A girl that she vaguely recognised as one of the weather reporters. The girl who had been all over him in the video the girls had received when they were in Casa Amor, but who he hadn’t seemed to show any interest in.

_ He’s actually found someone. _

A small part of her had been clinging to the hope that Bobby was unlikely to find anyone else. It had been no secret in the Villa that he didn’t have the best luck with girls, even the relationship he’d left the Villa with had fallen apart the second they were out in the real world. And she thought his chances after the public found out that he’d been fooling around with her and broken her and Lucas up would be even slimmer. But there he was, smiling beside this girl, her hand in the back pocket of his jeans and his arm slung around her shoulders.

It’d been obvious, even from the short video they’d been sent and the couple of beach hut confessionals that Harper had seen since leaving the show, that this girl had been interested in him and him only during Casa Amor. But he’d missed his shot, he even thought so himself, and Harper had never given her a second thought. Not once had her mind made the connection when he’d told her that he’d met someone else. Truthfully, she’d thought that he was lying about having met someone simply to get through the break up with her quicker.

She shook her head in disbelief and scrolled further down, her heart sinking even further until she felt as though it was sitting at her feet when she saw the next article.

Lucas.

That one hurt. He’d been in love with her, and although her feelings for him were not as strong as his feelings were for her, it still stung to know how relatively quickly he’d gotten over her. He was with a girl that she didn’t recognise, and from the parts of the article that she skimmed over, no one else seemed to know who she was either and neither of them were doing much to clue the public in. He wasn’t smiling quite as wide as Bobby, but then Lucas and Bobby were two very different people. He looked quietly happy, though. He and this girl had been snapped seemingly without their knowledge, walking close beside each other down the street and holding hands.

She didn’t realise tears were welling up in her eyes at the knowledge that both of the guys she felt  _ something  _ for had moved on, seemingly without so much as a second thought for her, until her vision blurred and she snapped her gaze up and away from her phone, locking it and angrily dropping it back down on the table.

_ This is fine, this is okay, it’s not as though you’re on your own  _ she told herself inwardly, taking a deep breath and looking up to find Rocco. He was leaning on the counter with one elbow, chatting animatedly and smiling flirtatiously at the girl behind the counter. She narrowed her eyes absentmindedly as he reached for one of the coffees, and even from where she was sitting she could see the way his fingers traced lightly along hers as he did. She tried to convince herself it was nothing,  _ no way  _ would he dare to cheat on her,  _ no way  _ would he dare to  _ actually  _ flirt with someone else right out in the open, right there in front of her. She kept telling herself that even as she watched him write something down on a scrap of paper she’d given him and then hand it back to her with a wink, even as she watched him lift the girl's hand and press a soft kiss to the back of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand that's all she wrote, folks!!
> 
> This was the first fic I posted on here, and the first thing I'd written with the intent of sharing in a LONG time, as well as being my first attempt at writing smut, so I'm feeling a little emotional now that it's over.
> 
> I'm gonna get sappy for just a second, you're gonna have to bear with me.
> 
> Esme, thank you for being my 24/7 cheerleader, my Chelsea, my bra. You've been so supportive this entire time, and I can't thank you enough for listening to me rambling endlessly about this fic and its characters, or for encouraging me whenever I started second guessing myself ❤
> 
> Alicia, I still can't believe this was the first LITG fic you read! I love that you're still here for it, even though it makes me that little bit sadder that it's ending. Thank you so much for all your love and support and encouragement, and for putting up with me whenever I got stuck in a rut with my writing ❤
> 
> Presley, sweetheart, my God where do I even start? Your enthusiasm for this story blows me away every single chapter. I love that you were my hype man for it before we even spoke, and I love that now I get to call you my friend because of it ❤
> 
> And of course, thank you so, so, SO much to everyone that's been reading, commenting and kudosing. It's honestly meant the world to me and kept me writing, I love you all so much!!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Thoughts, feelings, concerns? Good or bad, you can find me on Reddit u/ffkatbee and my inbox is always open!


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